Celebrating World UFO Day

 

 Well, folks, today is World UFO Day! It's a day when aficionados get together and "keep watching the skies" for those mostly elusive visitors from alien worlds. World UFO Day is actually celebrated on two different days, depending on the individual (and probably there are some that celebrate it BOTH days...)

June 24 is recognized by some because that was the day, in 1947, that the first modern sighting of a UFO was recorded, when Kenneth Arnold saw flying saucers on a routine flight near Mt. Rainier in the state of Washington. But the official date, July 2 of that same year, is the one that was latched onto to be designated as the official World UFO Day, because that is supposedly when the famed UFO crash occurred near Roswell, N.M. 

Surprisingly (at least it's surprising to me),  World UFO Day didn't become an officially recognized day until 2001. World UFO Day has it's goals (as stated in the link above) "to raise awareness of the undoubted existence of UFOs, and to encourage governments to declassify their files on UFO sightings". Despite official government insistence that pretty much ALL UFO sightings can be explained by naturally occurring events on planet Earth (like "swamp gas", with or without the presence of an actual swamp...), there are a certain segment of people who are convinced the government is hiding the truth.

(BTW: "UFO" stands for "Unidentified Flying Object", the key word being unidentified. So in true definition of the term, a UFO is not necessarily a craft from some other world piloted by aliens. So: a reminiscence from your blogger: In 1997, I had walked down to the local convenience store to get some stuff and on the trip back I observed something in the sky.  It looked to me like three flat balloons bunched together. This thing moved across the sky in a straight line, not bobbing like you would expect if they were actually balloons. It was in broad daylight, not at night. I never found out what it actually was. So in true definition, at least as far as I am concerned, that was an unidentified flying object. Was it piloted by aliens? I doubt it, but since I still don't know what the hell I saw, I can still say I once saw a UFO.)

 

 

 

The Astounding She-Monster (1958): 

In the realm of movies which The Midnite Drive-In has presented to you, the reader, we have had a few big budget features, ones in which the special effects sometimes overwhelm the plot, but are exceedingly well manufactured and entertaining.  There have also been quite a few low budget films, some of which the special effects help to, just barely, keep the movie afloat.

It is a rarity that we get what I would call a no-budget film.  And even rarer that the film in question has, not only, virtually no special effects, but is also saddled with a plot that is so riddled with holes that it virtually indistinguishable from a hunk of Swiss cheese.  This is one of them.  I used to think that no movie could possibly be as bad as Teenage Zombies.

I was wrong.

(OK, so it took 9 years for me to find a movie as bad as Teenage Zombies... Some of you who have been following along this blog since the start may have a different opinion...) 

This movie is part film noir, which I normally like, coupled with an attempt at horror, with a bit of science fiction to add to the mix.  And none it of gels into anything remotely intelligent. 

The movie starts off on a bad footing, with a narration straight out of an Ed Wood movie. And, surprisingly enough, not only was Ed Wood an unofficial consultant, but the director, Ronnie Ashcroft, was an assistant director on one of Woods' films (that being Night of the Ghouls). The narrator starts out by trying to attract the audience into the plot with a series of statements that are undoubtedly the most obvious points he could make. I wouldn't have been surprised if I found out that this was his only credit, but as it turns out, Scott Douglas, the narrator, did have 28 films to his credit...

The basic beginning is the kidnapping of a wealthy socialite, Margaret (Marilyn Harvey), who is kidnapped by a gang of inept would be kidnappers. This crew of bozos are Nat (Kenne Duncan) and Brad (Ewing Brown), along with an alcoholic gun moll, Esther (Jeanne Tatum). The four race along the road, not knowing that nearby an object has crash landed.  

 

A geologist, Dick (Robert Clarke), witnesses the object crash, although he initially thinks it's a meteor. (Clarke is the only saving grace in this film.  Although he admittedly is not much better than the rest, he had some better roles in his career, including several AIP films that I have watched over the years. Beyond the Time Barrier is the only one that has appeared on The Midnite Drive-In, but there are a few others worth checking out.)  

 

Brad, who is driving the car, sees a figure, the alien that came out of the crashed object, on the side of the road and ends up wrecking the car. When asked what his problem is by Nat, Brad claims he saw a naked woman on the side of the road. (She's not naked, BTW, but the glow she gives off might be distracting enough...)

 

The alien, our titular She-Monster (Shirley Kilpatrick), disappears into the woods before the others can see her.  The four end up on foot where, lo and behold, they come across the cabin where Dick is doing his research. They decide to try to hijack Dick's Jeep, but unfortunately for them, the headlights aren't working. And since the daylight filming location outside is actually posing as night, it is revealed it would be dangerous to try to navigate the mountain road in the dark. 

