The Defector Who Wasn't There

 

This is my entry for the On The Spot Blogathon hosted by Taking Up Room

What do you call a movie with Morey Amsterdam, and a sphinx, and a spy ring, and Rose Marie, and a gorilla, and secret agents, and pop art, and hillbillies, and sliding panels, and a corpse, and Richard Deacon?

Search me.  What do you call it?

Don't worry... we'll think of a title...

From the trailer for Don't Worry, We'll Think of a Title

Watch the trailer. It'll save time.

 

The old TV show from the 60's, The Dick van Dyke Show, was a classic sitcom that featured van Dyke, but also featured Morey Amsterdam as Buddy Sorrell and Rose Marie as Sally Rogers, the other two members of a comedy writing team that wrote scripts for the fictional TV show "The Alan Brady Show".  Also a frequent star on the show was Richard Deacon as their immediate boss, the producer of the show, Mel Cooley.  An occasional guest on the show was the star of the said fictional TV show, Alan Brady, played by Carl Reiner.

If you are not that well versed in the Hollywood of the 60's, you might think this was the entire output of Amsterdam, Deacon and Rose Marie. Admittedly they were not prolific.  IMDb lists Deacon, for instance, in a raft of roles in which he appeared "uncredited".  He did have one other recurring role; as Lumpy Rutherford's father, Fred Rutherford,  on the TV show Leave it to Beaver, however.

Amsterdam and Marie both had limited roles in Hollywood (81 credits for Amsterdam and 80 for Marie, according to IMDb).  All three had extensive TV credits, as opposed to film roles. However,  Amsterdam and Marie had more experience doing stand-up comic stints. In early years of the transformation of Las Vegas from just a way station in the desert to the go-to place for extended stays as entertainment venue at the iconic nightclubs of the city, they both had regular gigs.

So it may come as a surprise that the three appeared in a film together in the 60's.  Not a movie that many have seen.  In fact, probably not a movie that most of you have even heard of.  (And, in fact,  I hadn't heard of it myself until recently, so you aren't the only ones.)

The film was a 1966 absurd slapstick comedy called Don't Worry, We'll Think of a Title. Really.  That is the title.  It was written by Amsterdam and George Schenck (a name that will be familiar to fans of the TV show NCIS).

The movie has a whole raft of uncredited cameos: You will see Moe Howard, Danny Thomas, Forrest Tucker. Irene Ryan, Steve Allen, Carl Reiner, Milton Berle and Cliff Arquette.  (Arquette's name may not be familiar, although he is grandfather to those other Arquettes you have heard of, but he is also famous for his character of Charlie Weaver, if you watched the old Hollywood Squares game show.  The iconic hat is a dead giveaway when he appears on screen...)

It also is credited as the first film of a woman named January Jones.  No, it's not the same January Jones of Mad Men fame... That Jones hadn't even been born yet.  This Jones was a lounge singer from Vegas that must've been a protege of Amsterdam.  She didn't go on to a career in acting, that's for sure.  Her film credits only amounted to 4 roles. She didn't even really have an impact on the music scene either. Which is no surprise if the following is an example of her musical talent...

 

With all those cameos, you would think this movie would have had a bigger following, but it didn't.  In fact it is such a forgotten (and bad) film that even when it is mentioned it gets a pretty low rating. Leonard Maltin called it a "Grade Z shambles." TV Guide calls it an "abominable" comedy. The question is is it really all that bad?  Well, it's not Blazing Saddles (my pick for best comedy movie) but then again, it's not Death to Smoochy (my pick for the worst comedy movie) .

Read on to see if you want to give it a shot for yourself.

 

 

 

Don't Worry, We'll Think of a Title (1966):

The film opens with Charlie (Amsterdam) working in a greasy spoon diner as a short order cook, with Annie (Rose Marie) as a waitress.

  

Also working as a waitress is Magda (Jones). Their boss, Mr. Travis (Deacon), is the put upon guy who has to keep this bunch under control.  Which is tough even when the place isn't swamped with customers.

