"Hey! I Know That Guy!" Episode #7

Hey! I Know that Guy! is an ongoing series I started in which I pick an actor or actress who had an early role in the TV series The Twilight Zone and pair it with a later big screen role after they got famous.

 

Hey! I know that guy!

Donald Pleasence had a career that lasted from 1952 until his death in 1995.  And that's just on film.  He really got started in 1939 doing some stage acting, with a brief stint in the Armed Forces during World War II causing a short break in his chosen career. He is probably primarily remembered by a majority of people for his recurring role in the Halloween movies as Michael Myers' psychiatrist, Dr. Sam Loomis. Some of you may even remember his role as Blythe "The Forger" in The Great Escape, and still others may remember him from his role as the James Bond nemesis Blofeld (specifically in You Only Live Twice. There were several people who filled that role over the span of the franchise.) And there may be even a smattering of you who remember him as the President of the United States (complete with his British accent!) in Escape from New York.

Whether he was playing the villain, or the hero, Pleasence was definitely one of the more memorable figures in whatever movie or TV show he appeared.  As stated above, he had a brief interlude during WWII, which he initially declined to join in the fray, citing being a conscientious objector.  But he eventually joined the RAF after Germany started bombing London.  He was shot down and became a P.O.W.  Thus when it came time to play a P.O.W. in The Great Escape, he had some experience to bring to the role. During his career he had some roles in movies as well as T.V. (He has the distinction of having played a murderer in both Columbo and Mrs. Columbo.  (Did you know there was a Mrs. Columbo TV series?  It only lasted 13 episodes, and was not very well received...)

Although he never really was a headliner, he did manage to get noticed and had plenty of work over his career.  Pleasence made an impact in his appearances, and even when he was what was essentially the "bad guy" you often couldn't help but feeling somewhat sympathetic for his character, mainly due to his demeanor in the role.

An early appearance for Pleasence was in a Twilight Zone episode, "The Changing of the Guard". A departure from the typical TZ fare, that of some malcontent getting his just desserts, or even of some unlucky Joe Schmo who just happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. This episode was one of those rare sentimental ones that some viewers tend to like better than the typical darker episodes.

In this episode, Pleasence plays an aged professor at a prep school. (And the makeup for the actor is pretty decent.  Pleasence, who was only 42 at the time, is made up to look like he is somewhere over 70.) Pleasence is a professor at a Boy's School, one of those institutions that used to be more prevalent in bygone days. He is a genteel and well-liked teacher, although he is a bit dismissive of his current charges. But deep down, you know he loves them and his job.

 

Which makes it all the more devastating when he finds out that, as opposed to his thinking that he is going in for another contract to teach for another few years, he is being forced in to retirement. He begins to feel sorry for himself, and is convinced that he has had no long lasting effect on his students through the years. He comes to a decision that he is going to commit suicide rather than face that retirement.

But while he is at the marker for the founder of the school he hears the school bell ring. Curious, since it after hours, he investigates. Lo and behold, in his old classroom he finds the spirits of long dead students of his past terms. And each of them relates what a profound effect he had on them. Several of them, war casualties in former wars (WWI and WWII) cite the courage that inspired them to perform heroic deeds during their war service, and one, who died during an experiment with radioactivity, also cites the effect that his professor had on him.

Ultimately, he decides that he did indeed have a lasting effect on his charges and does not commit suicide after all. Rather than the usual "just desserts" type of moral story that was a part and parcel of The Twilight Zone, this episode has a homey feel good ending.

Of the films that Pleasence was a part of during his career, my favorite has to be when he appeared in the aforementioned The Great Escape. In this film, Pleasence plays Blythe, a roommate of James Garner's Hendley. Although he is not the only character we get to see developed during the course of the film, he had some memorable scenes. In this film he is a forger, the guy who is responsible for creating false documents for the escapees to use to pass as German citizens after the escape.

 

A couple of the scenes really stand out.  It turns out that myopia is causing Blythe to go blind. The head of the escape troop makes a decision that Blythe is therefore an unacceptable risk and is cut from the escapee list. The devastation that Blythe feels over this is chiefly seen in Pleasence's facial expressions after being told of this.  And the bright look of hope when his roommate Hendley insists that he will be responsible for helping Blythe.

One really hopes that Blythe and Hendley will be successful, and they are to some extent, although eventually Blythe is shot shortly after the plane he and Hendley are using to escape is shot down.  Pleasence really brings this character to life, and although as the viewer we hope they ALL succeed, I can imagine that many were disappointed when one of them wasn't Blythe.

Well, that ends this entry.  See you soon for the next entry in the Hey! I KNOW that Guy!

Quiggy

 

  

Announcement!

 

 

 

 

I am moving up in the world! I have been accepted as a member of The Classic Movie Blog Association.

(See image on the left side to go to their website). 

I feel honored to be among the members of this great list of movie bloggers. But I promise I won't let it go to my head. I promise to be the same humble blogger you have come to love (or at least tolerate...)

 

 

Unpretentious Beginnings

 

 

Some names are synonymous with the word "director" (as in film director). Look at a list of today's winners and nominees for the coveted Oscar, and almost all of them got their start in directing low budget films that may not even be known today except to the fans of those directors.  And, there were several of them who owe their start because a guy named Roger Corman saw something in their talent and gave them their big break.

