Announcing the Hit The Road Blogathon

 

 

The essence of adventure! Whether the beginning of summer (in the northern hemisphere around Memorial Day) or the end of summer (again, in the northern hemisphere, around Labor Day), many start plans to make a road trip for vacations. (National Lampoon's Vacation)

But a road trip is not limited to just that.  There can be any variation of motivation to make a trip. It can be as simple as "I wanna go see Grandma and Grandpa, let's pile up in the car and HIT THE ROAD". (The Visit comes to mind, but there are others)

Or it can be a matter of necessity.  "We have to get this package to someone and we gotta get it there yesterday". (Think Smokey and the Bandit)

Or just a venue to give a background to a story involving improving relationships between two characters who may need to change their previous situations. (I'm thinking Over the Top here, which is more about father and estranged son becoming more intimate with each other than the actual road trip itself.) 

One of the things I remember from years past is that the best part of going somewhere is the process of getting there. Not everyone has the wanderlust like me. I sometimes get in the car with no goal other than just to go driving. But the need to accomplish a goal that involves moving from one point to another is something that just about everybody has at some point in their lives.

That is the essence of the Hit The Road Blogathon. For the purposes of this blogathon, any film, TV show or, even, book is fair game. I am encouraging you to look at your vast collections and write about any such motivational stories that involve getting from point A to point B. Hell, I'll even accept an entry of your own past if you have one that brings back fond memories (but a film or book would be better).

So here are the basic rules:

1. Pick a movie, TV show or book in which the main part of the story involves travel. And this is wide open. It can be by car (Green Book), motorcycle (Easy Rider) semi (Convoy), walking (Stand by Me) bus (The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert), or even spaceship (Battlestar Galactica). As long as the piece in question has at it's core a trip from point A to point B and the trials and tribulations involved in said trip, it's fair game. I will consider any movie acceptable as long as the trip itself is the core focus.

2. Let me know of your choice so I can add it to the roster. (Include the mode of transportation, if it's not obvious.) Multiple entries on the same movie are not out of the question, but, please, let's not have 100 people choosing one film.  Try to be a little varied.

3. Grab one of the following banners that my friend Rachel @ Hamlette's Soliloquy created for me to use and include it in your post. Thank you Rachel for these. (The movies in the banners, by the way, are Stand by Me, Green Mile, Easy Rider, and Convoy.)  

 

 

 

4. Post your entry sometime between Aug 28 and Sept 1 (Labor Day weekend here in the northern hemisphere) and notify me so I can include it in the wrap up post.

5. As always, have fun.

If you need any suggestions, just message me.  I have a raft of movie ideas that I can give you.

 

 

The Roster (so far):

Me:  Convoy (1978) and The Great Smokey Roadblock (1977) {big rig trucks}

Hamlette's Soliloquy: The Journey of Natty Gann (1985) {trains}

Realweegiemidget Reviews: The Love Boat (TV series) ep. featuring Ron Ely: (1980) {cruise ships}

Angelman's Place: Paper Moon (1973) {cars}

Taking Up Room: Out to Sea (1997) {cruise ships}

In The Good Old Days Of Classic Hollywood: The Long, Long Trailer (1953) {camper trailers}

Silver Screenings: China Seas (1935) {ships} 

18 Cinema Lane: She Wore a Yellow Ribbon (1949) {horses}

18 Cinema Lane: Santa Cruise (novel by Mary Higgins Clark) {cruise ships}

life and death in l.a. Vanishing Point (1971) {cars} 

life and death in l.a. Two-Lane Blacktop (1971) {cars}

Whimsically Classic Two for the Road (1967) {various transports}

Make Mine Film Noir Dangerous Crossing (1953) {ocean liner} 

 

 

Lust in Space

 

 

One thing you can be sure of: Men can't do without women. Even men from other planets realize that women are important. Not as viable members of the working society, if you take these two movies into consideration, however.  No, these two movies are firmly entrenched into the concept that a woman's basic usefulness begins and ends with their part in the continuation of the species. You know, "barefoot and pregnant". (Although having them look halfway decent in the process is a bonus...)

I think it's pretty interesting that there were at least two science-fiction movies that had this concept as their basis. (There might have been more, but these are the only two I've ever come across.) Not only that, but both have a theme that some unfortunate accident in the past has caused a situation where all of the women on the invader's planet (in both these cases, Mars) have virtually been eliminated, and the only solution available is to invade Earth and take some hostages back to Mars to continue the species.

Fortunately, for the women, these aren't the little green men normally associated with Mars (see Mars Attacks). They at least look nominally humanoid. (And in the case of the second feature, at least one of them looks like Tommy Kirk {Old Yeller}). 

 

 

 

 

 

Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster (1965):

In the never ending quest to find the most obscure and cheesy movies for The Midnite Drive-In, sometimes I find stuff that really is "way out". It is a given fact that the 50's and 60's were a hot bed of low budget movies, especially in the realm of the drive-in movie. With a few thousand dollars to spend and enough willing actors and actresses hard up enough for a role they would take on virtually anything, you could crank out a movie that was bound to secure a profit.  Maybe not enough for you to retire on, but at least enough to finance your next Schlock Theater entry.

One of the things that always got a draw in those halcyon days was the "invasion" entry, in which some aliens with less than altruistic intentions came to Earth, either to enslave the inhabitants, or just looking for a quick bite on the way home at the Human buffet table. Another thing that drew in the crowds was the next Monster of the Month club entry. Put "Dracula" (or "vampire"), "Terror", or "Creature" in the title and sit back and wait for the crowds.

