Book Review: I Hated, Hated, HATED This Movie by Roger Ebert

I Hated, Hated, HATED This Movie by Roger Ebert

As I have stated numerous times, both in conversations with fellow film fanatics and on this blog, telling me a movie is a  bad movie is akin to saying "I DARE you to watch this turkey of a movie". 

I don't always fall in line with the opinions of Roger Ebert. Or any of the other "professional" movie reviewers for that matter... (I don't care what the highbrows say about it, I think Citizen Kane is an overrated piece of crap, for instance). I use quotes from the professionals in my reviews mainly as a way to parallel or contrast my own opinion of movies. And, personally, I think anyone who depends on a reviewer to guide their movie experience to be limiting themselves. That would even include using my own reviews to guide your experiences, BTW. 

But I am not above letting a collection of reviews lead me to movies that I might not have ever noticed if I hadn't seen those reviews. Especially in the realm of those bad movies; the ones that are decried from the rooftops as being basically "not worth your time". I came across this book and Ebert's follow up on bad movies, Your Movie Sucks, at a resale place a week or so ago. 

The great thing about reading books like this is that it points out films that somehow escaped my notice, either because I never saw it on the shelf at the used DVD store or, in some cases, because the title never would have attracted my attention in the first place. When Ebert (or whomever) is so adamantly dismissive of the film, and the review delves into areas that seem a bit outlandish, it sometimes makes me say "Hey, can it really be THAT bad?" 

And in some cases, the review makes me say "Oh, I just HAVE to check this one out!" One in particular that appears in this volume is Turbulence (which I am going to watch after I write this review). Click this link to read his review, if you want to see why.

I enjoyed the book. Of course, I can't say his opinions always gelled with mine. He apparently didn't like either of the Cannonball Run films (Cannonball Run II is the only one in which his review was reprinted in this volume). He also didn't think much of the Home Alone films (once again, only his review of Home Alone 2: Lost in New York is in this volume). Death Race 2000 happens to be one of my favorite movies, but Ebert gave it a "no stars" rating. (To which I say "phhht, Roger!)

I have to agree with his take on the Neil Diamond film version of The Jazz Singer. And I only watched the Kevin Costner dud The Postman once, when it came to theaters. I think his 1½ stars is vastly generous on that one. One of these days I will watch it again for The Midnite Drive-In, but I will reveal in advance that, although I have never actually followed through on the idea, it is the one movie I came closest to walking out on when I saw it.

Quite a number of the movies here are ones that I have seen and have yet to add to this blog, and I am adding a couple more besides the above-mentioned Turbulence  to my list of movies I need to check out, simply because the review made them seem outlandish enough to appeal to my peculiar tastes. I think Roger Ebert was one of the most entertaining movie reviewers, and this book didn't let me down. Give me a week or so and I will add a review for the other volume I bought, Your Movie Sucks.

Happy reading, folks.

Quiggy

Semiquincentennial Movie Project #21: The Untouchables

 

 

 

The Semiquincentennial  Movie Project is an ongoing celebration of the 250th anniversary of the founding of the United States. During the course of this project your humble blogger is choosing a movie a week to represent each of the 50 states in the Union, as well as a movie scheduled for 4th of July weekend that will represent the nation's capitol, Washington D.C. The order of the weekly entries will coincide with the order of each state's entry into the fold (although, not necessarily coinciding with the date of their entry into said fold).

 

Week #21: Illinois-

 

 

 

The state of Illinois was established on December 3, 1818

Details about Illinois:

State bird: cardinal

State flower: violet

State tree: wild oak

Additional historical trivia:

You might THINK it was in New York, but officially the first building that could be classified as a "skyscraper" was built in Chicago. 

Twinkies were invented in Schiller Park.

The first Dairy Queen opened for business in Illinois. 

Ray Kroc opened the first McDonald's outside of California in Des Plaines. Kroc was from Illinois. (Now, I'm hungry...)

The famous Route 66 has it's starting point in Chicago. Or ending point if you are starting in California...

 Illinois was the first state to ratify the 13th Amendment which outlawed slavery.

The world's largest public library is in Chicago. 

Famous people born in Illinois" U.S. President Ronald Reagan, Ray Kroc,  Harrison Ford, Hugh Hefner, Walt Disney, Pope Leo XIV, Jimmy Connors and John Belushi.