The list of these directors, therefore, owes a debt to the "drive-in" genre of films, because Corman was the undisputed king of the B-movie drive-in film. Now, to be fair, some of those directors who got their start under Corman are still not familiar to the general public because they spent most of their lives churning out the kind of schlock that was the bread and butter of the drive-in. But at least a few of them went on to greater fame as box-office draws and even those coveted Oscars.

Some names with which most of you will be familiar: Peter Bogdanovich, whose first movie, Targets, had a Roger Corman hand in it. Francis Ford Coppola, who early on got a hand up by being given the helm for Dementia 13. Joe Dante and James Cameron both had a connection with Corman, Dante directing a movie called Piranha and Cameron getting the gig to direct the sequel to that movie, Piranha II: The Spawning.

Two more names that almost anyone is familiar with, Ron Howard and Martin Scorcese, also got a start directing low budget films under Corman and the American International Pictures banner.  Ron Howard's first chance at directing was for Grand Theft Auto (not to be confused with the video game by the same name), and Martin Scorcese's second film, Boxcar Bertha, were both a part of the heyday of drive-in movies.

Both of these movies would have fit in well with the Hit the Road Blogathon, a blogathon I am hosting later this month. Grand Theft Auto, obviously, makes extensive use of cars, and Boxcar Bertha and her crew get around mostly by trains. (And as of this writing, neither has been chosen by other entrants in the blogathon.) 

Both involve characters who are on the wrong side of the law, from a legal standpoint, but who are basically on the verge of being cultural heroes in the way they are presented.  Bertha (Barbara Hershey) and Sam (Ron Howard) are people you can cheer for, mainly because they are not really all that bad.

 

 

 

Grand Theft Auto (1977):

If you are looking for a mindless movie to while away about an hour and a half, I would say you can't go wrong with Grand Theft Auto. This movie is basically The Blues Brothers, without all those songs to get in the way. Not that I don't like The Blues Brothers soundtrack... It has some damn good music.  But basically the plot of The Blues Brothers  is just an excuse to smash up cars and have some general good old fashioned mayhem in a comedic form.

Grand Theft Auto does have a plot... of sorts. Paula Powers (Nancy Morgan) is the daughter of a well-to-do family (Barry Cahill and Elizabeth Rogers). Dad and Mom want their daughter to marry into more money, in the form of Collins Hedgeworth (Paul Linke). But Paula has other ideas.

See Paula is madly in love with Sam Freeman (Ron Howard). and she is adamantly opposed to marrying that dweeb Collins. (I mean really, who would want to marry a guy whose first name is "Collins" anyway?) Paula says she and Sam are going to elope and go marry in Las Vegas, but Daddy has other ideas.  He takes away her car keys. 

It;s Paula's car, bought with her own money (although, probably Daddy gave her the money anyway, so technically it is HIS not hers...) But Paula is determined if nothing else.  She hot wires Daddy's Rolls Royce and makes a run for it with Sam. Daddy tries to give chase in her sports car, but she sabotaged it before she left (and thus begins the unending demolition of cars that is at the heart of the movie.)

 

 

But Daddy is nothing if not resourceful.  He has intentions of running for governor and wants nothing to smear his campaign, so he hires a private eye named Ned Slinker (Rance Howard, the director's father) to track them down and bring them back without any publicity (and there's a private eye name if there ever was one... Ned Slinker...)

In the meantime Collins has found out about Paula's plans and decides to give chase himself. He wrecks his car in the process, but manages to steal another car. And, probably not with Daddy Powers' approval, Collins calls the local radio station where he tells the DJ, Curly Q ( Don Steele), that he is offering a $25,000 reward to whomever can stop and detain the two elopers.

 

 

(One of the best parts of this movie is when Steele is on screen. Don Steele was a real life DJ, who spun records under the moniker of "The Real Don Steele". He had a very brief run as an actor, most often playing a variation of himself, a radio DJ. Check him out as Junior Bruce in Death Race 2000, or as Screamin' Steve Stevens in Rock 'n' Roll High School.)

With the announcement that there is big money to be had, there are many who try to get in on the deal. Including a street preacher (Hoke Howell) who deserts his revival congregation to join the hunt, as well as couple of mechanics, Sparky (Peter Isacksen) and Ace (Clint Howard, the director's brother, and, boy! talk about nepotism...).  Also in the mix is Collins' mother, Vivian (Marion Ross), who has thrown in another $25,000 for the safe return of her son.

 

 

 

Throughout the film there are at least a hundred destroyed cars (I am including a rather unnecessary, but still hilarious scene where Paula and Sam and the Rolls end up in a demolition derby.) And nearly every time one of the characters gets their car smashed up, they steal another one, because everyone seems to get out of their cars and leave the keys in the ignition.  Thus the "Grand Theft Auto" part of the film is the other characters and their greed inspired attempts to catch Paula and Sam. Those two manage to make it almost to the end of the movie in the same Rolls Royce.

 

 

(BTW, as a side note, I am not entirely convinced that actually is a Rolls. They way those two put that thing through the wringer, including trying to drive it cross country (and mean literally cross country), I don't think a Rolls would have held up to the battering. It does have a Rolls body, however...) 

If you do like car smashups and pointless mayhem in your movies, this one is a hoot. As I said, before not much of a plot, but then nobody is coming to a movie called Grand Theft Auto  for a fascinating story line and well-crafted dramatic roles, are they?

