OK, let's settle this argument once and for all. Die Hard is NOT a Christmas movie. Just because you set a movie at Christmas time, and insert a few genial "Merry Christmas"es into the film, and maybe put a guy in a Santa suit in it somewhere does not automatically give it the status of "Christmas" movie.
I mean, you've got these lists of so-called "Christmas" movies, like Lethal Weapon, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, L.A. Confidential and even Batman Returns, all of which are solid action and/or dramatic movies, but the connection to Christmas is tenuous at best. All of these movies would work just as well if the holiday in question was Thanksgiving, or Easter or even Earth Day. Maybe the events leading up to John McClane arriving in California to hook up with his estranged wife would have to be tweaked. But it wouldn't detract from the actual plot.
I admit there are some good arguments for considering Die Hard a Christmas movie, especially the idea that McClane is solidly tying to promote family values by being present with his family on this hallowed holiday, but those same family values would not be out of place if he showed up on his kid's birthday. (And the teddy bear he has in tow at the beginning would fit in just as well...)
But this movie was not a Christmas release at the time it came out. It was firmly entrenched in that classic "summer blockbuster" portion of the Hollywood tradition, having been released on July 15. 1988. Although, to be honest, 1988 doesn't seem to have been a banner year for that summer blockbuster theme. Some of the other movies released that summer ( Big, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, and Red Heat to name a few), probably would not be considered blockbuster material. In fact, July 4th weekend saw the release of License to Drive, Arthur 2: On the Rocks and Short Circuit 2, neither of which seems like Hollywood expected 1988 to be a big year for the summer movie goer.
And neither Bruce Willis nor director John McTiernan lay claim to he fact that this is meant to be a Christmas movie. If the two major names behind it deny that it is one, doesn't that seem to imply that people have a wrong idea/? I mean. if you want to pick this movie as your go-to Christmas Eve tradition as opposed to, say, Miracle on 34th Street or one of the many versions of A Christmas Carol, both solidly Christmas movies, then go ahead, but trying to justify it by saying it's a "Christmas" movie is pure folly, in my opinion.
Given that, so why am I choosing to do this post so close to the day in question? Because, despite my reticence to accept it as a "Christmas" movie, it's still a damn good movie. And besides, what says Christmas more than a bunch of terrorists being taken on by a one man army...? All we need is Santa Claus to show up in camo with an army of commando elves. And to celebrate the victory, a healthy dose of alcoholic beverages by the blazing fireplace afterwards... Ho, ho, ho and a bottle of rum. Then we really could call this a "Christmas" movie.
Besides Bruce Willis, who was just starting out in his film career, the film does have a cache of great actors in it. Of course, everyone knows the fabulous Alan Rickman as the head baddie, Hans Gruber, made his first feature film debut. But additionally we got what I like to call a big trifecta of memorable actors well known for playing "assholes". and/or villains.
First we have Paul Gleason. Gleason, of course, is well remembered as Assistant Principal Vernon in The Breakfast Club and Clarence Beeks in Trading Places, neither of which are very likeable characters. Additionally, there is William Atherton, the jerk who tries to get the Ghostbusters group shut down in the film of the same name. And Robert Davi, who here is the head of the F.B.I. was memoable, for me, as the villain in the James Bond film, Licence to Kill.
But that's not all. Reginald VelJohnson, Carl from the TV series Family Matters, is a solid presence as McClane's ground contact during the siege. Bonnie Bedelia. who I first saw in the 1979 version of 'Salem's Lot, is here as McClane's estranged wife. And one other character, Argyle, the limousine driver, is played by De'vereaux White. He doesn't have the cache of roles that the others had, but, interestingly enough for me, he was the kid who tried to steal a guitar at Ray's Music Exchange in The Blues Brothers.
Most of the cast of others are of varying degrees of fame, but one other that I wanted to trow in in Al Leong. Leong is a fixture in the kind of movies I like. He appears in, among other movies, Big Trouble in Little China, Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, Lethal Weapon, and The Scorpion King. He's hard to miss even when he has a brief uncredited role. He appears here as one of the terrorists (an Asian terrorist in a German terrorist group? Well, not much less likely than an African American one, and there is one of those too.)
Die Hard (1988):\
The film opens with our hero, John McClane (Bruce Willis) arriving at LAX, bound for a reunion with his wife and kids. We get the meat and potatoes of the situation in bits, since McClane is a man who likes to keep to himself, but apparently his wife Holly (Bonnie Bedelia) has taken the opportunity to expand her own career, despite John's ability to accept it. She took on a job with the Nakatomi Corporation as an executive, which caused her to move with the kids to L.A. while John stayed behind in New York. (He's a NY cop, and a dedicated one at that.)
John is met by Argyle (De'voreaux White), the limo driver that Holly has sent to pick him up. Even though Argyle tries to draw John out he's not very talkative. Upon arrival at the Nakatomi Building Argyle offers to park the limo in the garage and wait to see how John's meeting with Holly works out, just in case he might need a ride to get a hotel in anticipation of a quick turnaround.
Fortunately, for those of us with a short patience for matrimonial drama, there is a quick change in scenery. At just a mere 17 minutes into the movie the terrorists invade the building and begin their onslaught. The first of the victims is the security guard at the front desk, (because, after all, this whole thing can't go down if there is anyone who might throw a wrench into the terrorists' proceedings.)
The terrorists, led by Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman), quickly take over the Christmas party and take all those present as hostages. He demands the security codes from the president of the corporation, but the man claims he doesn't know. Whether he really does or doesn't we don't get to find out, because Hans has decided the man is uncooperative and therefore useless. Victim #2.