So including the words "Frankenstein, "Space" and "Monster" in the title and you had the essence of the themes that would draw the necessary crowd to the local drive-in theater.  

It didn't matter that the titular "Frankenstein" had nothing to do with Mary Shelley or the numerous variations thereof in film.  And it didn't matter if the actual "Frankenstein" of the title didn't actually meet the "Space Monster" until the last 5 minutes of the film. At least you got, in the interim, some wacky antics by a midget Spock look alike, and a Martian princess (looking like a refugee from some ancient Egyptian sword and sandal epic) trying to do their own invasion of the Earth.

 

The only thing going for this movie is the bevy of bikini clad women the Martians are trying to capture. And those "Bikini-clad" women don't have to do a damn thing but just appear on screen... they don't even have to act. (It's probably a good bet that if they did, they would have acted rings around some of the actors who actually DID have lines in the film...)

 

The set up is this.  The Americans keep launching missiles into space, but unbeknownst to them, there is a spaceship out there shooting them down. But you can't keep down that good old American "can-do" spirit, so they keep banging away.  Their next goal is to send up a rocket piloted by Col. Frank Saunders ( Robert Reilly).  But the scientists do have one trick ace card up their sleeves.  Frank is not really human.  He's an android.  (The cat is almost let out of the bag when "Frank" seizes up during an interview with the press.  But since this press contingent is a couple of apples short of a pitcher of lemonade, they don't really catch on...)

So, back to the aliens.  The alien contingent is lead by a group of soldiers commanded by Princess Marcuzan (Marilyn Hanold, fresh from her gig as Playboy Playmate of the Month {June 1959}) and her adjutant (psychiatrist?) Dr. Nadir (Lou Cutell). The reason the aliens keep knocking down the rockets the Americans are firing is because they think they have been spotted and the Earth is trying to knock them out of orbit. Which would put a serious damper in their plans...

So just what are the plans?  It seems that there has been a serious war going on back on the home planet. A nuclear war.  With whom, it is never said. But the ultimate result of the war is that all the women on the planet have been killed. (That is one seriously selective nuclear bomb... And what comes to mind is... how was the princess able to escape this outcome?)

The advance alien contingent has come to Earth to attempt to kidnap some Earth women to take them back and "repopulate" the species. How? Well, for one thing every girl has to be "purified", which basically involves them being put on a conveyor belt and sent through some kind of alien CAT scan device, although I don't know what the end result does.   (When they are eventually rescued late in the movie it doesn't look like they've changed much).

 

One of the things that really make you scratch your head is, all these women that the Martians capture seem to be docilely submitting to their capture.  I don't quibble over them not actively trying to resist, after all the Martians have those Whamm-o ray guns that can disintegrate anybody they aim them at, but these women don't even raise up a vocal resistance... I mean, they don't even cry or whine over their situation.  Are the Martians really that much better an option than the Human men they have been around?

Meanwhile, back at the lab, the head scientist, Dr. Adam Steele (James Karen, the only actor you will probably even recognize), and his assistant, Karen (Nancy Marshall), try to track down Frank, who, because he is an android, is sending out signals that they can pick up that he is still alive. Although, since he has taken damage, they know he is not necessarily a stable android. 

 

Karen: What would he do?

Adam: I don't know. It would depend on what happened to him. If he'd had any bad experiences, he might react violently... out of his built-in preservation unit. Anything could happen.

Karen: What you're saying is he could turn into a...Frankenstein...

(You knew they had to justify that title somehow, didn't you...?)

Adam and Karen go out searching for Frank. And thus we get essentially a travelogue, as they cruise around Puerto Rico, showing off the local landscape.  They must not be in too big a hurry to find him, since they are riding a moped.

 

Frank has indeed gone rogue, because he is randomly killing people for no reason at all.  Meanwhile the Martians have opted to land the spaceship on Earth. You have to see the spaceship to believe it.  It looks like something like a beach house shaped like a spaceship with what appear to be pool cues supporting it as it stands. 

 

 

This is so the Martians can better load up their captives.  They hit every beach and pool party in site to take as many women as possible.

One wonders where they are going to go when they've finished their mission.  The princess says that the planet is "unfit for further habitation" as a result of the nuclear war, but Dr. Nadir claims they are looking for women so that they "can repopulate our planet". If the planet is unfit for habitation what is the point of repopulating it?

Eventually Adam and Karen find Frank, and while Adam does some work on him he sends Karen back to base to call in the Army and destroy the spaceship.  But the army's weapons prove to be useless (probably because the pilots in the airplanes couldn't hit the broad side of a barn...) And Karen is captured.  She is put in a cage with Mull (the name of the titular "Space Monster" in an effort to get her to talk.

 

Ultimately it comes down to Frank battling Mull and saving the Earth (all in the space of the last 5 minutes of the movie). And Frank destroys the command console of the space ship and blows it up. And we end with a happy ending as Adam and Karen do another Puerto Rico travelogue.

One of the many titles that this movie has been shown under is Mars Invades Puerto Rico. Which accounts for the brief interludes that I refer to as travelogues (else how would you know where the movie was being filmed?) Along with such titles as Duel of the Space Monsters ( the UK title) and Operation San Juan (again a reference to the location of the film), it is clear the producers had no idea what to do with the film.

 Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster is one of those movies where the plot is intriguing enough, but the outcome that was presented leaves a little something to be desired.  It is entertaining on some levels, but the people involved seem a little less interested in presenting a feature film than they are in just getting something out the door to draw in the unsuspecting audience.  As a feature film it is worth a watch, but I seriously doubt that many of you would return for multiple viewings.  It does however have at least a smattering of devotees.