I don't have the ambition to look at each movie individually to find out, but I'd pretty much bet that this is the most expensive movie Roger Corman ever produced, at $602,000. Fortunately for Corman that high price tag didn't break his record of making another box office winner By that I mean it made money, not that it was a resounding success. It cleared about $15 mil. 

Howard's involvement in this movie was the result of a deal he made with Corman. Corman wanted Howard to star in a film he was making, Eat My Dust!, and Howard and Corman came to an agreement; if Howard would agree to be the star of Eat My Dust!, Corman would back Howard in his transition from acting to directing.  (Note: I had originally planned to do the two as a double feature because I bought a DVD of the two, but I decided to do this instead. Hopefully Eat My Dust! will appear at The Midnite Drive-In soon, however...)

 

As far as it's reception, Grand Theft Auto got mostly negative reviews. But I like Roger Ebert's comment (who gave the movie 2 stars) that Howard and Morgan, the stars of the film, were "...the Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello of this generation, perfect for what the trade calls drive-in pictures..."

 

 

 

Boxcar Bertha (1972): 

Boxcar Bertha was based on a book by Ben Reitman, Sister of the Road: The Autobiography of Boxcar Bertha. The reality of the story behind the book is that "Boxcar Bertha" never truly existed. She was a fiction made up by Reitman as a composite of several real female outlaws from the 30's. Given that Reitman himself was an anarchist as well as a lover of Emma Goldman, one of the premier radicals of the late 1800's and early 1900's, it should be no surprise that Boxcar Bertha has at it's core a radical, and somewhat anarchist, political viewpoint.

At the center of this drama is Bertha Thompson (Barbara Hershey), a young girl who is apparently orphaned after her father, a crop duster, is killed in an airplane accident.  It is the Depression era, so her prospects are somewhat limited. She begins her journey by riding the hobo trail aboard boxcars. Eventually she ends up in a town where she meets a former friend, Big Bill Shelly (David Carradine).

 

Bill is a rabble rouse, anarchist and a pro union speaker, trying to raise a revolution amongst the railway workers in a rail yard.  After inciting a riot between them and the anti-union strike breakers and police present at the event, Bill and Bertha escape by boarding another train. Bill is marked because he is a prominent organizer and eventually gets arrested leaving Bertha to fend for herself.

She winds up rescuing a petty gambler named Rake Brown (Barry Primus) from a would-be shooting.  Seems he was trying to cheat his opponents and one of them didn't take to kindly to it. She and Rake become small time grifters until Bertha finally meets up with Bill who has escaped prison. Along with a black man who used to work for Bertha's father, Von (Bernie Casey), the four begin a systematic series of train robberies.

 

Although Bertha and Rake and Von are only in it to get money to survive, it quickly becomes apparent that Bill has a different objective; he wants to bring the railroads to their knees.  Often Bill is maligned as being a Bolshevik, a common derogatory term for anyone who tried to buck the system of the rich being the elite and the rest of the population just being expected to go along with it. Sure there is some similarities between bill's political agenda and that of the hated Communists of the era, but Bill is not a Marxist or a "Bolshevik".

One of the minor characters, and the person to whom Bill directs most of his animosity, is H. Buckram Sartoris (played by David's father, John Carradine). Sartoris has no love for Bill, and in fact has as much told his hired hands that given the "dead or alive" capture of Bill. (He has a bigger preference for "dead".)

 

Over the course of the film, Bill often gets arrested, and Bertha, sometimes with help from Rake and Von, and sometimes on her own, has to get him out. At one point, however, Rake is killed and the rest of  her cohorts end up in jail. Bertha is forced to take the only job available for women all alone in the Depression... prostitution. But one day she encounters Von in a bar and he tells her that Bill escaped and is living in hiding. Bertha loves Bill (maybe not on the same level as Bill loves her, but it is love) and goes to him.

 

The ending of this movie is pretty stark (and what else would you expect from Scorcese...?) I won't give away the ending any more than that, but as far as Scorcese pictures go, I would say it is well worth watching. This despite the fact that Rotten Tomatoes ranks it #34 out of 34. I wouldn't put it in the top 10, maybe not even in the top 20, but I would say it's better than several of those that rank higher on the list. 

 

Well folks, time to get the old Plymouth to make that trip home. Drive safely.

Quiggy

 

 

Announcing the Hit The Road Blogathon

 

 

The essence of adventure! Whether the beginning of summer (in the northern hemisphere around Memorial Day) or the end of summer (again, in the northern hemisphere, around Labor Day), many start plans to make a road trip for vacations. (National Lampoon's Vacation)

But a road trip is not limited to just that.  There can be any variation of motivation to make a trip. It can be as simple as "I wanna go see Grandma and Grandpa, let's pile up in the car and HIT THE ROAD". (The Visit comes to mind, but there are others)

Or it can be a matter of necessity.  "We have to get this package to someone and we gotta get it there yesterday". (Think Smokey and the Bandit)

Or just a venue to give a background to a story involving improving relationships between two characters who may need to change their previous situations. (I'm thinking Over the Top here, which is more about father and estranged son becoming more intimate with each other than the actual road trip itself.) 

One of the things I remember from years past is that the best part of going somewhere is the process of getting there. Not everyone has the wanderlust like me. I sometimes get in the car with no goal other than just to go driving. But the need to accomplish a goal that involves moving from one point to another is something that just about everybody has at some point in their lives.