Meanwhile, John, who has been winding down in Holly's office, hears the gunshots and realizes the s**t has hit the fan. And now, the real meat of the film gets underway. The third death in the movie, however, will not be an innocent hostage. John takes out one of the terrorists and announces his presence to the rest of them.
Too bad that his first terrorist is the brother of one of the others. That creates a bit of animosity that will crop up now and again over the course of the film. Although Hans has a desire to take John alive, the brother has other ideas and often puts the entire endeavor in jeopardy.
While one of the terrorists (the electronics whiz) makes an effort to break down the security codes protecting the vault and Hans makes an effort to convince the hostages that he is a suave debonair and not entirely all bad kind of guy, the rest of the group makes an effort to track down this rogue would-be hostage who is making a mockery of them. And not doing all that good a job of it at that. There is a disparity of sides however. The terrorists only have 11 guys to go up against John. Probably needed to plan ahead a bit more.
Meanwhile, John, for his part is doing his best to get the attention of the authorities that something is not quite right at the Nakatomi Building. He turns in a false fire alarm, but the terrorists manage to put the kibosh on that. John tries to use the walkie-talkie he confiscated from the dead one dead terrorist he took out, but the police think it's just some joker. They do send one squad car, manned by patrolman Al (Reginald VelJohnson)., but he determines there is nothing wrong, since the terrorist who took over the security guard position gives him the old "nothing wrong here" line. But John manages to get their attention yet again when he shoves the dead guy out the window and it lands on Al's patrol car... Now, John has their attention...
In comes the police headed by one of our resident Assholes-in-charge, Deputy Chief Robinson (Paul Gleason). Robinson thinks he can handle the situation with a full-on raid on the building. Not his best idea. When things start to go a little south, the F.B.I. shows up, led by the second of our Assholes in charge, Big Jonson (Robert Davi). And his ideas aren't much better.
Meanwhile, the third resident asshole, a smarmy "get the big story no matter what" reporter, Thornberg (William Atherton) is gumming up the works. He eventually figures out who the fly in the ointment on the inside is, and who his wife is, and goes to try to get some of the story at the source by interviewing the kids of John and Holly. (Yeah, that's going to put him in good graces with the parents...)
Of course, most of the movie involves John putting himself in harms way trying to take out the terrorists. And I'm not exactly sure how many people end up dead in this film. There are all of the terrorists, of course, and two of the hostages, but it is questionable how many of the police and F.B.I. guys end up dead. Surely it doesn't come close to the body count in Rambo III (released the same year), but I would hazard a guess that the toll comes in the top 5 of movies released that year.
Die Hard is definitely worth watching, especially if you like this kind of film. However, I suggest if you want a family night movie for Christmas Eve, you are probably better off with It's A Wonderful Life.
The Plymouth ain't no limousine, but it is will get me home in style. Drive safely, folks.
This is my entry for the On The Spot Blogathon hosted by Taking Up Room
What do you call a movie with Morey Amsterdam, and a sphinx, and a spy ring, and Rose Marie, and a gorilla, and secret agents, and pop art, and hillbillies, and sliding panels, and a corpse, and Richard Deacon?
Search me. What do you call it?
Don't worry... we'll think of a title...
From the trailer for Don't Worry, We'll Think of a Title
Watch the trailer. It'll save time.
The old TV show from the 60's, The Dick van Dyke Show, was a classic sitcom that featured van Dyke, but also featured Morey Amsterdam as Buddy Sorrell and Rose Marie as Sally Rogers, the other two members of a comedy writing team that wrote scripts for the fictional TV show "The Alan Brady Show". Also a frequent star on the show was Richard Deacon as their immediate boss, the producer of the show, Mel Cooley. An occasional guest on the show was the star of the said fictional TV show, Alan Brady, played by Carl Reiner.
If you are not that well versed in the Hollywood of the 60's, you might think this was the entire output of Amsterdam, Deacon and Rose Marie. Admittedly they were not prolific. IMDb lists Deacon, for instance, in a raft of roles in which he appeared "uncredited". He did have one other recurring role; as Lumpy Rutherford's father, Fred Rutherford, on the TV show Leave it to Beaver, however.
Amsterdam and Marie both had limited roles in Hollywood (81 credits for Amsterdam and 80 for Marie, according to IMDb). All three had extensive TV credits, as opposed to film roles. However, Amsterdam and Marie had more experience doing stand-up comic stints. In early years of the transformation of Las Vegas from just a way station in the desert to the go-to place for extended stays as entertainment venue at the iconic nightclubs of the city, they both had regular gigs.
So it may come as a surprise that the three appeared in a film together in the 60's. Not a movie that many have seen. In fact, probably not a movie that most of you have even heard of. (And, in fact, I hadn't heard of it myself until recently, so you aren't the only ones.)
The film was a 1966 absurd slapstick comedy called Don't Worry, We'll Think of a Title. Really. That is the title. It was written by Amsterdam and George Schenck (a name that will be familiar to fans of the TV show NCIS).
The movie has a whole raft of uncredited cameos: You will see Moe Howard, Danny Thomas, Forrest Tucker. Irene Ryan, Steve Allen, Carl Reiner, Milton Berle and Cliff Arquette. (Arquette's name may not be familiar, although he is grandfather to those other Arquettes you have heard of, but he is also famous for his character of Charlie Weaver, if you watched the old Hollywood Squares game show. The iconic hat is a dead giveaway when he appears on screen...)
It also is credited as the first film of a woman named January Jones. No, it's not the same January Jones of Mad Men fame... That Jones hadn't even been born yet. This Jones was a lounge singer from Vegas that must've been a protege of Amsterdam. She didn't go on to a career in acting, that's for sure. Her film credits only amounted to 4 roles. She didn't even really have an impact on the music scene either. Which is no surprise if the following is an example of her musical talent...