 

 

 

 

Mars Needs Women (1968): 

There is a message coming from space.  It is very simple. Mars Needs Women. But, as opposed to the previous film, at least initially the Martians aren't out to force women against their will to become Martian mothers. (although, at the beginning of the movie three women disappear from Earth and I bet none of them were asked first...) 

As mentioned above, the first three women just disappear, with no explanation.  One is playing tennis with a male companion The second is on a date with a man and disappears while he is off refreshing his supply of cigarettes at the cigarette machine (remember those things?) The third disappears while taking a shower.  

None of these first three women were asked if they wanted to be volunteers to help out the Martians.  But apparently something happened and the first "abductions" were not altogether successful.  So the Martians have been sending a message.  "Mars needs women".

 

The Martians contact the big wigs in the Armed Forces to tell them of their situation.  Apparently a genetic  problem has cropped up in recent years leading to a male to female ratio on Mars of 100:1. So the representative Martian, Dop (Tommy Kirk), tells the brass they are trying to recruit women to come back with them. Essentially implying the women would be volunteers.  (Except for those first three, however). But the bigwig in charge, Col. Page (Byron Lord), is not so diplomatic and tells Dop to go fly a kite. 

 

Thus, the five Martians land in Houston (Why Houston? Why not?), hide their spaceship and embark on a quest to take prospective women by force.  Well, not physical force, thank God, but they are not averse to using techniques that would still be frowned upon by polite society.  They are going to hypnotize the women.

Each of the 5 Martians goes out to seek his own prospect.  One goes to the local airport and starts stalking a stewardess. One of them goes to a local college football game (which appears to be a home game between the Houston Cougars and the Baylor Bears) and picks out the winner of the homecoming queen competition as his prospect.  

A third goes to (where else) a strip club. Hey, if Dr. Cortner in The Brain That Wouldn't Die could seek a prospective body for his fiancee at one, there must be something to the prospective venue. (And since this is a TV movie, and a TV movie from the late 60's to boot, it's a pretty tame strip club. But you gotta take what life deals ya...) 

 

Meanwhile, Dop is seeking out the brilliant (and conveniently, female, and good looking to boot) genetics scientist, Dr. Marjorie Bolen (Yvonne Craig), who just so happens to be speaking at a conference in town. Dop, as you might expect, and Dr. Bolen hit it off and it seems it might just be that he wouldn't have to hypnotize her; she might just come along willingly, for the scientific knowledge. 

 

 

Meanwhile, the Air Force brass is desperately trying to find out where the Martians have hidden their spaceship.  And before you can say "coincidentally advanced speculation" they determine that the best place for a spaceship from a colder planet would have to be an abandoned ice factory, they figure out, sure enough, that there is such a place in a deserted part of town. (OK, 70's Houston was about 50% smaller than it is today, but I doubt there was much of the town that could be that remote, even back then...)

So the Martians end up having to abandon their mission and escape the frying pan before it gets too hot. Although one really has to wonder... the 5 Martians are bringing back 1 woman apiece, so how that could really help the genetic problem back on Mars becomes a little problematic.  I think 5 more women would hardly make a sizable dent in the mathematical ratio, but never let it be said that logic was a primary factor in these kinds of movies.

Of course, if you were paying attention, at this point there were only 3 (or possibly 4, if Dr. Bolen willingly accompanied them)  But the Martian doctor who was on the crew was with Dop and I guess he didn't feel the urgency to find a prospective woman of his own. Either that, or he was jealous that Dop, who wasn't even a doctor on TV, much less in real life, got to get the human female doctor...

 

Compared to the previous movie, this film has less to give to the prospective viewer in terms of it's plot, and some of the actors seem like they were just there to pick up a paycheck. Bryon Lord as the Colonel is probably one of the worst.  He has a grimace pasted on his face throughout the film that just seems to be saying "Can you just say 'Cut' and get this damn scene over?"  Lord reminds me of the Colonel in A*P*E*, but even Alex Nicol had more emotional range...

Except for Craig, not many of the other players stand out either, and that includes Kirk, who was at least half-way decent in the aforementioned Old  Yeller, but somehow never seemed to find a niche in Hollywood after that film. 

Both of these movies are good enough to watch once, but except for that common theme of aliens needing women, neither would probably be good for much but a few laughs, especially the sexist dialogue that many of the men exhibit when around Dr. Bolen in Mars Needs Women. (And I say that despite the fact that I usually defend a movie that is a product of it's time. That sexist attitude was common in the 70's, so it shouldn't be a big issue if taken in context. But it seems to me they took it a little farther than necessary here.) 

Well folks, the Quiggy household needs women (or at least one woman), but I'm not about to abduct one just to fulfill the opening. Volunteers can apply, however.

Drive safely, folks. 

Quiggy 

 

In Search of a Wreck

 

 

 

 

This is my entry for The Titanic in Pop Culture Blogathon hosted by Taking Up Room

 

Once again, dear friends, we delve back into that classic TV series that always asked questions but never really gave us straight answers. Of course, I am talking about one of my favorite shows from the late '70s and early '80s, In Search Of, which delved into mysteries ranging from cryptids like Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster to pseudoscience like communicating with plants. But always, the most intriguing dealt with mysteries of history like "Who was Jack the Ripper?" (and. as usual, they never really made a concrete estimation as to the identity, just told us of the possible choices based on conjecture).

In Search Of...The Titanic  (Episode 13; Season 6: Original Air Date: Nov. 30, 1981)

In 1981, the series delved into some of the mysteries surrounding the wreck of the Titanic. Now, when this episode originally aired in 181, the exact location of the Titanic was still a mystery, so it is prudent to take that into consideration when watching this episode. After all, host Leonard Nimoy's first line after the credits roll is "The precise point in the northern Atlantic where the Titanic went down has never been satisfactorily located."