That is the essence of the Hit The Road Blogathon. For the purposes of this blogathon, any film, TV show or, even, book is fair game. I am encouraging you to look at your vast collections and write about any such motivational stories that involve getting from point A to point B. Hell, I'll even accept an entry of your own past if you have one that brings back fond memories (but a film or book would be better).

So here are the basic rules:

1. Pick a movie, TV show or book in which the main part of the story involves travel. And this is wide open. It can be by car (Green Book), motorcycle (Easy Rider) semi (Convoy), walking (Stand by Me) bus (The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert), or even spaceship (Battlestar Galactica). As long as the piece in question has at it's core a trip from point A to point B and the trials and tribulations involved in said trip, it's fair game. I will consider any movie acceptable as long as the trip itself is the core focus.

2. Let me know of your choice so I can add it to the roster. (Include the mode of transportation, if it's not obvious.) Multiple entries on the same movie are not out of the question, but, please, let's not have 100 people choosing one film.  Try to be a little varied.

3. Grab one of the following banners that my friend Rachel @ Hamlette's Soliloquy created for me to use and include it in your post. Thank you Rachel for these. (The movies in the banners, by the way, are Stand by Me, Green Mile, Easy Rider, and Convoy.)  

 

 

 

4. Post your entry sometime between Aug 28 and Sept 1 (Labor Day weekend here in the northern hemisphere) and notify me so I can include it in the wrap up post.

5. As always, have fun.

If you need any suggestions, just message me.  I have a raft of movie ideas that I can give you.

 

 

The Roster (so far):

Me:  Convoy (1978) and The Great Smokey Roadblock (1977) {big rig trucks}

Hamlette's Soliloquy: The Journey of Natty Gann (1985) {trains}

Realweegiemidget Reviews: The Love Boat (TV series) ep. featuring Ron Ely: (1980) {cruise ships}

Angelman's Place: Paper Moon (1973) {cars}

Taking Up Room: Out to Sea (1997) {cruise ships}

In The Good Old Days Of Classic Hollywood: The Long, Long Trailer (1953) {camper trailers}

Silver Screenings: China Seas (1935) {ships} 

18 Cinema Lane: She Wore a Yellow Ribbon (1949) {horses}

18 Cinema Lane: Santa Cruise (novel by Mary Higgins Clark) {cruise ships}

 

Lust in Space

 

 

One thing you can be sure of: Men can't do without women. Even men from other planets realize that women are important. Not as viable members of the working society, if you take these two movies into consideration, however.  No, these two movies are firmly entrenched into the concept that a woman's basic usefulness begins and ends with their part in the continuation of the species. You know, "barefoot and pregnant". (Although having them look halfway decent in the process is a bonus...)

I think it's pretty interesting that there were at least two science-fiction movies that had this concept as their basis. (There might have been more, but these are the only two I've ever come across.) Not only that, but both have a theme that some unfortunate accident in the past has caused a situation where all of the women on the invader's planet (in both these cases, Mars) have virtually been eliminated, and the only solution available is to invade Earth and take some hostages back to Mars to continue the species.

Fortunately, for the women, these aren't the little green men normally associated with Mars (see Mars Attacks). They at least look nominally humanoid. (And in the case of the second feature, at least one of them looks like Tommy Kirk {Old Yeller}). 

 

 

 

 

 

Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster (1965):

In the never ending quest to find the most obscure and cheesy movies for The Midnite Drive-In, sometimes I find stuff that really is "way out". It is a given fact that the 50's and 60's were a hot bed of low budget movies, especially in the realm of the drive-in movie. With a few thousand dollars to spend and enough willing actors and actresses hard up enough for a role they would take on virtually anything, you could crank out a movie that was bound to secure a profit.  Maybe not enough for you to retire on, but at least enough to finance your next Schlock Theater entry.

One of the things that always got a draw in those halcyon days was the "invasion" entry, in which some aliens with less than altruistic intentions came to Earth, either to enslave the inhabitants, or just looking for a quick bite on the way home at the Human buffet table. Another thing that drew in the crowds was the next Monster of the Month club entry. Put "Dracula" (or "vampire"), "Terror", or "Creature" in the title and sit back and wait for the crowds.

So including the words "Frankenstein, "Space" and "Monster" in the title and you had the essence of the themes that would draw the necessary crowd to the local drive-in theater.  

It didn't matter that the titular "Frankenstein" had nothing to do with Mary Shelley or the numerous variations thereof in film.  And it didn't matter if the actual "Frankenstein" of the title didn't actually meet the "Space Monster" until the last 5 minutes of the film. At least you got, in the interim, some wacky antics by a midget Spock look alike, and a Martian princess (looking like a refugee from some ancient Egyptian sword and sandal epic) trying to do their own invasion of the Earth.

 

The only thing going for this movie is the bevy of bikini clad women the Martians are trying to capture. And those "Bikini-clad" women don't have to do a damn thing but just appear on screen... they don't even have to act. (It's probably a good bet that if they did, they would have acted rings around some of the actors who actually DID have lines in the film...)