With all those cameos, you would think this movie would have had a bigger following, but it didn't. In fact it is such a forgotten (and bad) film that even when it is mentioned it gets a pretty low rating. Leonard Maltin called it a "Grade Z shambles." TV Guide calls it an "abominable" comedy. The question is is it really all that bad? Well, it's not Blazing Saddles (my pick for best comedy movie) but then again, it's not Death to Smoochy (my pick for the worst comedy movie) .
Read on to see if you want to give it a shot for yourself.
Don't Worry, We'll Think of a Title (1966):
The film opens with Charlie (Amsterdam) working in a greasy spoon diner as a short order cook, with Annie (Rose Marie) as a waitress.
Also working as a waitress is Magda (Jones). Their boss, Mr. Travis (Deacon), is the put upon guy who has to keep this bunch under control. Which is tough even when the place isn't swamped with customers.
A lot of sight gags and excuses for one liners ensues including guest appearance to start the film, with Steve Allen and Forrest Tucker.
One of the funniest bits occurs early in the movie when Forrest
Tucker is chatting away with his date and the scene keeps cutting back
and forth between him saying his lines and Amsterdam and Rose Marie
saying different things. It's reminiscent of a scene from Austin Powers,
which is hard to describe, but it makes one wonder if Mike Myers had
this movie in mind when he did that scene. (Wish I could post this
clip. The video I watched is on another site and I don't know how to
cut it.
Also appearing to start out the plot of the movie is a mysterious woman, Comrade Olga (Carmen Phillips) who is really a secret agent trying to find a defector from a foreign country, a cosmonaut who has some seriously damaging info and who apparently is a dead ringer for Charlie. She is in contact with the foreign spy ring and given the job of keeping tabs on Charlie, since she and her bigwig bosses think Charlie is their defector.
Early on a lawyer (Moe Howard) shows up to inform Magda that a relative has died and left her as the sole inheritor of a college campus bookstore.
So Magda tells Mr. Travis she is quitting.
Left with the two malcontents, Mr. Travis decides to fire them both. And they decide to take off to follow Magda to her new digs. (Why? Why not...?) They start hitchhiking, and again a lot of sight gags, including Granny Clampett who gives them a ride.
Eventually they make it to Magda's new place Ye Olde Book Shoppe. She is happy to hire them both on. Mainly because she needs the help, of course, since she is trying to operate the place all by herself. But there are a lot of mysterious things happening. Especially this guy Jim (Michael Ford), who shows up to help out. But is he there to help Magda or does he have some ulterior motives? He sure does spend a lot of time talking in secret to another guy, one he claims to Annie and Charlie that he hasn't been talking to.
For another thing, Charlie notices a couple of guys who leave every morning packing suitcases, but show up just at closing time, packing the same suitcases. And most of the customers are a bit oddball. There are plenty of hoary old jokes in this film, most of them coming from the cameos I mentioned. Some of them come off as cheesy, while others can generate a titter or two. Especially if you've had a few.My favorite has to be a scene where Milton Berle makes his cameo, dragging a rope.
"Why are you dragging that rope?"
"Have you ever tried pushing one?"
The basic plot, the fact that Charlie resembles the missing cosmonaut, often takes a back burner to the oddball goings on, and maybe those two mysterious guys have something to do with it, Apparently they are using the bookstore to tunnel their way into some place else, but it is not readily apparent at the outset how they fit in. But then, its not readily apparent how ANYBODY fits in to the story at times...
Meanwhile, our secret agent, Olga (remember Olga?) has planted a listening device in the shop to try to overhear Charlie reveal himself as the missing cosmonaut. The listening device is planted in the shell of a turtle. (yes, I said a turtle...)
The strange goings on continue, ultimately leading to a shootout at Ye Olde Book Shoppe. And Charlie and Annie look around to see what's going on. But with detectives like these who need the Keystone Kops? Speaking of cops, Richard Deacon appears again as the chief of police. When Charlie says to him that he looks familiar, hadn't he seen him before, the chief takes off his hat revealing his bald pate and says
"Did you see the beginning of this picture?"
The hardest part of this film is keeping up with what is going on at any time. But it all clears up at the end... I think. Magda's friend, Jim, turns out to be a secret agent for the good guys. At least I think he's with the good guys. The good guys want Charlie to keep up with the charade, letting the bad guys think he is the missing cosmonaut. So the good guys can catch them? Maybe, but as Charlie, breaking down the fourth wall, tells the audience before the credits roll: "Don't reveal the shocking end of this movie." So I won't. How could I? I still don't know myself..
This movie is definitely a tough nut to crack to keep up with. Is it worth it? I'll just say well, it wasn't lost for 50 years for nothing... But then, that's what I'm here for... to watch those films you'd have to be nuts to watch yourself.
I had intended to do this post to celebrate my 60th birthday way back in 2021. But if you have been following this blog since it's beginning, you know that the circumstances of the onset of COVID caused me to lose interest for a period of time and 2021 passed by with only a couple of entries on the blog. And this one wasn't one of them.
Yes, folks, I'm an old man. This year I am turning 63. The idea for this blog entry was inspired by an idea. What would I have watched on TV the night I was born? (Assuming, of course, that I could actually watch TV at only a few hours old...) Using a webpage that lists what was actually on the schedule that night:
I arbitrarily decided which shows I would have chosen for the night. So let's go back to that time and watch a night of TV.
