A Time to Die... or Maybe Not

 

 

 

 The future is uncertain... or is it?  What if we could know what the future holds? 

The trope of time travel in science fiction has at least two well-known themes.  One is that of the narrator who actually does the time traveling himself and relates his or her experiences for the audience.  Think  The Time Machine in which the protagonist has journeyed (in this case the future) and returned to let his friends (and us) know what the future holds. 

Another is that in which a mysterious stranger appears on the scene and claims to be from some distant future. In this case, most often anyway, this stranger is considered to be crazy, because, after all, time travel is not really possible, therefore the stranger must be delusional. Think 12 Monkeys as a good example of this theme.

Of course, as we know it now, time travel, at least in terms of the way it is accomplished in the science fiction trope, is impossible. We have the story of John Titor, a man who appeared on the scene in the late 90's, who claimed to be from the future, but whether or not he really was is debatable. Reading the link above will be more instructive, but in essence, his pronunciations of future events were not entirely accurate. He claimed that there would be a civil war in the U.S. in 2015, for example.

Of course, even he himself gave himself an out in case his predictions were proved untrue.  He said that we could change the future by changing whatever actions we took to another track. But did he really come from the future and we created an alternate timeline by our actions or was he just full of so much malarkey?

Time travel theory has so many rabbit holes one could go down.  The classic grandfather paradox, for example. If you could go back in time and somehow accidentally kill your own grandfather before he ever met your grandmother, you obviously would not have been born.  Therefore how could you have gone back in time to commit the act?  Theoretically any action you took on your travel back in time could seriously affect your present.  

But time travel theorists get around that by claiming your actions created an alternate timeline. One in which you actually did commit the act.  But the world you came back to would be altered, maybe for the better, but also maybe for he worst.  Ray Bradbury once wrote an excellent short story in which a character went back to the prehistoric era and accidentally killed a butterfly.  The world he came back to in the present was so seriously altered that it was unrecognizable.

I don't really want to get in to the possibilities of time travel here. I just wanted to prepare you for some musings that will happen in this blog entry as I discuss the story lines of the entries.

To get down to the meat of this entry, in 1984 we were treated to one of the best time travel movies ever made, The Terminator.. The story arc involves more than just the first movie (there have been as of this date 5 movies involving the story arc, of varying degrees of quality).  But the first one, which I saw in the theater, was my favorite. Note: Many lists say Terminator 2 is a better movie. But this is my blog, and therefore my opinion... 

After it came out, an author named Harlan Ellison claimed that the movie was WAY similar to two stories he had written, both of which became episodes of the classic TV series from the 60's, The Outer Limits. He sued. (He was a very litigious man., by all accounts.  He would apparently sue people at the drop of a hat).

The ultimate outcome was that James Cameron had to add a reference to Ellison in the credits when it was released on video.  But was his claim valid?  I wondered.  So I found both episodes and watched them to see how much similarity there was in the movie to his original stories.  Below are the two episodes, followed by a detailed review of the movie.  You can decide for yourself.

The Outer Limits "Soldier" (Broadcast date: Sept. 19, 1964):

In the far distant future two soldiers battle.  They are given instructions through their headsets to kill "The Enemy". They come to a final clash on a barren landscape.  

During the battle they are hit with what appears to be bolts of lightning and sent into a vortex.  One of the soldiers, Qarlo (Michael Ansara) ends up in modern day (1964) United States.

Because he is dressed oddly and because he seems to have a violent demeanor, he is immediately captured and confined to a prison / mental institution.  Since his language is unfamiliar, an expert in languages is brought in to try to figure out who he is and what he is saying. Eventually the expert (Lloyd Nolan) figures out that what he is speaking is a form of English, and that he is from the future.  He tries his best to "civilize" the man, since basically all he knows is his mission: to kill the Enemy.

In the end the expert removes Qarlo from his captivity and brings him into the normal world.

Meanwhile, Qarlo's "Enemy" finally escapes the vortex and finds his own way into the present, and he, too, is programmed to kill the Enemy, in this case Qarlo. The ultimate end is the two battle.  And destroy each other. 

The only real connection between this episode and The Terminator, as far as I can tell, is that the soldiers are from the future.  If that is the only connection, Ellison was full of shit.  I mean there must be dozens of stories about soldiers from the future traveling back in time, some that even predate his story.

 The Outer Limits "Demon with a Glass Hand" (Broadcast date:  Oct. 17, 1964):

In this episode we have yet another soldier. This one, Tent (played by Robert Culp), is one who awakes with no memory of who he was past "10 days ago". He only knows that someone (or some people are trying to kill him, and his only "friend" is a glass hand.  His hand, which has apparently replaced his real hand is only a partial one. It is missing fingers. He can communicate with the hand and asks it questions constantly.

When he asks it, at the beginning, who these people are and what to do, the hand tells him that the only way to defeat his pursuers is to remove a gold medallion that each carries. And that, to stay alive, his destiny is in his "whole hand".  Cryptic to say the least at this point. And staying alive is :easier said than done."

Immediately Trent captures one of the people and interrogates him.  Thus he discovers that his potential assassins are the Kyba and they come from the future. They are after him to get his hand, which supposedly holds all knowledge. And that he, Trent, is the last man on Earth. Well, obviously he is not the "last man" since this is taking place in the present. So maybe Trent isn't actually from the present time.