Here in 2025, we know that is no longer true. A lot of research had gone into the mystery of the Titanic's fate, and the circumstances surrounding various questions raised, and some of those questions have had more light shed on them since that episode.  It doesn't take away from the fascinating look that the series episode provides, however. I won't delve to much into the post-In Search Of episode history.  If you are of a mind, you can read this wikipedia article Wreck of the Titanic which gives you some updates. Instead, I will just give an overview of the episode.

There was a wealth of treasure on board, some of which was not even listed in the ship's manifest. It made it a treasure hunter's dream to find.  A man named Jack Grimm, as recently as the same year as the episode had made a search for it his priority, but even with the high tech gadgetry he could use, he still had no success.

The first class parts of the ship were some of the best, but only a few of the items that had been on board survived. Many of the men on board chose to stay on board and die like gentlemen while letting ladies and children take the lifeboats.  The captain, knowing of the existence of icebergs ahead had changed course to sail further south to avoid them, but we know he was not successful.

An interview with an expert explains what probably happened as the ship tried to avoid the iceberg.  He says that had the Titanic hit the iceberg head on, it would have taken some damage, but he beleved it would not have sunk. There is also an interview with a woman who had been a child when the event happened and tells about how her mother and father reacted to it.

 In the aftermath there was a huge investigation into the circumstances. People wondered why there were so few survivors.  And may searched for, as they often do, to find someone to blame.  The captain of the ship became the first casualty of this witch hunt. Also brought into question was the fact that there were fewer lifeboats than should have been on the ship. This is excused by the fact that the water tight compartments should have kept the Titanic from taking on as much damage as it did.

One of the more intriguing things discussed was that several warnings had been sent to the Titanic, via telegraph, but the telegraph operator may have been too preoccupied with sending messages from those on board and was unable to receive such warnings. In fact, as interviews with modern experts attest, all precautions had been taken, except for stopping the ship altogether, which was viewed as being a last ditch operation, due to the desire and need to get passengers to their destination.

Another attempt at scapegoating was cast on the captain of the Californian, the nearest vessel to the Titanic, for not coming to the rescue in time. It was suggested at the time that the captain COULD have seen the distress signals and failed to react, and in that the captain did receive censure.  But it is proposed in this episode that he may not have been as close to the Titanic as had been believed at the time, and may not have been close enough to see the signals.

 The Titanic has become an icon in the realm of hubris, the belief that nothing bad can come because it is impossible.  One of the most egregious results of the aftermath is the use of the Titanic as an example for some other events. I personally am offended by the fact that political cartoonists often use the Titanic as an illustration to get a political point across. Whether it be a Democrat, Republican, Conservative, Labour or what have you, it may be an easy way to get across a point, but it is profoundly disturbing to me to do so.  This despite the fact that I do not think I had any relatives on that ill-fated voyage.

Well, that's it for this time. No usual jokey sign off this time.  Just stay safe.

Quiggy 

Get it On, Bang a Gong

"From Hollywood! Almost live! It's THE GONG SHOW!"

Rejoice, dear hearts, rejoice! Strike up the Hallelujah Chorus! This is the blog entry you've been waiting for with bated breath (and some you need some mouthwash for that breath... seriously!)

You know, the 70's was an area that positively reeked of kitsch.  Then again, maybe that smell was just the leftover residue of some extremely aromatic extracurricular activities... Kitsch is the only way to describe this show.  It was like an amateur hour at Mabel's Bordello and BBQ Grill. I'm talking about that unique game show ("game show"?) called The Gong Show.  It WAS a game show, by the way, but only in the most absurd definition of the term.  

In case you kiddies, who were born after about 1975, never even heard of this show, I'll give you a brief description of it. The show was hosted by Chuck Barris, a producer of game shows whose credits included the creation of The Dating Game and The Newlywed Game.  One would not be too far off the beam to think that Barris and his "behind the scenes" gang might have been just returning from a trip to the top of the Big Rock Cocaine Mountain to allow this show to be foisted on the public.

What was the point of the show? Well, the show itself never really had any idea of it's point. Or, then again, maybe it did.  The essence of the show was a competition to get the outstanding prize of... get this... $516.32!  Even the prize was indicative of the kitschiness of the show. (There has been a rumor going around the internet that that was the going rate of a day's wages for extras in the Screen Actor's Guild, but in a book I am reading, Barris himself never really said where the inspiration came from, basically it was just an random number.)

To earn this phenomenal prize all you had to do was go on stage and (potentially) make a fool of yourself on national TV. Either that, or be (just barely, sometimes) of such good talent so as not to get "gonged"....

What's that you say?  What does "gonged" mean? Well, that my friends was the essence of the show.  Your primary judges of your talent were left up to three celebrity judges, three people who probably had no credentials to be judging talent in the first place....

I'm just kidding.  Of course, they had talent. They were active members in the film industry, weren't they?

There were many serious actors that served on the panel of judges. ("served"... sounds like they were forced into a jury duty, doesn't it...?)  Among those were:

 

Jamie Farr: 

One of the early frequent panelists, Farr had already made a name for himself as one of the stars of the T.V. show M.A.S.H. It was some of Farr's suggestions to Barris in the early days of it's production that helped transform the show from a wanna-be to a cultural phenomenon.

 

Jaye P. Morgan:

Another regular panelist, Morgan became more famous for her stint on The Gong Show than for any other endeavor she ever did.  She was also one of the catalysts for the show eventually getting cancelled (showing "nip" on uncensored broadcast TV can do that for you).