(Note: These times are listed by EST airings (and since I was actually born in Durham, North Carolina, those would be the actual times the shows aired for me. Of course, the time of the show's airings would have been different depending on where you were at the time. For instance, I now live in Texas, so an 8:00PM airing on the East Coast would have aired at 7:00PM if we had been in Texas. And, BTW, Texas is where I was when my first birthday rolled around..)
A brief spoiler alert! I tell the plot of the whole episode in the following encapsulations of each TV show. You can still watch the shows, they are all watchable, but if you want to go through the list and find the episodes and watch them first, I'll still be here when you get back.
TV Night at the Quiggy House (Dec 11. 1961):
TV Guide: Dec 9-15, 1961
Note: To begin, a brief apology: Unfortunately, my first show for the evening, (Pete and Gladys)
had a very limited selection of available episodes online. The episode broadcast on Dec. 11, called "The Live-In Couple", was not available anywhere I looked. So by
necessity, and for the sake of completion, I selected a later episode.
The actual air date for "Hero in the House" was actually three weeks
later., on New Year's Day. (The rest of the slate of shows, however, were actually aired on the date in question)
As a bonus, in case you'd like to watch, I have included the episodes from youtube (always assuming someone hasn't taken them down...).
8:00PM: Pete and Gladys ("Hero in the House")
Background: Pete and Gladys was an early example of the classic "spinoff". On a TV show from the 50's December Bride, starring Spring Byington, Harry Morgan played a next-door neighbor, Pete who often showed up on the show. Pete would often grouse about his wife Gladys (who was never seen on that show). Sometime after the cancellation of December Bride, a new show, Pete and Gladys appeared giving us some insights into a character already familiar to the fans of the previous show. The brief two season run of the show followed the usual sitcom format, with daily interactions between the stars and various other characters.
Interestingly enough, although it only lasted two seasons, it did garner some attention. Cara Williams was up against a few others competing for the 1962 Emmy awards for Best Actress in a Leading Role in a Series (she lost to Shirley Booth for her role in the series Hazel, however).
In addition to Morgan and Williams the shows brief run had a Who's Who cast of guest stars, many of which will be familiar to fans of 50's and 60's TV, as well as movies. Among them: Donna Douglas, Nancy Kulp and Raymond Bailey (from The Beverley Hillbillies), Morey Amsterdam and Richard Deacon (from The Dick van Dyke Show), Bea Benaderet and Frank Cady (from Petticoat Junction), Ronny Howard and Howard McNear (from The Andy Griffith Show) and a host of others. (BTW, I don't really know, but I'm PRETTY sure they were not playing the characters from their other shows... but without the benefit of watching I can't say...)
Pete (Harry Morgan) and Gladys (Cara Williams) are having dinner with their friends, Ernie (Joe Mantell) and Peggy (Mina Kolb). They are going to go to a movie afterwards, which is going to be a French film. Ernie says he doesn't like foreign films because of the effort to keep up with the subtitles and is promised that next week they'll go to an American film (Gee! A weekly trip to the movies??? Rich people...)
But then Gladys says next week will be out because Pete is going to a veteran's convention, which leads to Gladys pestering Pete to tell his war story, something along the lines of having taken on and captured a whole platoon of enemies single-handedly. Except it turns out that the story is not real. He later tells Ernie that he just made it up to impress his wife, and to explain why he has a Japanese samurai sword. But his wife thinks it's true, so...
At the movie theater, a rather big, stocky guy tries to make the moves on Gladys. She gets angry and walks away from him and tells Pete about it. Pete initially thinks a littler guy is the fresh guy, but when he finds out that it was the bigger guy he backs away from the encounter, and of course later becomes, as is wont to be among these kinds of characters, a little frustrated and guilty with himself for not having shown any backbone against said bigger guy. And of course, not only is HE not going to get any sleep over it, he's not going to let Gladys get any sleep over it either...
So what's the solution to regain his sense of self-respect? How about setting up an imaginary fight... (Yeah, that ALWAYS works out... unless you are living in a sitcom...) Ernie takes Pete to meet a friend of his, Charlie (Henry Kulky), who is a big guy. and one who occasionally does stunt work on film. Charlie teaches Pete how to throw and take fake punches, and then arranges to show up at Pete's house and pose as a burglar, whom Pete will proceed to thrash in front of Gladys. (You see this coming already, don't you...? I did anyway... or at least, I thought I did...)
Charlie shows up, and bangs a few pots around, but Pete has trouble waking Gladys, and when he finally does, she won't let him leave the bedroom to confront the "burglar". So Charlie, who has to pick up his wife, leaves. Finally Gladys lets Pete go down to investigate, but Charlie is not there. Who is there is Ernie. Ernie, who had been on hand to let Charlie in, ends up being dragged into an impromptu fight with Pete. (Pete has to justify his ruse somehow, doesn't he?) After Gladys finds out it was Ernie that Pete was fighting, Pete breaks down and confesses the whole setup.
But Gladys, being the doting, loving wife she is, arranges a separate fight so that Pete can regain his self respect. She sets up an event where a friend of hers has his cousin flirt with Gladys in public. When they go to the restaurant where the "fight" has been arranged, Gladys spies the guy she thinks is her friend's cousin. But, it turns out, the man is NOT the friend's cousin, but a total stranger. Yet Pete, acting like she had planned, stands up to the guy. And becomes her hero, especially after she learns the truth about the guy.
OK, so I (and you, too, maybe) thought the fight back at the apartment was going to turn out to be a real burglar, which is how the plot would have gone if this had been played out the usual way sitcom situations run. I liked the surprise ending of the situation. But I can see that this sitcom was not along what were the expectations I associated with the tropes that normally occur. If this was a standard throughout the run, it might have been a nice change.