(One of my nitpicks in these kinds of movies is when the budget is so low that they have to use pretty substandard filming techniques to convince you it is night time, when it is obviously being filmed in the day time.  It's obvious many times in this film.  Witness the light shadows on some of the characters faces when they are outside, supposedly in the dark...)

Brad tries to fix the broken headlight and sees the alien creature again, so Nat, who is obviously the brains of the outfit (which is stretching the term "brains"...), sends Brad out to look for it.  He encounters the alien again and tries to shoot it, but the bullets have no effect.  Then the she-monster touches him and he dies. Meanwhile, back at the cabin, things are getting a little out of hand.  Nat eventually goes out to look for Brad leaving the alcoholic gun moll with a gun to watch over the hostages. (Not exactly the most intelligent thing, given her predilection for the bottle...)

 

Nat finds Brad, and also finds the alien. Nat, too, tries to shoot her to no effect, but manages to escape.

At this point there is not much really exciting going on in this film so I will fast forward a bit.  Nat eventually runs into the she-monster again, and maneuvers enough to send her flying off a cliff (in one of the least realistic falls I ever saw in a movie...)  Supposedly, the alien is dead, but guess what?  She's not.

Eventually the she-monster kills both Nat and Esther, leaving our two hostages free, but the she-monster is still looking to be on a rampage.  Dick figures out if he makes a concoction of chemicals he conveniently has on hand in his cabin he can kill it. Which he does.

 

But the final denouement is yet to be revealed.  It seems that the alien was an emissary from a federation of planets to try to get Earth to become a peaceful planet and join said federation.  (Apparently the only reason she killed the others was because they started it, by trying to kill HER...)

As much as I like AIP movies in general, this is definitely one to avoid. Even if the alien girl had actually really been naked, it couldn't have improved this movie enough for me to recommend it.  Outside of Robert Clarke and Kenne Duncan, the cast of the film had very limited success in the film industry and it is readily apparent why. Although it is probably unfair to disparage Shirley Kilpatrick for her role, since she has no lines and only exists to be the killing monster in the film. But on that note, she only had 3 movie credits and the other two were listed as "uncredited", so maybe Hollywood knows something I don't... But cheer up.  The second feature tonight is substantially better than this one.  Read on.  

 

 

Invasion of the Saucer Men (1957):

Sometimes you get something that just blows you away. When I was 7 or 8 years old, I would be, like, "I wanna be a policeman when I grow up".  A few days later I might be, like, "I wanna be a fireman when I grow up". Not too long after that I might wanna be anything from a doctor to a lawyer to a garbage can man.

This movie seems to have no idea what it wants to be when it grows up.  It starts out kind of like a happy family fantasy movie, because the credits feature a book with pages turning presenting the credits and a somewhat upbeat happy tune.  I was reminded of nothing so much as a kind of a slightly spookier version of the opening music to It's a Wonderful Life. The film itself opens with the narrator (also appearing on screen as Artie) describing some events that happened to him recently in a town called, get this, Hicksburg. (Really! So from the beginning, you think, is this going to be a comedy?)

It seems that way starting out anyway.  A brief beginning introduces us to kindly gentleman named Farmer Larkin (Raymnd Hatton).  "Kindly" meaning a crotchety old geezer who mumbles and grumbles about those "consarn kids" who keep coming on his property to use a secluded spot as a Lover's Lane. Not to mention getting his prized bulls and cows drunk on their beer. (Apparently in Hicksburg even underage high school  kids can get their hands on beer...)

 

Segue to a diner where our narrator, Artie (Lyn Osborn) and his pal Joe (Frank Gorshin) are contemplating on what to do for fun. Artie and Joe are apparently hucksters who are in town just to make a few bucks. (Why in a backwoods town like Hicksburg probably says more about their intelligence than I probably could...) 

 

Artie is all for going back to the room where they are staying but Joe wants to keep up the quest for fun. And Joe is apparently not drunk enough to call it a night. (I should mention that Joe constantly pull drags off a bottle he keeps in his pocket, but Artie is laying off the sauce. Remember that, because it's important.)  Joe, while out driving, sees a flying saucer land in a nearby field.  (So now it's a sci-fi movie...) Ever looking for the play that will rake in the bucks, he heads back to wake up Artie.  But Artie thinks Joe has had a little too much to drink and thinks Joe is just seeing things. So Joe goes back out to get more proof for his friend.