Arte Johnson:

Johnson's big claim to fame prior to this had been as a regular on Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In. But he was also a frequent voice actor in cartoons from the 70's.

Rip Taylor:

The over-the top persona who was synonymous with exuberance and flamboyance, what was a typical gay image in the 70's, Taylor always was one of my favorites, (whether today's crowd would consider him PC or not).

 

With a rotating panel, one that included guest panelists who appeared irregularly, these panelists were the arbitrators of what qualified as "good" (or, possibly, just "good enough", as in some cases the winners were only barely better than anyone who got gonged on the same episode). Sometimes the guest panelists just didn't, as they say, "get it" and would either bail on the show on their own, or in some cases, just not be invited back for a return engagement.

 

There were several contestants on the show who went on to greater fame in the real world.  One of them came on stage billed as as The Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo (which later shortened their name to just Oingo Boingo). This is one act you just HAVE to see as it encapsulates the bizarre essence of the show in just one 3 minute segment. 

 

But there were also some acts that just barely skated past censorship.  At least at first. One such act was billed as "Have You Got a Nickel?" (also known, in later years, as The Popsicle Twins). To describe this act would not give it true justice,  Fortunately, there is a clip of their Gong Show performance on YouTube, so I don't have to...

 

They didn't win, of course, but in the aftermath of the initial broadcast, the censors, who had initially approved of the act, came down hard and censored the act in subsequent airings, including the delayed broadcast of the episode as it made it's way across the nation that first day.

In addition to the "actual" contestants, there was quite often, one of several backstage personnel who would appear on stage as "contestants". Not really contestants, they were basically just filler to extend the show to it's running time if the regular contestants part did not run long enough to make it a full length show. Although I have read elsewhere that they were already in the script beforehand, so maybe I'm wrong...

Favorite guest "contestants" would include:

The Unknown Comic:

Murray Langston, who would appear wearing a paper sack over his head with holes cut out for his eyes and mouth.

Usually introduced by Barris with something like this: "Here comes the prince of puns! The baron of boffo! The wizard of whoopee!  The Unknown Comic!" The Unknown Comic was the absolutely worst stand up comedian ever, telling stale old one-liners, and laughing at his own jokes. 

The genius of this lay in the fact that The Gong Show was a parody in and of itself. A stand-up act of this caliber would never have made it past the audition if it were for real.  But it works when you think of it in terms of it's residence in the Kingdom of Kitsch...

 

Larry and His Magic Trombone:

Larry Spencer, who would come on the stage with a trombone (or on occasion some other instrument) singing "Gonna play my trombone" to which the audience would respond "Whattya gonna do?" This would go on for about a minute of back and forth until Larry would actually try to follow through with his "threat".  And it would always end with the instrument falling apart. It wasn't always a trombone. On at least one occasion, he came out with a  xylophone, but the end result was pretty much the same.

And who can forget...

Gene Gene the Dancing Machine!: 

Gene Patton, who was a stagehand backstage for the show. Every so often would appear on stage in a green sweater and a flat cap and would come on stage doing a shuffle that, for all the world, now looks like a sped up version of Michael Jackson's moonwalk... (Maybe that's where M.J. got the inspiration?)  Gene Gene was a fan favorite.  

 

The show consistently ended with all the contestants appearing back on stage with Barris handing out a Golden Gong trophy (which to me looked like it would fall apart just as you put it in your mantle) and a check for the aforementioned $516.32 and a rain a confetti produced by a midget (played by Jerry Maren, one of the original munchkins in The Wizard of Oz).

The wonderful appeal of the show was the fact that it never seemed to take itself too seriously. There were many instances where some of the acts that I saw were ones that I was screaming at the TV "Gong them! Please!", but not only did the act not get gonged, sometimes it actually won the day's contest...! Which just goes to show that even as much as I like to consider myself one of the top bloggers for pure cheese and quirkiness, there were others out there who, should they have ever decided to take this mantle, could have given me a run for my money.

Now, to be fair, The Gong Show had a special niche of devotees. And probably more than a few people who kept returning to it, thinking it just HAD to get better... (Those people, not only were they doomed to disappointment, bur were almost assuredly not getting invited to my house on New Year;s Eve). Some of the naysayers of course were the critics, who just didn't understand the quirkiness.  I could list several such reviews, but one in particular sticks out for me: From Gary Deeb (whoever the hell that is):

"...Chuck Barris, a wretched character who has amassed a spectacular fortune by providing people with new ways to make jackasses of themselves."  _quoted from Gong This Book! by Adam Nedeff

(I guess Gary Dweeb must have dropped the "w" from his family name when he started writing...)

You are going to be searching the internet quite a while if you want to amass a marathon of this classic, since it is not available in even a "Best of" format on DVD. And, it is kind of hit or miss with what is available. But what is out there is a good encapsulation of what you would have gotten if you tuned in.  Most of my experience with The Gong Show was tuning in to reruns showing on afternoon TV. so I missed out on the fun first run.  (Damn rules about attending high school...) 

That' it for this reminiscence into what makes Quiggy tick. See you next time, folks.