8:30PM: The Rifleman: ("Long Gun from Tuscon")
Background: In the town of North Fork in New Mexico Territory in the early 1880's, Lucas McCain (Chuck Connors) raises his young son Mark (Johnny Crawford). Much of the series involves moral tales, one in which one character or another is faced with his (or sometimes her) prejudices or preconceptions and must modify his attitude to be more accepting. A frequent costar was Paul Fix as Micah, the town marshal (and this is one of those characters that is given a second chance at life, as Micah is a recovering alcoholic.)
Side note: The opening credits of The Rifleman always got to me on various levels. For one, the rifle that Lucas uses apparently has more rounds in it than I would have believed possible. (By my count he gets off 12 shots before he has to reload. It's explained during the course of the series that Lucas' gun has been modified, but I still can't believe he has the capacity in that gun to hold 12 shots.
The second is that dirty go-to-hell look he gives the camera as the
announcer intones "The Rifleman... starring Chuck Connors". I remember
as a kid watching the show (in reruns) I used to get up and slap the TV screen,
telling him to wipe that nasty look off his face.
Anyway the episode opens with John Holliver (Peter Whitney) showing off the shooting advantages of his "long gun" to his associates. In rides a fellow conspirator, Deecie (Brian G. Hutton) who informs Holliver that the whole town is basically deserted as most of the town has left to go to a neighboring town for a celebration. Holliver says there's no rush; in fact it might be a nice gesture to let the man Holliver has come to North Fork to kill spend the night worrying about his impending death.
In the temporarily deserted town Lucas is acting as a temporary marshal while Micah is out of town. But he was not around 5 years earlier. That's when Holliver had gunned down a 19 year old boy, making it look like self defense. Except the town didn't see it that way and ran him out of town. Not just "ran him out of town" but apparently ran him out of town on a rail, which isn't just a euphemism. They actually tied him to a rail. Which hurt Holliver's pride (not to mention probably his butt and back...)
Anyway, Holliver has returned to seek vengeance on the town. But in the tradition of an old western trope, the town is full of a bunch of lily liver chickens who don't want to face him. Leaving Lucas, as acting sheriff, to stand up to Holliver and his three men. At sunup. (of course, its sunup, when else would it be.)
Even though Mark wants to help, Luke tells him to stay put in his friend's house and not interfere, because he wants the boy to have time to "grow up", to be a boy while he can, and approach manhood at a normal pace.
At sunup, Holliver and his men enter the street. Lucas comes out to meet them, but at the last minute he has three others join him, three men who had expressed a desire to not be involved, but apparently had a last minute change of heart. And, of course, it's now four on four, and of course, the good guys win and the bad guys go down in short order.
BTW, if you are like me and have a fairly good memory for faces, Peter Whitney might look familiar. He had a pretty decent career in the film field. ("Hey, I Know That Guy" has been a idea that had been percolating on my to do list for this blog, which I actually kicked off last month. The idea being that somebody in the supporting role on a TV show triggers a memory and I go do a review of the film I remember him or her from. But I had to go to my old standby of IMDb to figure out where I remembered Whitney. And surprise, surprise... the memory was from the same movie that inspired me to that blog idea... he was Deputy Courtney in In the Heat of the Night). See the "Hey! I KNOW that Guy"s first entry here for more on that.
9:00 PM: The Danny Thomas Show: ("Toonoose's Plot)
Background: The Danny Thomas Show started out life as Make Room for Daddy, but due to some necessary changes (brought own by the death of Jean Hagen, the original star as Danny's wife, and a few other issues) was transformed into The Danny Thomas Show. The basic premise remained in effect throughout, however. A family oriented comedy which involved the daily interactions of Danny Williams who was a successful nightclub comedian and his family. By 1961 the cast included Marjorie Lord as his wife and Rusty Hamer and Angela Cartwright as his kids.
Danny (Danny Thomas) and his wife, Kathy (Marjorie Lord) are frantically trying to get ready for a date night. Or at least Danny is... As is typical in the 50's and 60's family scenes at least on TV, Kathy is delaying the start (because after all, women could never have the sense of urgency for a date night that men did...)
Both of the children are extremely friendly towards their dad, although each has an ulterior motive for their agreeable attention: Rusty (Rusty Hamer) wants Dad to sign his report card without even looking at his grades (which must not be very impressive), and Linda (Angela Cartwight) has apparently done something not that good with Dad's electric razor (Getting bubblegum out of it? She was shaving bubblegum?)
To complicate matters, Danny's uncle, Toonoose (Hans Conreid) shows up, with the intention of moving in. He has left his home in Toledo to come to New York, with the stated intention of never going back. The reason? The family bought a plot of land on a former golf course, with the intention of turning it into a burial ground for members of the family.
The prime spot on the land is a hill over looking it all, with a nice plum tree at the top. Toonoose is of the opinion that it should be afforded to the most prominent member of the family... and who is the most prominent member? Why, Toonoose, of course. But cousin Habib has initiated a coup that will insure that he, Habib, gets that spot. So Toonoose has abandoned the Toledo family for good in disgust. And intends to move in with his favorite nephew.
Hijinks ensue as Toonoose becomes an unwanted guest (in more ways than one). He "educates" Linda in an American history that does not fit the accepted one. He convinces Rusty that real he-men members of the family are strong warriors, causing Rusty to get a black eye after instigating a fight with the biggest kid in school. He redecorates the apartment with some really ugly stuff that Kathy objects to. He makes a mess of the kitchen, which doesn't set well with the maid, Louise (Amanda Randolph). And the straw that breaks the camel's back is that Toonoose dumps Danny's golf clubs out of the golf bag so he has a place to store the rice he cooked while making a mess of Louise's kitchen.