 

The set up is this.  The Americans keep launching missiles into space, but unbeknownst to them, there is a spaceship out there shooting them down. But you can't keep down that good old American "can-do" spirit, so they keep banging away.  Their next goal is to send up a rocket piloted by Col. Frank Saunders ( Robert Reilly).  But the scientists do have one trick ace card up their sleeves.  Frank is not really human.  He's an android.  (The cat is almost let out of the bag when "Frank" seizes up during an interview with the press.  But since this press contingent is a couple of apples short of a pitcher of lemonade, they don't really catch on...)

So, back to the aliens.  The alien contingent is lead by a group of soldiers commanded by Princess Marcuzan (Marilyn Hanold, fresh from her gig as Playboy Playmate of the Month {June 1959}) and her adjutant (psychiatrist?) Dr. Nadir (Lou Cutell). The reason the aliens keep knocking down the rockets the Americans are firing is because they think they have been spotted and the Earth is trying to knock them out of orbit. Which would put a serious damper in their plans...

So just what are the plans?  It seems that there has been a serious war going on back on the home planet. A nuclear war.  With whom, it is never said. But the ultimate result of the war is that all the women on the planet have been killed. (That is one seriously selective nuclear bomb... And what comes to mind is... how was the princess able to escape this outcome?)

The advance alien contingent has come to Earth to attempt to kidnap some Earth women to take them back and "repopulate" the species. How? Well, for one thing every girl has to be "purified", which basically involves them being put on a conveyor belt and sent through some kind of alien CAT scan device, although I don't know what the end result does.   (When they are eventually rescued late in the movie it doesn't look like they've changed much).

 

One of the things that really make you scratch your head is, all these women that the Martians capture seem to be docilely submitting to their capture.  I don't quibble over them not actively trying to resist, after all the Martians have those Whamm-o ray guns that can disintegrate anybody they aim them at, but these women don't even raise up a vocal resistance... I mean, they don't even cry or whine over their situation.  Are the Martians really that much better an option than the Human men they have been around?

Meanwhile, back at the lab, the head scientist, Dr. Adam Steele (James Karen, the only actor you will probably even recognize), and his assistant, Karen (Nancy Marshall), try to track down Frank, who, because he is an android, is sending out signals that they can pick up that he is still alive. Although, since he has taken damage, they know he is not necessarily a stable android. 

 

Karen: What would he do?

Adam: I don't know. It would depend on what happened to him. If he'd had any bad experiences, he might react violently... out of his built-in preservation unit. Anything could happen.

Karen: What you're saying is he could turn into a...Frankenstein...

(You knew they had to justify that title somehow, didn't you...?)

Adam and Karen go out searching for Frank. And thus we get essentially a travelogue, as they cruise around Puerto Rico, showing off the local landscape.  They must not be in too big a hurry to find him, since they are riding a moped.

 

Frank has indeed gone rogue, because he is randomly killing people for no reason at all.  Meanwhile the Martians have opted to land the spaceship on Earth. You have to see the spaceship to believe it.  It looks like something like a beach house shaped like a spaceship with what appear to be pool cues supporting it as it stands. 

 

 

This is so the Martians can better load up their captives.  They hit every beach and pool party in site to take as many women as possible.

One wonders where they are going to go when they've finished their mission.  The princess says that the planet is "unfit for further habitation" as a result of the nuclear war, but Dr. Nadir claims they are looking for women so that they "can repopulate our planet". If the planet is unfit for habitation what is the point of repopulating it?

Eventually Adam and Karen find Frank, and while Adam does some work on him he sends Karen back to base to call in the Army and destroy the spaceship.  But the army's weapons prove to be useless (probably because the pilots in the airplanes couldn't hit the broad side of a barn...) And Karen is captured.  She is put in a cage with Mull (the name of the titular "Space Monster" in an effort to get her to talk.

 

Ultimately it comes down to Frank battling Mull and saving the Earth (all in the space of the last 5 minutes of the movie). And Frank destroys the command console of the space ship and blows it up. And we end with a happy ending as Adam and Karen do another Puerto Rico travelogue.

One of the many titles that this movie has been shown under is Mars Invades Puerto Rico. Which accounts for the brief interludes that I refer to as travelogues (else how would you know where the movie was being filmed?) Along with such titles as Duel of the Space Monsters ( the UK title) and Operation San Juan (again a reference to the location of the film), it is clear the producers had no idea what to do with the film.

 Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster is one of those movies where the plot is intriguing enough, but the outcome that was presented leaves a little something to be desired.  It is entertaining on some levels, but the people involved seem a little less interested in presenting a feature film than they are in just getting something out the door to draw in the unsuspecting audience.  As a feature film it is worth a watch, but I seriously doubt that many of you would return for multiple viewings.  It does however have at least a smattering of devotees.

 

 

 

 

Mars Needs Women (1968): 

There is a message coming from space.  It is very simple. Mars Needs Women. But, as opposed to the previous film, at least initially the Martians aren't out to force women against their will to become Martian mothers. (although, at the beginning of the movie three women disappear from Earth and I bet none of them were asked first...) 

As mentioned above, the first three women just disappear, with no explanation.  One is playing tennis with a male companion The second is on a date with a man and disappears while he is off refreshing his supply of cigarettes at the cigarette machine (remember those things?) The third disappears while taking a shower.  

None of these first three women were asked if they wanted to be volunteers to help out the Martians.  But apparently something happened and the first "abductions" were not altogether successful.  So the Martians have been sending a message.  "Mars needs women".