Quiggy

Footnote: Much of the information on this post is as a result of a very informative book, Gong This Book: The Uncensored History of Television's Wildest Talent Show by Adam Nedeff.  Kudos to Nedeff for a very informative book, since YouTube only has a limited number of clips from the show, and no one has ever seen fit to release a collection of the show on DVD... :-( 

An (Uninvited) Q & A Session

 

I love these forays into musings on questionnaires provided by others.  One of the ubiquitous such questionnaires is The Sunshine Blogger Award, in which one blogger will answer questions posed by a separate blogger who nominated them for the award.  Then said second blogger will create their own set of questions and nominate several more fellow bloggers for the award.  Essentially it's kind of like a chain letter (without having to send the original blogger a dollar...)  My friend Rachel @ Hamlette's Soliloquy was nominated for the award, and. although she didn't peg me for a nomination, I thought the questions intriguing enough to give my own answers as if she had. After all, when have I ever let anything like normalcy govern my actions?  No rules...

So the questions are:

1. What classic movie have you seen recently?

"Classic"?  Does this count?  Saturday I saw the 41st Anniversary release of This is Spinal Tap.  I didn't get a chance to see it in the theater, but I've watched it at least 1/2 a dozen times on DVD. An iconic movie, worth the price, especially in surround sound. 

2. What modern movie have you seen recently?

Actually haven't seen a new release since Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny. Don't get to the theater very often these days. 

3. What movie that was made in your birth year that you really enjoy?

The Guns of Navarone and The Hustler are fantastic.  One that is still due to appear at The Midnite Drive-In, and one that you may never have heard of, however, is Atlantis: The Lost Continent.

4. What's a movie you wish you had seen much earlier than you did?

I'm ashamed to admit it but I didn't see Big Trouble in Little China in the theater. Which is amazing because I loved John Carpenter movies by then. And it is now my second favorite movie.

5. What's a movie you are hoping to watch soon?

I am greatly anticipating both The Running Man (which I have heard is more faithful to it's original source) and The Long Walk. Both based on Stephen King books he wrote as "Richard Bachman".

6. What's a movie you've been wanting to see for years, but still haven't?

Too many to name. But there is a list of movies they used clips from in It Came From Hollywood, a comedic pseudo-documentary that covered some really cheesy flicks from the 50's and 60's.

7. Have you ever watched the same movie more than once in a theater?

I saw An American Werewolf in London once a week every week it was out when it was released.

8. What's a movie that needs a sequel but never got one?

They teased a sequel at the end of The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension, but it never got made.  There was a novel sequel a few years back, which could have been a good one.

9/ How do you watch most movies? (Streaming? DVD? Theater, TV?)

Mostly DVD.  Most of the movies I like were made well before I was old enough to go to the theater, and rarely are shown on TV.

10. Have you ever changed your mind and started liking an actor/actress you formerly disliked?

In a word, NO. I absolutely refuse to watch a movie with that whackadoodle Tom Cruise. And the Kevin Costner movies I DO like have some other actor that make them worth watching.

11. Have you ever visited a filming location? (Share pictures if you can.)

The 1988 remake of D.O.A.  had scenes which were filmed at the university I attended. But I didn't go there to see them.  As a matter of fact I didn't even know parts of it were filmed there until I saw it in the theater. In one scene the main characters are in a girl's dormitory, which in reality was the library and another had a scene at a church, which was the Theater Center.

  

Library/ Girl's dorm

Church/ Theater Center

 

Since I wasn't nominated for the award, I will forgo the questions and the nominations.  (No rules... remember?)

Quiggy 

Celebrating World UFO Day

 

 Well, folks, today is World UFO Day! It's a day when aficionados get together and "keep watching the skies" for those mostly elusive visitors from alien worlds. World UFO Day is actually celebrated on two different days, depending on the individual (and probably there are some that celebrate it BOTH days...)

June 24 is recognized by some because that was the day, in 1947, that the first modern sighting of a UFO was recorded, when Kenneth Arnold saw flying saucers on a routine flight near Mt. Rainier in the state of Washington. But the official date, July 2 of that same year, is the one that was latched onto to be designated as the official World UFO Day, because that is supposedly when the famed UFO crash occurred near Roswell, N.M. 

Surprisingly (at least it's surprising to me),  World UFO Day didn't become an officially recognized day until 2001. World UFO Day has it's goals (as stated in the link above) "to raise awareness of the undoubted existence of UFOs, and to encourage governments to declassify their files on UFO sightings". Despite official government insistence that pretty much ALL UFO sightings can be explained by naturally occurring events on planet Earth (like "swamp gas", with or without the presence of an actual swamp...), there are a certain segment of people who are convinced the government is hiding the truth.

(BTW: "UFO" stands for "Unidentified Flying Object", the key word being unidentified. So in true definition of the term, a UFO is not necessarily a craft from some other world piloted by aliens. So: a reminiscence from your blogger: In 1997, I had walked down to the local convenience store to get some stuff and on the trip back I observed something in the sky.  It looked to me like three flat balloons bunched together. This thing moved across the sky in a straight line, not bobbing like you would expect if they were actually balloons. It was in broad daylight, not at night. I never found out what it actually was. So in true definition, at least as far as I am concerned, that was an unidentified flying object. Was it piloted by aliens? I doubt it, but since I still don't know what the hell I saw, I can still say I once saw a UFO.)

 

 

 

The Astounding She-Monster (1958): 

In the realm of movies which The Midnite Drive-In has presented to you, the reader, we have had a few big budget features, ones in which the special effects sometimes overwhelm the plot, but are exceedingly well manufactured and entertaining.  There have also been quite a few low budget films, some of which the special effects help to, just barely, keep the movie afloat.

It is a rarity that we get what I would call a no-budget film.  And even rarer that the film in question has, not only, virtually no special effects, but is also saddled with a plot that is so riddled with holes that it virtually indistinguishable from a hunk of Swiss cheese.  This is one of them.  I used to think that no movie could possibly be as bad as Teenage Zombies.