So the diplomatic Danny takes things into his own hands and calls Habib to try to remedy the situation. He tells Habib that really, the prime spot in the family plot would be the area of the sand trap which would cause family members to remember Habib as the most humble of all the family members. Which convinces Habib to relent and let Toonoose have the hilltop plot.... Only, Toonoose, overhearing Danny's conversation with Habib, has now decided that HE wants to be the most humble member... (If you strive to be known as "humble" you failed already, but that is a lesson for another story.)
Background: The Andy Griffith Show revolved around the daily goings on in the small town of Mayberry in North Carolina. Andy Taylor was the sheriff, a widowed man with a young son, Opie, his Aunt Bee and his best friend, Barney Fife, who also served duty as his deputy at the sheriff's office. Various other characters made appearances now and then, townspeople which are doubtless familiar to just about anyone even if they have never watched the series: Floyd, the barber. Otis, the town drunk. Gomer Pyle, the local service station operator and mechanic. And a few others that would crop up now and then, including Helen Crump and Thelma Lou, who were romantic interests for Andy and Barney respectively.
By the way, did you know that The Andy Griffith Show was a spinoff of the previous show in tonight's program, The Danny Thomas Show? It's true. Danny Williams had a run-in with Andy Taylor while traveling through Mayberry in an episode of said show which was the jumping off point to create this show a year or so earlier
Andy (Andy Griffith) is dropped off in front of the sheriff's office by a friend, George (George Neise), with whom he has been fishing. George expresses a desire to go fishing again, bringing a few friends from the state capitol (Raleigh, in case you don't know your geography) and Andy tells him come by any time. George invites Andy to come up to Raleigh for the next meeting of his men's social club, The Esquire Club. Everybody knows that The Esquire Club is the be all and end all of all the clubs out there. It is known as fairly elitist, acquiring only the best of the best of the best, so a membership means something.
Andy says the only way he could come if he could bring his deputy Barney (Don Knotts) and George, never having met Barney, assumes that any friend of Andy is good enough for him and his fellow members. Andy is fairly laid back about the opportunity. But Barney just about hits the moon over the possibility. And proceeds to let the rest of the town know about what is a sure thing in his mind, acceptance of membership. But if you know anything about Barney you know that he is NOT exactly "laid back".
Barney insists that he and Andy (especially Andy) has to learn how to act with these bigwigs. Andy, of course, just wants to be himself and let the cards land as they are dealt. At the meeting, Barney of course, comes across as a little brash and not very well knowledgeable. (For instance, he thinks that one member, who shots in the 80's in golf ought to be taking lessons from one who shoots in the 90's instead of the other way around...)
As expected, Barney is blissfully unaware of the faux pas he is committing. And thinks that they are both a shoe-in for membership. But when George and a friend show up at the sheriff's office later, they tell Andy that he is accepted, but the members decided that Barney was not club material. Andy, ever diplomatic, tells the group that he appreciates the honor, but that he and Barney will not be joining. When Barney comes in and Andy tells him that only one of them was admitted, Barney is absolutely incensed, sure that it was ANDY that was rejected.
The show ends with Andy telling Barney that another club has accepted both of them as members. It is young Opie's (Ronny Howard) Tomahawk Club.
10:00PM: Thriller ("The Return of Andrew Bentley")
Background: The basic premise of Thriller was the same as it's competitor The Twilight Zone, an anthology series in which each week the host, Boris Karloff, would present a story. Although with an eerie, suspenseful plot, with sometimes horror elements added to it to differentiate it from the other more well-known show.
The time period for this episode, apparently is the late 1800's ( a deduction made by the fact that the style of clothes hints at it, as well as the fact that our two protagonists arrive in a horse drawn carriage). A suitably Gothic scene for what will turn out to be a suitably Gothic story.
Arriving at the home of his Uncle Amos (Terence de Marney), Ellis Corbett (John Newland) and his wife, Sheila (Antoinette Bower) find the old man in an agitated state. He tells Ellis that he is about to die and his leaving his estate to Ellis, because Ellis is his only living relative. Even though, as he states he is not happy about it, but he has no choice.
Why? Because he has certain stipulations that accompany this bequeath of his estate. First he must promise to stay in the house 24/7 (that alone would leave me out. I get antsy even after about 6 hours in the house.). Second he must be on constant watch for evil spirits that might come to take the body, or worse, the soul, of Amos. Apparently he has plans to be entombed in the confines of his house for eternity. (That is not entirely bad, in my mind, even if it is a little weird). One of the other rules to get his inheritance is that Ellis must inspect the tomb every day for signs of tampering.
As Boris Karloff, the host warns the audience there are unknown things in the arts of black magic, but "everyone knows here is no such thing as magic".
Or is there?
It seems that Amos is worried about a previous event in his life. Amos is a practitioner of black magic. He had a partner named Andrew Bentley (Huh? Amos and Andy? Really?) By the way, Andrew's spirit is played by Reggie Nalder. For those of you unfamiliar with the name (or his repertoire), he was the uncanny faced villain in several movies, including the assassin who was such a threat to Jimmy Stewart in The Man Who Knew Too much, and notably, for me, as the vampire in the 1979 TV movie adaptation of 'Salem's Lot.
Well Ellis and Shiela eventually get the estate, but Shiela keeps trying to get Ellis to renege on the deal because the place gives her the willies. But it's not until Ellis actually sees the ghost of Bentley trying to break into the crypt that he starts to get edgy himself. The ultimate facts come to light. The only way to get rid of Bentley is to destroy his corpse. But no one knows where it is. Amos killed Andrew 3 years earlier, but some one stole his corpse. And now it is a threat.