 

The Martians contact the big wigs in the Armed Forces to tell them of their situation.  Apparently a genetic  problem has cropped up in recent years leading to a male to female ratio on Mars of 100:1. So the representative Martian, Dop (Tommy Kirk), tells the brass they are trying to recruit women to come back with them. Essentially implying the women would be volunteers.  (Except for those first three, however). But the bigwig in charge, Col. Page (Byron Lord), is not so diplomatic and tells Dop to go fly a kite. 

 

Thus, the five Martians land in Houston (Why Houston? Why not?), hide their spaceship and embark on a quest to take prospective women by force.  Well, not physical force, thank God, but they are not averse to using techniques that would still be frowned upon by polite society.  They are going to hypnotize the women.

Each of the 5 Martians goes out to seek his own prospect.  One goes to the local airport and starts stalking a stewardess. One of them goes to a local college football game (which appears to be a home game between the Houston Cougars and the Baylor Bears) and picks out the winner of the homecoming queen competition as his prospect.  

A third goes to (where else) a strip club. Hey, if Dr. Cortner in The Brain That Wouldn't Die could seek a prospective body for his fiancee at one, there must be something to the prospective venue. (And since this is a TV movie, and a TV movie from the late 60's to boot, it's a pretty tame strip club. But you gotta take what life deals ya...) 

 

Meanwhile, Dop is seeking out the brilliant (and conveniently, female, and good looking to boot) genetics scientist, Dr. Marjorie Bolen (Yvonne Craig), who just so happens to be speaking at a conference in town. Dop, as you might expect, and Dr. Bolen hit it off and it seems it might just be that he wouldn't have to hypnotize her; she might just come along willingly, for the scientific knowledge. 

 

 

Meanwhile, the Air Force brass is desperately trying to find out where the Martians have hidden their spaceship.  And before you can say "coincidentally advanced speculation" they determine that the best place for a spaceship from a colder planet would have to be an abandoned ice factory, they figure out, sure enough, that there is such a place in a deserted part of town. (OK, 70's Houston was about 50% smaller than it is today, but I doubt there was much of the town that could be that remote, even back then...)

So the Martians end up having to abandon their mission and escape the frying pan before it gets too hot. Although one really has to wonder... the 5 Martians are bringing back 1 woman apiece, so how that could really help the genetic problem back on Mars becomes a little problematic.  I think 5 more women would hardly make a sizable dent in the mathematical ratio, but never let it be said that logic was a primary factor in these kinds of movies.

Of course, if you were paying attention, at this point there were only 3 (or possibly 4, if Dr. Bolen willingly accompanied them)  But the Martian doctor who was on the crew was with Dop and I guess he didn't feel the urgency to find a prospective woman of his own. Either that, or he was jealous that Dop, who wasn't even a doctor on TV, much less in real life, got to get the human female doctor...

 

Compared to the previous movie, this film has less to give to the prospective viewer in terms of it's plot, and some of the actors seem like they were just there to pick up a paycheck. Bryon Lord as the Colonel is probably one of the worst.  He has a grimace pasted on his face throughout the film that just seems to be saying "Can you just say 'Cut' and get this damn scene over?"  Lord reminds me of the Colonel in A*P*E*, but even Alex Nicol had more emotional range...

Except for Craig, not many of the other players stand out either, and that includes Kirk, who was at least half-way decent in the aforementioned Old  Yeller, but somehow never seemed to find a niche in Hollywood after that film. 

Both of these movies are good enough to watch once, but except for that common theme of aliens needing women, neither would probably be good for much but a few laughs, especially the sexist dialogue that many of the men exhibit when around Dr. Bolen in Mars Needs Women. (And I say that despite the fact that I usually defend a movie that is a product of it's time. That sexist attitude was common in the 70's, so it shouldn't be a big issue if taken in context. But it seems to me they took it a little farther than necessary here.) 

Well folks, the Quiggy household needs women (or at least one woman), but I'm not about to abduct one just to fulfill the opening. Volunteers can apply, however.

Drive safely, folks. 

Quiggy 

 

In Search of a Wreck

 

 

 

 

This is my entry for The Titanic in Pop Culture Blogathon hosted by Taking Up Room

 

Once again, dear friends, we delve back into that classic TV series that always asked questions but never really gave us straight answers. Of course, I am talking about one of my favorite shows from the late '70s and early '80s, In Search Of, which delved into mysteries ranging from cryptids like Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster to pseudoscience like communicating with plants. But always, the most intriguing dealt with mysteries of history like "Who was Jack the Ripper?" (and. as usual, they never really made a concrete estimation as to the identity, just told us of the possible choices based on conjecture).

In Search Of...The Titanic  (Episode 13; Season 6: Original Air Date: Nov. 30, 1981)

In 1981, the series delved into some of the mysteries surrounding the wreck of the Titanic. Now, when this episode originally aired in 181, the exact location of the Titanic was still a mystery, so it is prudent to take that into consideration when watching this episode. After all, host Leonard Nimoy's first line after the credits roll is "The precise point in the northern Atlantic where the Titanic went down has never been satisfactorily located."

Here in 2025, we know that is no longer true. A lot of research had gone into the mystery of the Titanic's fate, and the circumstances surrounding various questions raised, and some of those questions have had more light shed on them since that episode.  It doesn't take away from the fascinating look that the series episode provides, however. I won't delve to much into the post-In Search Of episode history.  If you are of a mind, you can read this wikipedia article Wreck of the Titanic which gives you some updates. Instead, I will just give an overview of the episode.