Meanwhile, our heroes, the kids, Johnny (Stephen Terrell) and Joan (Gloria Castillo) have made their way to Lover's Lane and are making out like the rest of the town's libidinous teenagers.  But Farmer Larkin's bull comes along and ruins the mood. And what with Johnny having seen the lights from the saucer and deciding to leave with Joan, they travel down the back roads (without headlights) and run over one of the aliens who just landed.  

 

The alien is killed, or at least most of it...  It's hand separates from the dead body and manages to puncture Johnny's tire, leaving the kids on foot.  They go to Farmer Larkin's house, but since Larkin isn't home, they just walk in and use his phone to call the police.  But the police think it's a joke and hang up on them. 

 

Meanwhile, Joe arrives and finds the dead alien, but while he is investigating, the alien's pals show up and inject him with some poison from their claws. (Which turns out to be pure everyday alcohol, BTW). They take their alien pal's body and leave Joe's body in front of Johnny's car to make it seem like the kids actually ran over Joe instead of an alien. (This story was originally inspired by a short story called "The Cosmic Frame" {as in "frame-up"} so the aliens are basically trying to frame Johnny for the death of Joe.) 

 

Meanwhile, the bumbling excuse for the local army has heard of the rumor of a landing flying saucer and they head out to investigate.  They find the saucer, of course, but it is apparently unoccupied. (BTW, we only see four of these aliens, and all of them are out on the prowl, but even the small size of those aliens makes this saucer look like it is not quite proportionate enough to have transported them.) 

 

The bumbling army guys try everything to get some response from the ship, including firing guns at it, but the bullets just bounce off.  So these mental giants think the next best solution is to use an acetylene torch. Which blows the damn ship up.

 

Meanwhile the kids have (finally) convinced the cops to show, but they don't find a dead alien only a dead Joe, and haul Johnny and Joan in for involuntary manslaughter. But the cops are just as bumbling as the army guys because they leave the kids alone. And of course, the kids escape, because after all, they just HAVE to prove their alien story is not just a bunch of hooey.  We finally see these aliens in the bushes and boy are they creepy.. (So now it's a horror movie...) The severed hand from the first alien ends up in the car with the two teens.

 

The kids round up Artie and convince him to come help them find the aliens. And every time Artie gets involved in this movie, it gets a little comical. (so now it's a comedy, again...). The kids and Artie eventually find out that the aliens are destroyed by bright lights. (Is there no sun on this alien planet...?) So they round up the rest of the gang at Lover's Lane (all this happens in one night...) and take them to the place where the aliens are and surround them.  And turn on their headlights. And poof! no more aliens.  (It was a great plan by the aliens, and it would have worked, if it hadn't been for those meddling kids...)

 

And we eventually learn that the aliens have pure 200% pure ethyl alcohol in those claws. So the police determine that Joe died of acute alcohol blood poisoning, and was dead before Johnny even hit him with the car.  (Which, of course, we know he didn't actually hit him in the first place, but remember, only the kids have actually seen any aliens, not counting the flying saucer the Keystone Kops Army people blew up....)  

So just exactly why are the aliens here in the first place? Surely they aren't the vanguard of an alien invasion force (despite the title of the movie...) Personally I think they are just on a joy ride and decided to check out this out of the way planet to find out what mischief they can get into. Other than setting Johnny up for the frame job, they don't seem too intent on an invasion.

As always, I point out that these movies aren't exactly Oscar material (did you expect that, with a title like Invasion of the Saucer Men...?) I kind of liked this movie over all, mostly because of the (unintentionally) comedic parts. The actual intentional comedic parts are pretty cheesy, especially Artie and the unfortunate Joe. But there are so many parts of this film that are unintentionally funny that they probably sailed right past the original viewing audience. 

I would be remiss if I didn't mention that renowned special effects man from the 50's, Paul Blaisdell, was responsible for creating the monsters from this movie. He also created the monsters from many of the classic drive-in monster movies of the era, including It Conquered the World, The Beast with a Million Eyes, The She Creature and It! Terror from Beyond Space. Although his resume was fairly small, the movies he did create monsters for are memorable for the monsters, even if nothing else.  

So it is definitely worth at least one watch.  It's up to you if you decide to watch it a second time. At least one podcaster I watched likes this movie so much he turned it into a focal movie to review on his podcast and admits to really liking it. Me? I watched it twice. Once for this actual blog posting, but the second just to see if it was really as ridiculous as it was the first time.  (It is...) But, damn, it was fun to watch.  

Well, time to see if I can get the old Plymouth back home.  Don't think I'll be going down any back roads, just in case, though...

 

Quiggy