Ellis enlists the help of the local Reverend (played by Oscar Beregi, whom you will recognize as having been a frequent actor in The Twilight Zone) Together they find the corpse and destroy it, thus saving the day and the resting place of Amos.
This episode really gave me the creeps. I'm glad I watched it in the afternoon, instead of around bedtime. Which is a good thing, because in terms of the blog, this would be the wrap for the evening.
Well, folks, it's time to toddle off to bed. And since I'm only a few hours old at this point, I bet I sleep like a baby. (OK, save the groans and the raspberries... don't even THINK I didn't hear that.)
Quiggy
Final note: Above is a sign off from a TV station in Raleigh NC, which would have been one of the local TV stations (for me) at that time. Sign offs were de rigueur in those days because TV stations went off the air after the news (or the late show).
This is my entry in the John Saxon Blogathon hosted by Realweegiemidget Reviews and Cinematic Catharsis
So who is John Saxon? Well, Saxon, whose real name was Carmine Orrico, was a guy who made a name for himself in the 70's and 80's as a go to guy for such low budget horror and martial arts films that were the bread and butter of the drive-in movie circuit. You may not recognize the name, but it's a sure bet you would recognize the face, especially if you watched those kinds of movies.
During his heyday he was a presence in such films as Enter the Dragon (notably Bruce lee's last completed film) in which he is among a group of competitors in a tournament on a remote island. and many Westerns and crime dramas in the 70's. Although he never achieved a high profile starring role for the most part, he did get a lot of attention whenever he was on screen. He managed to win a Golden Globes award as New Star of the Year, an award he shared with James Garner and Patrick Wayne (from 1954-1965 there were multiple winners of the award each year).
Saxon had a career that spanned from 1954 to 2017 (a few years before his death), but he was most active in the 70's and 80's. He did get roles ointo even the 90's and 2000's. I didn't know it at the time, but I recently re-watched Beverly Hills Cop III, and lo and behold, there was Saxon in yet another role, this time as one of the baddies.
Blood Beach (1979):
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water... you can't get past the beach!
You know, for years, I thought that was the tagline from this movie. It plays on the fears caused by the blockbuster Jaws from a few years previous. However, it turns out that the tagline is slightly different.
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water ... you can't get to it!
Notice the difference? I think my tag is better, but, we can't do anything about it now...
Anyway, as intimated in the tagline, this movie initially plays off the fears of beach fun that that blockbuster had on vacation traffic back in 1975. Surely the makers of this movie did not envision having that kind of impact on vacationers. (If they did, then I want some of what they were smoking in the boardroom...)
And while I'm admitting misconceptions, for years, before I ever got to actually see the movie, I had sworn that I heard that the creature at the end of the film turned out to be a giant ant lion. Whether that was an actual ending of another film, I can't say, but as you will see if you make it to the end of this review, you will see that it was NOT necessarily a giant ant lion.
The movie opens with Harry (David Huffman) going off to his job as a harbor patrol man. He apparently swims out to his job. On the beach he greets a woman, Ruth, who is doing her daily walk on the beach with her dog. While Harry is out swimming he hears the screams of the woman, whom we see pulled down into the sand and disappear.
What happened to her? No one seems to know, since it seems no one saw her disappear. At least no one who is coming forward. We do see a woman watching the scene from an abandoned building, but she is not making herself known.
The LA Police are dubious.about her disappearance. The two detective partners who discuss the disappearance with Harry (played by the Young brothers, Otis and Burt... OK they aren't really brothers, but isn't it interesting that they are both named Young?)
There former girlfriend of Harry, Catherine (Marianne Hill) shows up, because, coincidentally, she was also the daughter of Ruth, and has shown up to find out what happened to her mother.
The incident with Ruth is investigated, but no one is sure how a woman can just suddenly disappear from a deserted beach. One of the better parts of the film, at least for me, is when Burt Young is on the screen. Sure, he is playing a character that is typical for him, a crass, brash and not too bright bruiser type. But Burt always did brighten up movies I saw him in.
The next "victim" of of our mysterious enemy is the pet dog of the woman killed earlier. The dog is looking for his missing mistress and ends up losing it's head over the loss. Literally.
Cut to the crowded beach. The next potential victim is a girl who is with friends being covered in sand. She starts screaming that something is biting her legs. She is pulled from the sand, her loegs covered in blood (but still intact). (And depending on which cut of the movie you see, there is a brief (very brief) glimpse of whatever is doing this.
Finally, our star makes his appearance. Saxon, who is the chief of police, Captain Pearson, is talking with the assembly of police discussing the incidents, the missing woman, the dog and the girl who was "slumming; I presume" from Beverly Hills. And he wants answers. (Well, who doesn't, John? Who doesn't?) He's got everybody from the mayor to the daughter to the parents of the girl to the ASPCA (who want to know what the police are doing to investigate a blatant act of cruelty to animals because of the dog victim. (Yes, there are some attempts of comedy in this film... poor attempts, but attempts, nonetheless.)
Several more people are attacked by this sand creature including a would be sex offender who, without being too graphic, won't be doing any sexual offenses in the future. Viewing the scene Capt Pearson says the tag line "just when you thought it was safe..." (The writers don't miss a chance with this one...)
As with that other classic beach monster film, no one seems to have any idea that if there is something dangerous around, maybe a good idea would be to avoid the dangerous area. So we are going to see a couple more victims being swallowed up by the beach. (And for a movie called :"Blood Beach" there is surprisingly little "blood"in these attacks. The ones that are swallowed whole apparently have no blood in them.)