There was a wealth of treasure on board, some of which was not even listed in the ship's manifest. It made it a treasure hunter's dream to find.  A man named Jack Grimm, as recently as the same year as the episode had made a search for it his priority, but even with the high tech gadgetry he could use, he still had no success.

The first class parts of the ship were some of the best, but only a few of the items that had been on board survived. Many of the men on board chose to stay on board and die like gentlemen while letting ladies and children take the lifeboats.  The captain, knowing of the existence of icebergs ahead had changed course to sail further south to avoid them, but we know he was not successful.

An interview with an expert explains what probably happened as the ship tried to avoid the iceberg.  He says that had the Titanic hit the iceberg head on, it would have taken some damage, but he beleved it would not have sunk. There is also an interview with a woman who had been a child when the event happened and tells about how her mother and father reacted to it.

 In the aftermath there was a huge investigation into the circumstances. People wondered why there were so few survivors.  And may searched for, as they often do, to find someone to blame.  The captain of the ship became the first casualty of this witch hunt. Also brought into question was the fact that there were fewer lifeboats than should have been on the ship. This is excused by the fact that the water tight compartments should have kept the Titanic from taking on as much damage as it did.

One of the more intriguing things discussed was that several warnings had been sent to the Titanic, via telegraph, but the telegraph operator may have been too preoccupied with sending messages from those on board and was unable to receive such warnings. In fact, as interviews with modern experts attest, all precautions had been taken, except for stopping the ship altogether, which was viewed as being a last ditch operation, due to the desire and need to get passengers to their destination.

Another attempt at scapegoating was cast on the captain of the Californian, the nearest vessel to the Titanic, for not coming to the rescue in time. It was suggested at the time that the captain COULD have seen the distress signals and failed to react, and in that the captain did receive censure.  But it is proposed in this episode that he may not have been as close to the Titanic as had been believed at the time, and may not have been close enough to see the signals.

 The Titanic has become an icon in the realm of hubris, the belief that nothing bad can come because it is impossible.  One of the most egregious results of the aftermath is the use of the Titanic as an example for some other events. I personally am offended by the fact that political cartoonists often use the Titanic as an illustration to get a political point across. Whether it be a Democrat, Republican, Conservative, Labour or what have you, it may be an easy way to get across a point, but it is profoundly disturbing to me to do so.  This despite the fact that I do not think I had any relatives on that ill-fated voyage.

Well, that's it for this time. No usual jokey sign off this time.  Just stay safe.

Quiggy 

Get it On, Bang a Gong

"From Hollywood! Almost live! It's THE GONG SHOW!"

Rejoice, dear hearts, rejoice! Strike up the Hallelujah Chorus! This is the blog entry you've been waiting for with bated breath (and some you need some mouthwash for that breath... seriously!)

You know, the 70's was an area that positively reeked of kitsch.  Then again, maybe that smell was just the leftover residue of some extremely aromatic extracurricular activities... Kitsch is the only way to describe this show.  It was like an amateur hour at Mabel's Bordello and BBQ Grill. I'm talking about that unique game show ("game show"?) called The Gong Show.  It WAS a game show, by the way, but only in the most absurd definition of the term.  

In case you kiddies, who were born after about 1975, never even heard of this show, I'll give you a brief description of it. The show was hosted by Chuck Barris, a producer of game shows whose credits included the creation of The Dating Game and The Newlywed Game.  One would not be too far off the beam to think that Barris and his "behind the scenes" gang might have been just returning from a trip to the top of the Big Rock Cocaine Mountain to allow this show to be foisted on the public.

What was the point of the show? Well, the show itself never really had any idea of it's point. Or, then again, maybe it did.  The essence of the show was a competition to get the outstanding prize of... get this... $516.32!  Even the prize was indicative of the kitschiness of the show. (There has been a rumor going around the internet that that was the going rate of a day's wages for extras in the Screen Actor's Guild, but in a book I am reading, Barris himself never really said where the inspiration came from, basically it was just an random number.)

To earn this phenomenal prize all you had to do was go on stage and (potentially) make a fool of yourself on national TV. Either that, or be (just barely, sometimes) of such good talent so as not to get "gonged"....

What's that you say?  What does "gonged" mean? Well, that my friends was the essence of the show.  Your primary judges of your talent were left up to three celebrity judges, three people who probably had no credentials to be judging talent in the first place....

I'm just kidding.  Of course, they had talent. They were active members in the film industry, weren't they?

There were many serious actors that served on the panel of judges. ("served"... sounds like they were forced into a jury duty, doesn't it...?)  Among those were:

 

Jamie Farr: 

One of the early frequent panelists, Farr had already made a name for himself as one of the stars of the T.V. show M.A.S.H. It was some of Farr's suggestions to Barris in the early days of it's production that helped transform the show from a wanna-be to a cultural phenomenon.

 

Jaye P. Morgan:

Another regular panelist, Morgan became more famous for her stint on The Gong Show than for any other endeavor she ever did.  She was also one of the catalysts for the show eventually getting cancelled (showing "nip" on uncensored broadcast TV can do that for you.