 

 

The Untouchables (1987): 

The most famous gangster in the history of the United States would almost surely be Al Capone. While the history behind the efforts of the Federal government to put an end to Al Capone's reign as the crime boss of Chicago may be known to most people, it is a sure bet that only the most knowledgeable students have more than a passing acquaintance with the details. Most people probably only know the story from either the TV series with Robert Stack, or from this film.

 

The fact is that both are entirely reliant on dramatic license to tell a story and are filled with stuff that was rearranged or even invented out of whole cloth. One thing in particular that stands out in the film is that Eliot Ness and Al Capone had virtually no face to face interaction during the era. One site I read claims that Ness was only interacting with Capone when he served as one of the escorts that took Capone to prison after his trial.

That does not mean that Brian De Palma's film should be avoided completely, however, unless you are one of those people who demand strict historical accuracy in your films that deal with history. Instead, you could just look on this film as a well crafted fictional story and come away from it with a feeling of satisfaction.

As I have noted elsewhere, I am not a big fan of Kevin Costner. In fact, if it wasn't for the presence of Robert De Niro and Sean Connery in this film, I doubt if I would have as much appreciation for it, at least from an acting viewpoint. 

 

There is not much of Costner's portrayal that really connects with me. Roger Ebert in his review sums it up for me that he doesn't provide "any of the little twists and turns of character that might have made Ness into an individual", although he puts the blame more on David Mamet's script rather than on the actor himself.

Connery won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor for his work, but De Niro was virtually ignored. I thought that De Niro was equally worthy of at least a nomination, even though some reviews claimed he was basically just going through the motions. 

The film opens with a scene that somehow just doesn't ring true, at least for me. Capone (Robert DeNiro) is getting a shave while interviewers are asking him questions about his status as a figure in town of note. Somehow I just can't see Capone openly admitting to being involved in bootlegging to the press. Maybe the real Al Capone actually was forthright in his activities in real life: it's not as if no one even knew he existed at that point in time. But it just feels odd.

 

Eliot Ness (Kevin Costner) makes his appearance at the police headquarters and establishes his "goody two-shoes" persona when he makes it known that he is there to enforce Prohibition and take down those who would flaunt the law, including establishing that from that point forward, if the officers in his force had previously ignored the law before, there were expected to be paragons of virtue henceforth. Historically speaking, however, it was NOT against the law to drink during Prohibition, it was only against the law to make, transport or sell the stuff. Many people hoarded previously legal stashes that they got before Prohibition went into effect. 

Ness first finds out what he is up against when he makes a raid on a place that supposedly has a shipment of the illegal contraband, but instead of finding liquor he finds... umbrellas. It becomes apparent that there was a betrayal of his raid plans from within the force. As Malone (Sean Connery) tells Ness later in the movie, the town of Chicago "stinks like a whorehouse at low tide."

 

 Which is why, after convincing Malone to join his team, Malone says that they need to pull in some help from the newbies to the force. "If you're afraid of getting a bad apple, don't go to the barrel. Get it off the tree." So Malone and Ness go to the training section of the academy, looking for a man who is a good shot and honest (as in not corrupted by the graft that is rampant on the force).

 

The scene where they recruit George Stone (Andy Garcia) is one of my favorite scenes as far as dialogue. Malone and Stone have a tête-à-tête in which Malone queries Stone about his heritage: 

Malone: Stone? George Stone? What's you real name?

Stone: That is my real name.

Malone: Nah. What was it before you changed it?

Stone: Giuseppe Petri.

Malone: Ah! I knew it. That's all you need is one thieving wop on the team.

Stone: It's much better than you, you stinking Irish pig. (Both pull weapons).

Malone: Oh, I like him....

 

Also to come on board is a rather milquetoast addition, Oscar Wallace (Charles Martin Smith) who is an accountant in his real life. He is not initially what you would expect for a gun-toting gung ho federal agent, although he does develop over the course of his activities. Wallace thinks the best way, however, to take down Capone is to find information that would help to prosecute Capone for tax evasion.

 

Ness: Try a murderer for tax evasion?

Wallace: Well, it's better than nothing...

