Alien Babes on the Beach

Beach Babes from Beyond (1993):

 

Stallone! Swayze! Travolta! Estevez! See them all on one screen!  

Got your attention now?  A dream casting that no one has ever seen, you think?

Well, it's true.  However, those people you just thought of are NOT in the movie.  What you are really getting is:

Jackie Stallone (the mother of Sylvester).

Don Swayze (the brother of Patrick).

Joey Travolta (the brother of John). 

Joe Estevez (the uncle of Emilio Estevez and Charlie Sheen and brother to Martin Sheen).

Sorry to burst your bubble...

But you get a movie that asks the cosmic question "what would happen if aliens from outer space landed in the middle of a summer beach party?" (quoted from the movie trailer, by the way.  I don't claim credit there).

 

 

OK.  that said, this movie is NOT one I'd recommend.  To anyone over the age of 21 anyway. In 1993, even in my early 30's, the idea of a movie which basically had no plot except to sandwich between some soft core sex scenes was a bit beyond my tastes. In my 20's, maybe. I did watch a few late night movies on Showtime, which at least in the 80's did air some soft core porn.

And that's all this is, really.  A soft core porn movie with an intriguing idea for a plot if they had developed it as a straightforward movie, but they didn't.  

The basic plot is, if you are really interested (and have made it this far into the review) is that the parents (played by Don Swayze and Jackie Stallone) are on a trip to get away from it all leaving behind their young daughter (Nicole Posey).  The daughter, Sola, and two of her friends, Luna and Xena (played by Tamara Landry and Roxanne Blaze) hot wire Sola's father's T-Bird hot rod spaceship to head to a distant planet (called Beta 45, but we would know it as "Earth") to check out guys with "large cranial capacity" (yeah, right).

And they'll have fun, fun, fun 'til daddy takes the T-bird away. (Sorry, couldn't resist...)

Meanwhile, on Earth, best buds Dave and Jerry (Michael Todd Davis and Ken Steadman) hook up with Dave's uncle Bud (Joe Estevez), who has a knack for acquiring dilapidated beach houses which frequently get condemned.  The sub plot here is a bikini contest to save Bud's current domicile. And the alien girls are on board to help out.

Added in is Joey Travolta as a dispenser of healthy alternatives to standard beach fare at a beach snack food hut.

With all that, if this had been a straightforward film, even with the usual topless scenes of women that are bound to show up in these kinds of movies, I think this movie would have been at least interesting.  Unfortunately, because of the even more frequent soft core sex scenes, even I was turned off by it. Maybe if I seen it in 1993 wen it came out I might have been more receptive...

I can't help but wonder if the almost headliner names here, (Stallone, Swayze, Estevez and Travolta) even knew what the final goal was when they signed on.  (Burt Ward, Robin from the 60's Batman TV series is also in it).

If you decide to take a gamble on this there are a couple of sites online to watch it for free. I am not going to post even my usual marquee pic or the movie poster lest anyone get the idea this blog is going in an entirely new direction.  I still like some of the more risque types of movies, but I draw the line at recommending soft core porn.  I only add this because of the interesting aspect of casting the familiar family names that were the focus of the first 20 seconds of the movie trailer.

(Note: I can't even put up the movie trailer, even though the one I found is censored enough to not be too offensive. But if you are interested enough it's on YouTube. So is the movie if you're so inclined to check it out on your own.)

Back to more acceptable fare next time.  Drive safely, folks.

Quiggy