I was wrong.

(OK, so it took 9 years for me to find a movie as bad as Teenage Zombies... Some of you who have been following along this blog since the start may have a different opinion...) 

This movie is part film noir, which I normally like, coupled with an attempt at horror, with a bit of science fiction to add to the mix.  And none it of gels into anything remotely intelligent. 

The movie starts off on a bad footing, with a narration straight out of an Ed Wood movie. And, surprisingly enough, not only was Ed Wood an unofficial consultant, but the director, Ronnie Ashcroft, was an assistant director on one of Woods' films (that being Night of the Ghouls). The narrator starts out by trying to attract the audience into the plot with a series of statements that are undoubtedly the most obvious points he could make. I wouldn't have been surprised if I found out that this was his only credit, but as it turns out, Scott Douglas, the narrator, did have 28 films to his credit...

The basic beginning is the kidnapping of a wealthy socialite, Margaret (Marilyn Harvey), who is kidnapped by a gang of inept would be kidnappers. This crew of bozos are Nat (Kenne Duncan) and Brad (Ewing Brown), along with an alcoholic gun moll, Esther (Jeanne Tatum). The four race along the road, not knowing that nearby an object has crash landed.  

 

A geologist, Dick (Robert Clarke), witnesses the object crash, although he initially thinks it's a meteor. (Clarke is the only saving grace in this film.  Although he admittedly is not much better than the rest, he had some better roles in his career, including several AIP films that I have watched over the years. Beyond the Time Barrier is the only one that has appeared on The Midnite Drive-In, but there are a few others worth checking out.)  

 

Brad, who is driving the car, sees a figure, the alien that came out of the crashed object, on the side of the road and ends up wrecking the car. When asked what his problem is by Nat, Brad claims he saw a naked woman on the side of the road. (She's not naked, BTW, but the glow she gives off might be distracting enough...)

 

The alien, our titular She-Monster (Shirley Kilpatrick), disappears into the woods before the others can see her.  The four end up on foot where, lo and behold, they come across the cabin where Dick is doing his research. They decide to try to hijack Dick's Jeep, but unfortunately for them, the headlights aren't working. And since the daylight filming location outside is actually posing as night, it is revealed it would be dangerous to try to navigate the mountain road in the dark. 

(One of my nitpicks in these kinds of movies is when the budget is so low that they have to use pretty substandard filming techniques to convince you it is night time, when it is obviously being filmed in the day time.  It's obvious many times in this film.  Witness the light shadows on some of the characters faces when they are outside, supposedly in the dark...)

Brad tries to fix the broken headlight and sees the alien creature again, so Nat, who is obviously the brains of the outfit (which is stretching the term "brains"...), sends Brad out to look for it.  He encounters the alien again and tries to shoot it, but the bullets have no effect.  Then the she-monster touches him and he dies. Meanwhile, back at the cabin, things are getting a little out of hand.  Nat eventually goes out to look for Brad leaving the alcoholic gun moll with a gun to watch over the hostages. (Not exactly the most intelligent thing, given her predilection for the bottle...)

 

Nat finds Brad, and also finds the alien. Nat, too, tries to shoot her to no effect, but manages to escape.

At this point there is not much really exciting going on in this film so I will fast forward a bit.  Nat eventually runs into the she-monster again, and maneuvers enough to send her flying off a cliff (in one of the least realistic falls I ever saw in a movie...)  Supposedly, the alien is dead, but guess what?  She's not.

Eventually the she-monster kills both Nat and Esther, leaving our two hostages free, but the she-monster is still looking to be on a rampage.  Dick figures out if he makes a concoction of chemicals he conveniently has on hand in his cabin he can kill it. Which he does.

 

But the final denouement is yet to be revealed.  It seems that the alien was an emissary from a federation of planets to try to get Earth to become a peaceful planet and join said federation.  (Apparently the only reason she killed the others was because they started it, by trying to kill HER...)

As much as I like AIP movies in general, this is definitely one to avoid. Even if the alien girl had actually really been naked, it couldn't have improved this movie enough for me to recommend it.  Outside of Robert Clarke and Kenne Duncan, the cast of the film had very limited success in the film industry and it is readily apparent why. Although it is probably unfair to disparage Shirley Kilpatrick for her role, since she has no lines and only exists to be the killing monster in the film. But on that note, she only had 3 movie credits and the other two were listed as "uncredited", so maybe Hollywood knows something I don't... But cheer up.  The second feature tonight is substantially better than this one.  Read on.  

 

 

Invasion of the Saucer Men (1957):

Sometimes you get something that just blows you away. When I was 7 or 8 years old, I would be, like, "I wanna be a policeman when I grow up".  A few days later I might be, like, "I wanna be a fireman when I grow up". Not too long after that I might wanna be anything from a doctor to a lawyer to a garbage can man.

This movie seems to have no idea what it wants to be when it grows up.  It starts out kind of like a happy family fantasy movie, because the credits feature a book with pages turning presenting the credits and a somewhat upbeat happy tune.  I was reminded of nothing so much as a kind of a slightly spookier version of the opening music to It's a Wonderful Life. The film itself opens with the narrator (also appearing on screen as Artie) describing some events that happened to him recently in a town called, get this, Hicksburg. (Really! So from the beginning, you think, is this going to be a comedy?)

It seems that way starting out anyway.  A brief beginning introduces us to kindly gentleman named Farmer Larkin (Raymnd Hatton).  "Kindly" meaning a crotchety old geezer who mumbles and grumbles about those "consarn kids" who keep coming on his property to use a secluded spot as a Lover's Lane. Not to mention getting his prized bulls and cows drunk on their beer. (Apparently in Hicksburg even underage high school  kids can get their hands on beer...)