 

There are some great scenes in the second half of the film. Ness and his cohorts look to try to stop a shipment of contraband coming across the border from Canada. At one point one of the bootleggers is killed while trying to shoot it out with Ness. A short time later, while Malone is struggling to get another captive to open up about his connections he uses the corpse as an unorthodox incentive to get the prisoner to confess. I won't go into detail here, but it really is one of the scenes that probably swayed the Oscar voting to give Connery the statuette,

 

One of the other scenes that really stands out is a shootout at the train station. In an homage to a scene from Sergei Eisenstein's classic silent era film Battleship Potemkin,  the scene is staged on a series of steps in the train station. It is ten minutes of very intense action, and plays out with several parallels to the Russian classic.

 

There is one scene that happens late in the movie that is entirely fictional, and one of the few scenes that irks me due to it's unbelievable situation. Ness has an encounter with Frank Nitti (Billy Drago) on top of the courthouse. The ending, although it somehow fits in the context of the way that the story has been played out in this fictional account, does not seem to ring true with the character of Ness as he has been played out up to this point. Once again, I am going to leave it to the audience to watch the film and judge for themselves.

 

Ultimately, of course, and it's not a spoiler since this part is historical, Capone ends up being convicted of tax evasion. Historically speaking, that may have been the only way it was going to play out, since the Capone organization was powerful enough to keep the crime boss out of jail for his more overt illegal activities.

While The Untouchables  has it's issues with it's historical accuracy, the film is a stand out for the efforts that the director and the majority of the actors bring to the screen. Even some of the minor characters are memorable. I particularly liked Police Chief Mike Dorsett's (Richard Bradford) brief scenes when he interacted with Connery in the back alley fight. Dorsett is not as bad as it would all seem. I think he genuinely cares about Malone, even if Malone is opposed to the status quo (i.e. the bribery and corruption) in which Dorsett is involved.

This film ranks fairly high in lists of great gangster movies. One book I have in my collection, The Ultimate Book of Great Gangster Movies by  George Anastasia and Glen Macnow puts it at #28, while the Ranker website puts it in at # 11. (It should come as no surprise that both of those put the first two The Godfather films as #1 and #2). My personal list would probably have it at #5, behind those first two The Godfather films, followed closely by Goodfellas and Little Caesar. (Sorry Pulp Fiction fans...)

Well, that wraps up this week's entry. Drive safely, folks.

Quiggy

  

 

 

 

  

Semiquincentennial Movie Project #20: Mississippi Burning

 

The Semiquincentennial  Movie Project is an ongoing celebration of the 250th anniversary of the founding of the United States. During the course of this project your humble blogger is choosing a movie a week to represent each of the 50 states in the Union, as well as a movie scheduled for 4th of July weekend that will represent the nation's capitol, Washington D.C. The order of the weekly entries will coincide with the order of each state's entry into the fold (although, not necessarily coinciding with the date of their entry into said fold).

 

 

 

Week #20: Mississippi -

The state of Mississippi was established on December 10, 1817 (which, by the way, is the day before your humble blogger's birthday, although not the same year, obviously...)  

Details about Mississippi:

State bird: Northern mockingbird

State flower: Magnolia

State tree: Southern Magnolia 

Mississippi is the first state to allow conjugal visits for long term prisoners.

Since we will be celebrating it next week, Mississippi lays claim to being the site of the first Memorial Day. (There are disputes on this, BTW...)

The first female to be hired as a mail carrier came from Mississippi.

Coca Cola was invented in Atlanta, but the first bottling plant for the drink was in Vicksburg.

The University of Mississippi is home to the oldest book in the U.S. 

And Mississippi is the only state (so far) to have an official state toy (must've a slow day in Congress that day...). It's the teddy bear. 

Famous people born in Mississippi: Elvis Presley, B. B. King, James Earl Jones, Morgan Freeman, Brett Favre, Walter Payton, Jefferson Davis, Jerry Clower, William Faulkner and Tennessee Williams (believe it or not!)

One quick note: The above flag was adopted in 2021 due to pressure from the "politically correct" crowd. For much of it's existence (after the Civil War) the state flag was different.

 

Mississippi obviously held on to it's southern heritage and past for as long as it could, which becomes relevant when discussing today's entry in the Project. It was the last state in the Union to remove any trace of the Confederate flag from it's official state flag.