A lot of sight gags and excuses for one liners ensues including guest appearance to start the film, with Steve Allen and Forrest Tucker. 

One of the funniest bits occurs early in the movie when Forrest Tucker is chatting away with his date and the scene keeps cutting back and forth between him saying his lines and Amsterdam and Rose Marie saying different things.  It's reminiscent of a scene from Austin Powers, which is hard to describe, but it makes one wonder if Mike Myers had this movie in mind when he did that scene. (Wish I could post this clip.  The video I watched is on another site and I don't know how to cut it.

Also appearing to start out the plot of the movie is a mysterious woman, Comrade Olga (Carmen Phillips) who is really a secret agent trying to find a defector from a foreign country, a cosmonaut who has some seriously damaging info and who apparently is a dead ringer for Charlie.  She is in contact with the foreign spy ring and given the job of keeping tabs on Charlie, since she and her bigwig bosses think Charlie is their defector.

Early on a lawyer (Moe Howard) shows up to inform Magda that a relative has died and left her as the sole inheritor of a college campus bookstore.  

So Magda tells Mr. Travis she is quitting.  

Left with the two malcontents, Mr. Travis decides to fire them both.  And they decide to take off to follow Magda to her new digs.  (Why?  Why not...?)  They start hitchhiking, and again a lot of sight gags, including Granny Clampett who gives them a ride.

 

 Eventually they make it to Magda's new place Ye Olde Book Shoppe. She is happy to hire them both on.  Mainly because she needs the help, of course, since she is trying to operate the place all by herself.  But there are a lot of mysterious things happening. Especially this guy Jim (Michael Ford), who shows up to help out.  But is he there to help Magda  or does he have some ulterior motives?  He sure does spend a lot of time talking in secret to another guy, one he claims to Annie and Charlie that he hasn't been talking to.

For another thing, Charlie notices a couple of guys who leave every morning packing suitcases, but show up just at closing time, packing the same suitcases.  And most of the customers are a bit oddball.  There are plenty of hoary old jokes in this film, most of them coming from the cameos I mentioned.  Some of them come off as cheesy, while others can generate a titter or two.  Especially if you've had a few. My favorite has to be a scene where Milton Berle makes his cameo, dragging a rope.

"Why are you dragging that rope?"

"Have you ever tried pushing one?"

 The basic plot, the fact that Charlie resembles the missing cosmonaut, often takes a back burner to the oddball goings on, and maybe those two mysterious guys have something to do with it,  Apparently they are using the bookstore to tunnel their way into some place else, but it is not readily apparent at the outset how they fit in.  But then, its not readily apparent how ANYBODY fits in to the story at times...

Meanwhile, our secret agent, Olga (remember Olga?) has planted a listening device in the shop to try to overhear Charlie reveal himself as the missing cosmonaut.  The listening device is planted in the shell of a turtle.  (yes, I said a turtle...)

The strange goings on continue, ultimately leading to a shootout at Ye Olde Book Shoppe. And Charlie and Annie look around to see what's going on.  But with detectives like these who need the Keystone Kops? Speaking of cops, Richard Deacon appears again as the chief of police.  When Charlie says to him that he looks familiar, hadn't he seen him before, the chief takes off his hat revealing his bald pate and says

"Did you see the beginning of this picture?"

The hardest part of this film is keeping up with what is going on at any time.  But it all clears up at the end... I think.  Magda's friend, Jim, turns out to be a secret agent for the good guys.  At least I think he's with the good guys.  The good guys want Charlie to keep up with the charade,  letting the bad guys think he is the missing cosmonaut.  So the good guys can catch them?  Maybe, but as Charlie, breaking down the fourth wall,  tells the audience before the credits roll:  "Don't reveal the shocking end of this movie."  So I won't. How could I?  I still don't know myself..

This movie is definitely a tough nut to crack to keep up with.  Is it worth it? I'll just say well, it wasn't lost for 50 years for nothing... But  then, that's what I'm here for... to watch those films you'd have to be nuts to watch yourself.

Quiggy