 

Segue to a diner where our narrator, Artie (Lyn Osborn) and his pal Joe (Frank Gorshin) are contemplating on what to do for fun. Artie and Joe are apparently hucksters who are in town just to make a few bucks. (Why in a backwoods town like Hicksburg probably says more about their intelligence than I probably could...) 

 

Artie is all for going back to the room where they are staying but Joe wants to keep up the quest for fun. And Joe is apparently not drunk enough to call it a night. (I should mention that Joe constantly pull drags off a bottle he keeps in his pocket, but Artie is laying off the sauce. Remember that, because it's important.)  Joe, while out driving, sees a flying saucer land in a nearby field.  (So now it's a sci-fi movie...) Ever looking for the play that will rake in the bucks, he heads back to wake up Artie.  But Artie thinks Joe has had a little too much to drink and thinks Joe is just seeing things. So Joe goes back out to get more proof for his friend.

Meanwhile, our heroes, the kids, Johnny (Stephen Terrell) and Joan (Gloria Castillo) have made their way to Lover's Lane and are making out like the rest of the town's libidinous teenagers.  But Farmer Larkin's bull comes along and ruins the mood. And what with Johnny having seen the lights from the saucer and deciding to leave with Joan, they travel down the back roads (without headlights) and run over one of the aliens who just landed.  

 

The alien is killed, or at least most of it...  It's hand separates from the dead body and manages to puncture Johnny's tire, leaving the kids on foot.  They go to Farmer Larkin's house, but since Larkin isn't home, they just walk in and use his phone to call the police.  But the police think it's a joke and hang up on them. 

 

Meanwhile, Joe arrives and finds the dead alien, but while he is investigating, the alien's pals show up and inject him with some poison from their claws. (Which turns out to be pure everyday alcohol, BTW). They take their alien pal's body and leave Joe's body in front of Johnny's car to make it seem like the kids actually ran over Joe instead of an alien. (This story was originally inspired by a short story called "The Cosmic Frame" {as in "frame-up"} so the aliens are basically trying to frame Johnny for the death of Joe.) 

 

Meanwhile, the bumbling excuse for the local army has heard of the rumor of a landing flying saucer and they head out to investigate.  They find the saucer, of course, but it is apparently unoccupied. (BTW, we only see four of these aliens, and all of them are out on the prowl, but even the small size of those aliens makes this saucer look like it is not quite proportionate enough to have transported them.) 

 

The bumbling army guys try everything to get some response from the ship, including firing guns at it, but the bullets just bounce off.  So these mental giants think the next best solution is to use an acetylene torch. Which blows the damn ship up.

 

Meanwhile the kids have (finally) convinced the cops to show, but they don't find a dead alien only a dead Joe, and haul Johnny and Joan in for involuntary manslaughter. But the cops are just as bumbling as the army guys because they leave the kids alone. And of course, the kids escape, because after all, they just HAVE to prove their alien story is not just a bunch of hooey.  We finally see these aliens in the bushes and boy are they creepy.. (So now it's a horror movie...) The severed hand from the first alien ends up in the car with the two teens.

 

The kids round up Artie and convince him to come help them find the aliens. And every time Artie gets involved in this movie, it gets a little comical. (so now it's a comedy, again...). The kids and Artie eventually find out that the aliens are destroyed by bright lights. (Is there no sun on this alien planet...?) So they round up the rest of the gang at Lover's Lane (all this happens in one night...) and take them to the place where the aliens are and surround them.  And turn on their headlights. And poof! no more aliens.  (It was a great plan by the aliens, and it would have worked, if it hadn't been for those meddling kids...)

 

And we eventually learn that the aliens have pure 200% pure ethyl alcohol in those claws. So the police determine that Joe died of acute alcohol blood poisoning, and was dead before Johnny even hit him with the car.  (Which, of course, we know he didn't actually hit him in the first place, but remember, only the kids have actually seen any aliens, not counting the flying saucer the Keystone Kops Army people blew up....)  

So just exactly why are the aliens here in the first place? Surely they aren't the vanguard of an alien invasion force (despite the title of the movie...) Personally I think they are just on a joy ride and decided to check out this out of the way planet to find out what mischief they can get into. Other than setting Johnny up for the frame job, they don't seem too intent on an invasion.

As always, I point out that these movies aren't exactly Oscar material (did you expect that, with a title like Invasion of the Saucer Men...?) I kind of liked this movie over all, mostly because of the (unintentionally) comedic parts. The actual intentional comedic parts are pretty cheesy, especially Artie and the unfortunate Joe. But there are so many parts of this film that are unintentionally funny that they probably sailed right past the original viewing audience. 

I would be remiss if I didn't mention that renowned special effects man from the 50's, Paul Blaisdell, was responsible for creating the monsters from this movie. He also created the monsters from many of the classic drive-in monster movies of the era, including It Conquered the World, The Beast with a Million Eyes, The She Creature and It! Terror from Beyond Space. Although his resume was fairly small, the movies he did create monsters for are memorable for the monsters, even if nothing else.  

So it is definitely worth at least one watch.  It's up to you if you decide to watch it a second time. At least one podcaster I watched likes this movie so much he turned it into a focal movie to review on his podcast and admits to really liking it. Me? I watched it twice. Once for this actual blog posting, but the second just to see if it was really as ridiculous as it was the first time.  (It is...) But, damn, it was fun to watch.  

Well, time to see if I can get the old Plymouth back home.  Don't think I'll be going down any back roads, just in case, though...

 

Quiggy