 

 

 

Mississippi Burning (1988): 

One of the saddest events to happen in Mississippi's history was the death of three civil rights activists in 1964. The Ku Klux Klan murdered James Chaney, Andrew Goodman and Michael Schwermer for the "crime" of trying to register black citizens to vote. Rather than go into intricate detail, you can check out this link to get details of the actual event.

The film is a highly fictionalized account of the event and the investigation by the FBI into what happened. There are a number of discrepancies in the film, although most of them irrelevant to the overall storyas presented in the film.  Of course, this is a film, and not a true-to-life documentary, so unless you are a stickler for absolute accuracy, the film version of the basic background events has the effect that it was meant to convey; the fact that the racism prevalent in pre-civil rights South was irrational and entirely motivated by an irrational and unfounded hatred of a people just because of the color of their skin. But to note, as Robert Brent Toplin says in his book History by Hollywood, the film "features far too many fictional situations to escape objections from the champions of authenticity". I have no desire to make this review a critical study of fact vs. fiction, however. For further study I suggest the chapter to devoted to the film in the above noted reference.

The primary focus of the film involves FBI agents who have been sent to a small town in Mississippi to investigate the disappearance of two civil rights activists who were sent to help register the black citizenry to be able to vote, a right that said citizenry already had, but was blocked by the predominantly white and racist population, including those who were in the position of supposedly seeing that that right was not infringed. Of course, since many of those in positions of the government were also members of the racist organization known as the Ku Klux Klan, they were not inclined to extend those rights to the disenfranchised minority.

Agent Alan Ward (Willem Dafoe) is the man in charge of the FBI contingent and he is constantly at odds with the older and more world wise, southernly speaking, Agent Rupert Anderson (Gene Hackman). Ward is a "by the book" official, who insists that everything has to be done the way the FBI has established operations be done. Anderson, on the other hand, who had been raised in the south and had even spent some time in the law enforcement community of said South, is adamant that the "bureau procedure" is not going to be as effective in this situation, since he knows from experience how people in the South think.

 

The pair arrive in the county seat of Jessup County, Mississippi, and begin their investigation. They run into problems at the very beginning, when they run headlong into what is going to be the brick wall of the investigation.

 

One of the best scenes featuring Hackman's Anderson in a one-on-one encounter with the good old boys in a private bar is indicative of why I think Hackman was deserving of his nomination, if not of actually winning, the Oscar. (And note: If you are prudish about language, you might want to skip this scene. Fair warning.)

 

 

It's not easy to like Willem Dafoe's character, even if his moral compass is pointed in the right direction, but there is one scene, a confrontation between Ward and Anderson that really stands out. (and again,be aware of the language factor...)

 

The hostility that the racist native population exposes to the interlopers is mainly centered on the main combatants in the conflict. The most hostile, in my opinion, is Frank Bailey (Michael Rooker). The above scene in the private bar with Hackman is indicative of the outright resistance and hatred that the character has, not only for the local black populace, but for these interloping federal agents come to stir up trouble. 

 

Much of the citizenry only watches the invasion of the feds with a bit of curiosity, not really hostile to the investigation, per se. But Deputy Clinton Pell's (Brad Dourif) wife, Mrs. Pell (Frances McDormand) has her moral compass pointed in the right direction. She forms a friendship with Agent Anderson, and basically informs him that the she knows those three civil rights workers were killed, and that she is pretty sure she knows who all was involved, including her husband.

 

The investigation often stalls, not only because those involved in the murder are also the ones to whom the agents are dependent to supply help, but also because the local black population is reluctant to give assistance out of fear of reprisals by the Klan. And the Klan indeed puts their hard influence into the fray, even fire bombing some houses and churches of locals they suspect of helping (whether the locals actually DID help the agents or not).

 

Eventually Agent Ward concedes that his by the book approach is going nowhere and allows Agent Anderson to execute some "less than legal" tactics to get the results they need.  They eventually find the bodies of the missing civil rights workers, but it takes a bit more tactics to pin the blame on the guilty parties. One of my favorite scenes is when the Mayor (R. Lee Ermey) is kidnapped and taken to a shack by a big bulky black Federal Agent who uses some scare tactics on him to get him to admit to being peripherally involved. This in itself could not be used in an actual court trial since it was information acquired through coercion, but it does help the ultimate goal of getting some of the others to admit to involvement.