Arte Johnson:

Johnson's big claim to fame prior to this had been as a regular on Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In. But he was also a frequent voice actor in cartoons from the 70's.

Rip Taylor:

The over-the top persona who was synonymous with exuberance and flamboyance, what was a typical gay image in the 70's, Taylor always was one of my favorites, (whether today's crowd would consider him PC or not.)

 

With a rotating panel, one that included guest panelists who appeared irregularly, these panelists were the arbitrators of what qualified as "good" (or, possibly, just "good enough", as in some cases the winners were only barely better than anyone who got gonged on the same episode.) Sometimes the guest panelists just didn't, as they say, "get it" and would either bail on the show on their own, or in some cases, just not be invited back for a return engagement.

 

There were several contestants on the show who went on to greater fame in the real world.  One of them came on stage billed as as The Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo (which later shortened their name to just Oingo Boingo). This is one act you just HAVE to see as it encapsulates the bizarre essence of the show in just one 3 minute segment. 

 

But there were also some acts that just barely skated past censorship.  At least at first. One such act was billed as "Have You Got a Nickel?" (also known in later years as The Popsicle Twins.) To describe this act would not give it true justice,  Fortunately, there is a clip of their Gong Show performance on YouTube, so I don't have to...

 

They didn't win, of course, but in the aftermath of the initial broadcast, the censors, who had initially approved of the act, came down hard and censored the act in subsequent airings, including the delayed broadcast of the episode as it made it's way across the nation that first day.

In addition to the "actual" contestants, there was quite often, one of several backstage personnel who would appear on stage as "contestants". Not really contestants, they were basically just filler to extend the show to it's running time if the regular contestants part did not run long enough to make it a full length show. Although I have read elsewhere that they were already in the script beforehand, so maybe I'm wrong...

Favorite guest "contestants" would include:

The Unknown Comic:

Murray Langston, who would appear wearing a paper sack over his head with holes cut out for his eyes and mouth.

Usually introduced by Barris with something like this: "Here comes the prince of puns! The baron of boffo! The wizard of whoopee!  The Unknown Comic!" The Unknown Comic was the absolutely worst stand up comedian ever, telling stale old one-liners, and laughing at his own jokes. 

The genius of this lay in the fact that The Gong Show was a parody in and of itself. A stand-up act of this caliber would never have made it past the audition if it were for real.  But it works when you think of it in terms of it's residence in the Kingdom of Kitsch...

 

Larry and His Magic Trombone:

Larry Spencer, who would come on the stage with a trombone (or on occasion some other instrument) singing "Gonna play my trombone" to which the audience would respond "Whattya gonna do?" This would go on for about a minute of back and forth until Larry would actually try to follow through with his "threat".  And it would always end with the instrument falling apart. It wasn't always a trombone. On at least one occasion, he came out with a  xylophone, but the end result was pretty much the same.

And who can forget...

Gene Gene the Dancing Machine!: 

Gene Patton, who was a stagehand backstage for the show. Every so often would appear on stage in a green sweater and a flat cap and would come on stage doing a shuffle that, for all the world, now looks like a sped up version of Michael Jackson's moonwalk... (Maybe that's where M.J. got the inspiration?)  Gene Gene was a fan favorite.  

 

The show consistently ended with all the contestants appearing back on stage with Barris handing out a Golden Gong trophy (which to me looked like it would fall apart just as you put it in your mantle) and a check for the aforementioned $516.32 and a rain a confetti produced by a midget (played by Jerry Maren, one of the original munchkins in The Wizard of Oz.)

The wonderful appeal of the show was the fact that it never seemed to take itself too seriously. There were many instances where some of the acts that I saw were ones that I was screaming at the TV "Gong them! Please!", but not only did the act not get gonged, sometimes it actually won the day's contest...! Which just goes to show that even as much as I like to consider myself one of the top bloggers for pure cheese and quirkiness, there were others out there who, should they have ever decided to take this mantle, could have given me a run for my money.

Now, to be fair, The Gong Show had a special niche of devotees. And probably more than a few people who kept returning to it, thinking it just HAD to get better... (Those people, not only were they doomed to disappointment, bur were almost assuredly not getting invited to my house on New Year;s Eve.) Some of the naysayers of course were the critics, who just didn't understand the quirkiness.  I could list several such reviews, but one in particular sticks out for me: From Gary Deeb (whoever the hell that is):

"...Chuck Barris, a wretched character who has amassed a spectacular fortune by providing people with new ways to make jackasses of themselves."  _quoted from Gong This Book! by Adam Nedeff

(I guess Gary Dweeb must have dropped the "w" from his family name when he started writing...)

You are going to be searching the internet quite a while if you want to amass a marathon of this classic, since it is not available in even a "Best of" format on DVD. And, it is kind of hit or miss with what is available. But what is out there is a good encapsulation of what you would have gotten if you tuned in.  Most of my experience with The Gong Show was tuning in to reruns showing on afternoon TV. so I missed out on the fun first run.  (Damn rules about attending high school...) 

That' it for this reminiscence into what makes Quiggy tick. See you next time, folks.

Quiggy

Footnote: Much of the information on this post is as a result of a very informative book, Gong This Book: The Uncensored History of Television's Wildest Talent Show by Adam Nedeff.  Kudos to Nedeff for a very informative book, since YouTube only has a limited number of clips from the show, and no one has ever seen fit to release a collection of the show on DVD... :-(