Interestingly enough, we do get some very brief looks at this creature as it shows it consuming the victims below the surface. It's looking almost like some kind of slug. But the real thing is, when the authorities finally discover it's lair and set up video cameras, that it looks more like some kind of Venus flytrap.
Captain Pearson has the lair rigged up with explosives designed to blow the thing to smithereens. But as a doctor intimates, there are some things that exist in the world that are capable of regeneration and wonders what might become of each smithereens if they do blow the thing to Kingdom come.
OK, so if you are operating on all cylinders, you can see how the final scene rolls out.
Is this movie any good? Well, I can give you the best thing I can, which is tell you how one of my review books puts it. It's a "silly little shocker that can best be described as "sucky"." Which is a tongue-in-cheek reference to the way the creatures sucks it's victims into the beach, but is not a bad description of the film. If you want to save time, just think of it as Baywatch with less bikinis and more blood. Or at least more disappearing bodies...
Battle Beyond the Stars (1980):
This film, made on the cheap by the famous low budget mogul Roger Corman has a cache of stars and future stars to boost it into the stratosphere. Besides our current subject, Saxon, the film also has Richard Thomas (yes, John-Boy Walton is in this...). It also features George Peppard (Col. Hannibal Smith from The A-Team, and the titular detective Banacek... or for those of you into that kind of movie, Paul from Breakfast at Tiffany's). Additionally you've got Robert Vaughn (Napoleon Solo from The Man from U.N.C.L.E., among others...), Jeff Corey ( a face you would recognize, even if the name is not familiar), Sybil Danning (one of the big names in the babes with guns and/or swords genre of film) and Marta Kristen (Judy Robinson from the TV series Lost in Space). And Julia Duffy (Newhart)makes her big screen debut. It also has music composed by James Horner (whose resume included, among others, the films Titanic and Field of Dreams).. And James (Jim) Cameron was involved in the art direction and visual effects. And the script was written by another giant in the industry, John Sayles (who directed several high profile films, including my favorite sports movie, Eight Men Out).
The film has been described as Star Wars meets Seven Samurai, At the start, Sador (John Saxon) of the Malmori has come to the planet Akir. (A name that is homage to Akira Kurosawa, director of Seven Samurai, among other great Japanese samurai flicks). He informs the people of Akir that he intends to subjugate them in a short time.
Zed (Jeff Corey) tells the people they must learn to fight, a thing that has not been a part of Akir society for many years. What must happen is they must gather some mercenaries to help them, and thus we have Shad (Richard Thomas), the only one who apparently can fly their lone star ship to head out to recruit these mercenaries.
But first he needs the help of old Zed's former ally, Dr. Hephaestus (Sam Jaffe). He goes to the spaceport home of the doc, but the Doc is just a shadow of his former self, in more ways than one. He insists that Akir is doomed, with or without help, and wants Shad to stay on the spaceport and, with his daughter, Nanelia (Darlanne Fluegel), repopulate the spaceport. (All it has are androids...) But Shad is insistent on saving Akir, and with Nanelia's help, escapes.
The next goal is to round up the mercenaries. Fortunately for Shad, one is just around the corner. Cowboy (George Peppard) could be a big help, that is if Shad can exercise a little bravado and kill a few people who are trying to kill Cowboy themselves...
When he has finished, Shad tries to convince Cowboy to join the team. But before he does, we get to see why Sador is such a badass. He has a "stellar converter". Think Death Star, but on a smaller budget. Essentially, instead of blowing up planets, Sador can eliminate his enemies by turning their planets into suns.
Meanwhile, Nanelia is rescued (captured?) by another race, a mercenary creature who goes by the name of Cayman. (And Cayman looks a lot like a couple of other creatures from movies I've seen, like the alien in Enemy Mine). Cayman rescued her, but intends to sell her to another party. That is until he finds out that Nanelia is seeking mercenaries to fight Sador. It seems Cayman and Sador are NOT bosom buddies...
And Shad runs into the Nestor who want in on the action. (BTW, I wonder if this is where Star Trek got the idea for the Borg. The Nestor are sentient beings who share one consciousness... "What one sees, all see, what one knows, all know...) They are not looking for gain in the matter, they just want to join in the quest, however.
And then Shad meets up with Gelt (Robert Vaughn) the sole remaining mercenary of his own world. And Gelt is reminiscent of the character that Vaughn played in The Magnificent Seven, Lee, a guy who doesn't care what he has to do, just as long as he gets paid to do it.
The final piece of the puzzle is St. Exmin of the Valkiri (Sybil Danning). Shad is not entirely gung-ho about her joining the party however, since he ship is small and it doesn't look much like a fighting machine. (Of course, if he could see her, he might make an exception...) But she is nothing if not determined and somehow ends up on the fighting team anyway.
Which leads up to the final battle. As any good Star Wars knockoff, there are some decent space battles, but since, as I said before, this has some elements of Seven Samurai (or The Magnificent Seven, for you neophytes), there is also a battle on Akir's surface. And that's where Cowboy's help comes in handy, since his trade of choice is hand weapons, so he has taught the Akir how to handle themselves in hand-to-hand combat.
Ultimately, a few brave souls have to die. And most of them die spectacularly. (That $2 million budget wasn't all wasted on actor talent...). This isn't Star Wars, of course, it's just Star Wars Lite. But damn, it is a great movie in it's own right. If you have an hour and a half to kill, I recommend it.
Well, folks, that wraps up this trip. The old Plymouth may not make it to Akir, but it's good enough to get home (as long as I don't run into Saxon on the way...) Drive safely, folks.