 

The film was nominated for several Academy Awards, but unfortunately had the bad luck to be pitted against Rain Man in many of them. As good as Rain Man was, my personal opinion is that Mississippi Burning got robbed in a couple of categories. Overall I think Mississippi Burning was far better than Rain Man in the category for best director. I concede the Best Actor to Dustin Hoffman, mostly because of the work he did in conveying the eccentricities of the character he played, although I am pretty sure that Hackman came in second in the voting. But I also would have given the Best Supporting Actress award to Frances McDormand.  I will admit that the one Oscar that the movie did win, that for Best Cinematography, seems more like a concession than an actual win... Who Framed Roger Rabbit? probably should have won that one.

Despite the measure of criticism the film garnered as a result of it's heavy reliance on fictional portrayals as opposed to fact, it was generally well-received by the critics at large. Rotten Tomatoes gives it a fairly good 79% Fresh rating. The dynamic duo of critics, Siskel and Ebert, gave it a two thumbs up on their TV show, Siskel & Ebert & The Movies. The movie made a modest showing at the box office, doubling it's initial budget. 

As a historian, I can empathize with some of the critics who object to historical discrepancies in this film, but  as a general film lover, I can also appreciate how the movie pans out in terms of it's story.  As long as you go into it expecting a story and not necessarily a documentary, the acting of the primary actors portraying their individual characters can be taken in stride. If the point is to instill a dislike for the proponents of segregation and racist attitudes is the point, then both Brad Dourif and Michael Rooker stand out, even if they do come across, at times, as cardboard caricatures one might typically expect from Hollywood. Given that, I would recommend this movie, at least to those of you old enough to understand the implications presented.  

Until next week, drive safely.   

Quiggy 

 

Reprint: Adventures in Harryhausen Land

 

 

Next month I am hosting a Celebrate the Drive-In Week event, in which I am devoting a whole week to the drive-in movie experience. One of the films scheduled to be reviewed that week is The 7th Voyage of Sinbad, which was actually the first Sinbad movie that Ray Harryhausen created some of his iconic creatures for. This article was originally written for a blogathon back in 2017, but since it has some significance in my history of drive-in movie experiences I am reprinting it today. Keep an eye out for those celebratory films I have cued up for the celebration, and if you are of a mind, follow the above link and join in on the fun.

 

These are the two movies I remember most from the days when I used to go to the drive-in with my parents and my sister.  In those days it was a rare treat, because my father rarely closed up the store early.  (He had a gas station/garage that catered to the lake crowd in the days before Dallas built their own lakes, so a lot of people made the trek up from Dallas to the border, where Lake Texoma was the only thing going back in the 60's and 70's).

The earliest memory I have in a drive-in was going to see The Golden Voyage of Sinbad.  I was entranced.  It was probably the first time I had gone to the drive-in and not fallen asleep before the picture was over.  (I certainly don't remember our experience with seeing Patton, but we MUST have seen it as a family, because for years afterwards my father refused to allow us to go to another movie that was rated PG.  Until Star Wars, but I have related that story elsewhere on this blog.)

Sinbad was played by three different actors in each of the Ray Harryhausen entries.  Kerwin Mathews played him in the first of the three, The 7th Voyage of Sinbad, in 1958.  It was 15 years later before Ray and company brought forth another Sinbad entry.  This time Sinbad was played by John Phillip Law (The Golden Voyage of Sinbad).  Then four years later, yet another actor, Patrick Wayne (son of the Duke himself) took on the role.

Each one, in his own right played the character with gusto.  Actors being a commodity that is based on their public draw, it is apparent that good looks factored in quite a bit with the cast of Sinbad in each movie.  Of course, Sinbad must have been pretty charismatic to entice his crew to follow him on his voyages, so the charisma of the lead actors is not out of place.  My main issue is the lack of chest hair.  Sinbad is of Middle Eastern origin, a race that is predominated by swarthy men, so he must've had a hairy chest, right?  Kerwin Mathews, as near as I can tell was the only Sinbad with chest hair.  At least Patrick Wayne and John Phillip Law have facial hair. (And Kerwin Mathews is clean-shaven)  Why this should bother me, I have no idea...

The Harryhausen creatures are a real wonder.  Remember this was well before the days of CGI graphics.  While they may look primitive by those standards, they are still far and beyond anything that was conceivable at the time.  And in cases where the actors had to appear to be lifted or hoisted by the creatures in a scene, most of the time it's really hard to tell they are not really human.  (By comparison, check out most of the scenes in the original King Kong, in which a human interacts with the animated creatures.)

Magic and superstition play a focal role in these movies.  What else would you expect?  These kinds of tales were my favorite as a young boy, and this love of fantasy elements continues to this day.  Harryhausen and his good friend, the author Ray Bradbury, each made a pact with the other that even if they grew old, they would  never grow up  And I too have never grown up, not if it means leaving behind a love of these epic sword battles and fantasy creatures.
.

The Golden Voyage of Sinbad (1973)

Golden Voyage  starts out with Sinbad and his crew sailing on open waters.  Sinbad (John Phillip Law; who was the blind angel Pygar in Barbarella ) and crew spy a flying creature carrying something shiny.  An arrow is fired at the creature and it drops the item which turns out to be a piece of a golden tablet.  Sinbad decides to wear the tablet as an amulet, against the wishes of his crew who think it is cursed.

Sinbad (John Phillip Law)

That night Sinbad has a dream.  A man calls out his name and an enchanting woman with a tattoo of an eye on her hand haunt him.  The ship is assailed by a storm which blows Sinbad's ship off course, and they find themselves off the coast of Marabia.  Sinbad swims ashore, and encounters Prince Koura (Tom Baker, who by the way also played one of the incarnations of Doctor Who back in the day).

Prince Koura (Tom Baker) 

Koura sees Sinbad's amulet. He says that the amulet belongs to him and demands it.  Instead Sinbad fights him and escapes. The crew end up going to the nearest city, which is the capital of Marabia. There Sinbad encounters the Grand Vizier (Douglas Wilmer), a man who is forced to wear a mask to cover his face.  It was burned in a fire (caused by the dastardly Koura).

The Grand Vizier (Douglas Wilmer)

The Vizier reveals to Sinbad that his amulet and a second piece that the Vizier has is part of a map leading to a great treasure, which includes a renewed youth, a cloak of darkness and a crown of fabulous wealth.  He convinces Sinbad to go on a voyage to get this treasure.  While awaiting departure, Sinbad is accosted by a merchant who wishes to pay Sinbad to take his no-goodnik son, Haroun (Kurt Christian) with him on his voyage.  Sinbad initially refuses, but the merchant has a slave girl (who, coincidentally, has an eye tattoo on her hand), so he eventually agrees if he can also have the slave girl, Margiana by name (Caroline Munro).

Margiana (Caroline Munro)

Haroun proves to useful as comic relief in the movie, but not much else, at least at first.  Margiana however intrigues Sinbad.  The crew sail, unknowingly followed by Koura who is intent on getting the tablet and treasure for himself.  The first night he casts a spell that causes the ship's figurehead to come to life.  It steals the map after an impressive fight with crew members.  (This is actually the second Harryhausen creation in this film, the first being the flying creature that Sinbad and crew try to shoot down)

Harryhausen's figurehead

Sinbad and crew eventually arrive at the temple of the Oracle (voiced by Robert Shaw, who, among other roles, was Quint in Jaws and the mob boss Doyle Lonnegan in The Sting) which reveals to them the final resting place of the third tablet, albeit in riddles.  Koura, who is still following them casts another spell causing the temple walls to fall around them and entrap them.  But they escape due to the ingenuity of Sinbad.  Meanwhile, every time Koura casts a spell he gets significantly older, as the black magic drains his life force every time.

Magic drains the soul

The trip takes the crew to Lemuria, where Koura has gained the upper hand.  He brings to life the six-armed statue of the native's god, Kali, which fights Sinbad's crew with six-swords (the third Harryhausen creation)

Six hands are better than one

Haroun becomes useful when he knocks the statue off balance and it topples to crash on the ground.  When it shatters the third tablet is revealed.  Koura takes the tablet and leaves Sinbad to the wiles of the natives whose god he has destroyed.   At this point, Margiana becomes a factor when she screams and throws out her hands, revealing the tattoo.

They think she is a special sacrifice meant for their one-eyed god (a centaur that lives in the caverns below) and send her down as a sacrifice.  The centaur comes out of it's cave and Sinbad uses several ruses to rescue Margiana from it. They race to the fountain to try to stop Koura from completing the tasks.  The end is well worth the wait, because not only do we get to see Sinbad and Koura clash swords in an epic final battle, but we get to see two more of Harryhausen's creations duke it out too; the aforementioned centaur, representing Evil and a griffin, representing Good.

A fantastic movie for all ages.  Kids will thrill to the fantasy creatures, and adults will find the story entertaining too.  And Harryhausen fans will see what I feel are the greatest animation sequences of his career (although I am sure there are those who will argue for others.  Be that as it may.)

Sinbad and The Eye of the Tiger (1977)

Prince Kassim (Damien Thomas) is due to be crowned caliph of Charak.  Unfortunately evil befalls the ceremony (which we do not see unfold, but is revealed later in the movie).  Sinbad (Patrick Wayne) arrives in Charak, with goods to unload, but also with the intent of asking Kassim to allow his sister Farah (Jane Seymour) to marry him. (This is the movies.  Probably useless to wonder why a prince would even be allowed to marry a commoner...)  He is stopped by a merchant who tells him the city is under curfew because of the "plague".  Really the merchant intends to cause harm to Sinbad.  Zenobia (played by Margaret Whiting; not the same woman who had a recording career in the 40's and 50's, however), the wicked stepmother of a Farah and a witch, casts a spell causing three ghouls to appear to fight Sinbad in the tent. (The first Harryhausen creation)

Ghoulish encounter

After defeating the ghouls, back at his ship, Sinbad meets up with Farah who pleads with him to help her find a way to reverse the curse on her brother that Zenobia cast on him.  See, Zenobia wants her own son, Rafi (Kurt Christian, and yes that's the same actor who played the no-goodnik comic relief character Haroun in the previous entry) to be named caliph.  To do so she cursed Kassim, and if the curse is not lifted before the passing of a specific time, Kassim will lose his right to be named caliph. To engender this transfer, Zenobia turned Kassim into a baboon.  This is revealed when crewmen spy Farah playing chess with the baboon.  The baboon is, in fact, Harryhausen's second creation of the movie.

Chess with a baboon

 Meanwhile, Zenobia has created a bronze golem she dubs Minoton to power a rowboat to chase after Sinbad, trying to stop him from reaching Melanthius.

Minoton

Sinbad and crew reach the shores of the fabled land where Melanthius is rumored to be.  First they encounter his daughter Dione (Taryn Power; daughter of Tyrone Power), and then Melanthius himself (Patrick Troughton, yet another of the Doctor Who incarnations.  These movies are full of celebrities...).  Melanthius and Dione eventually agree to accompany Sinbad north to the home of an ancient civilization that might have the answer to the reversing of the curse.

(L-R) Sinbad, Melanthius, Dione and Farah

Zenobia uses her magic to turn herself into a seagull, fly to Sinbad's ship, and convert herself to a miniature form so she can spy on Melanthius and Sinbad.  She is caught, but manages to escape, but in the process loses a valuable portion of her potion, so that when she returns to her own ship she can't be completely reverted back to human form.

When Sinbad finally come ashore in the frozen wastelands of the north, they are attacked by a giant walrus (another Harryhausen creation, and, in my opinion, the most unbelievable and ridiculous of the batch.  I felt immensely like it had been added as an afterthought because the studio needed more footage, rather than that it was a valid creature of the story, but that's just my opinion...)

I am the Walrus

Sinbad and crew trek across the frozen wastelands and find a valley that is lush and hospitable.  While they are resting a trogolodyte appears.  Although they initially think the creature is a threat, he turns out to be friendly.

Troglodyte

The final battle which involves trying to get the baboon Kassim into a transforming column of light while battling Zenobia who is intent on trying to stop them, along with another epic battle between two Harryhausen creations, the troglodyte and a saber-toothed tiger is once again a worthy ending.

Battle royale

I regret that you can't experience these movies the way I did (from the back seat of the Plymouth my father drove) on the big screen of a drive-in.  Although, who knows, with the current trend of new drive-ins coming and a few bucks to the manager, you might be able to wangle it.  (Pipe dreams, to be sure, but I'm nothing if not a dreamer).  Meanwhile pleasant sailing on your voyage home.

Quiggy