The captive reveals that the gold medallion is a device that keeps each assassin in the present, and when it is removed, that person actually doesn't die; he just returns to the future.  And Trent also wears a medallion, so Trent also comes from the future.  As the hand explains this to him, it reveals that the Kyba invaded Earth and had plans to annihilate the human race, but inexplicably, the entire human race vanished.

The secret is that the hand does have all the answers, but it can only function when it is entirely complete.  And the Kyben have the three missing appendages.  They in turn want the rest of his hand because, after all, it holds the key to finding those millions of future humans that disappeared. And to help them get to Trent they have put up a force field around the building from which there is no escape.  So he is all alone.

Well, not quite.  He finds a woman, Consuelo (Arlene Martel),  a human from the present in one of the offices.  So now he has an ally (or at the very least a hostage) to help him defeat the Kyba in the building. 

 

But he has to find and destroy the machine, called a "time mirror" that is a gateway for the Kyba to send back more assassins from the future. (Just a thought, though.  If these Kyba can send back soldiers to hunt Trent, and they have sealed off that one building so there is no escape, why couldn't they just send back 100, or even 1000 soldiers and just have done with it?)

The aliens kill Trent and capture him and Consuelo, and attach one of the fingers.  Thinking there is no threat they leave him and Consuelo alone, and go to await aliens who are coming through the time machine with the other two fingers.  Meanwhile the computer in Trent's hand tells Consuelo how to revive him.  You just THOUGHT he was dead.  As he gradually gets more of the missing appendages the computer in his hand becomes more able to help him find out exactly what he is doing here.  Which turns out to be finding a cure for a plague, one of the reasons the aliens need his hand. 

You see, the humans had created a plague that would destroy all life. Then they transcribed the human race into electronic circuits and put themselves on a thin wire.  Which is how they escaped the plague that is killing off the Kyba in the future.  And ultimately, Trent finds out that he is not a man, but a robot, with that wire imbedded in his body.

OK, at least this episode has some elements that are somewhat similar to the film.  But instead of a robot sent back to eliminate the leader of the rebellion, this robot was sent back to keep the strand of human life alive until that future date when the plague will have dissipated. The only question not really answered is why 1000 years in the past.  Why not just a 100 or so. Trent will have to live through not only the 1000 years, but another 200 beyond that before the Earth will be safe for the return of the humans.

And now we have the plagiarizing culprit...

The Terminator (1984):

The story begins in the future. A vast landscape in the middle of an ongoing battle.  In a brief prologue, before the title and credits run, we find out that, circa 2029 (that's only 4 years from this writing...), "the machines rose from the ashes of the nuclear fire. Their war to exterminate mankind has raged for decades, but the final battle would not be fought in the future. It would be fought here, in our present. Tonight..."  With just that brief synopsis to introduce to the concept, and the credits and title we segue to present day.

You probably know the drill already. A terminator, an indestructible android (played by the indestructible Arnold Schwarzenegger), appears in a flash of lightning. Nude. 

If you thought I was going to post the nude Arnie, sorry...

Apparently even androids can't use the time machine with clothes, since a little later a human comes through the same type of time transport and he too is nude.

The human is on the run from the cops from the get go.  He and the terminator are both seeking one Sarah Connor.  The terminator is systematically looking for Sarah, but apparently does not know the exact Sarah it is seeking, since it dispatches two of the three listed in the phone book. Luckily for her, (and us as the viewers of the film), the Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton) whom it is seeking are listed third of the three people named "Sarah Connor" in the phone book.

Apparently the human, whose name is Reese (Michael Biehn), knows which one is the real target since he tracks her down without bothering to look for the other two. Meanwhile, back at Sarah's apartment, the terminator busts in and wastes Sarah's roommate and her boyfriend.  Mission accomplished as far as the terminator is concerned... right?

Wrong.  At that moment Sarah, panicked because of the two dead Sarah Connors and believing some nutcase is whacking off anyone named Sarah Connor, calls her roommate and leaves a message on the answering machine.  Now the terminator is not only aware that there is still one Sarah to deal with, and by virtue of Sarah telling the roommate where she is, it has it's next destination.  Meanwhile, at the club where Sarah is hiding, she is staying because a Lt. Traxler (Paul Winfield) has told her to stay put, because after all, she is in a public place and no one is going to try anything in a public place. (Yeah, right.)

Both of the future boys end up at the club where Sarah Connor is and Reese blows away the terminator and tells her "come with me if you want to live". 

While on the run Reese tells Sarah what the situation is. Both he and the terminator are from the future.  He was sent back to protect her from the terminator, which is a cybernetic organism (cyborg) which had been sent back to kill her.  Eventually Reese will tell her why. Her unborn son, John Connor, is the leader of the resistance movement against the machines that are trying to take over in the future.  The machines figure if they can eliminate her before she has the son the resistance will be eliminated.

But not only does Reese have to deal with the terminator, he also has to deal with the present day cops, who eventually capture him and Sarah.  Of course, no one ca really be from the future so Kyle must be mentally deranged.  But the terminator (who probably would be also considered mentally deranged, if they could talk to him) stages a raid on the police headquarters, still trying to complete his mission.  Reese manages to use the chaotic distraction to free himself from his handcuffs and escape with Sarah.

While in hiding Reese tells Sarah a little about the future.  Although it is pretty bleak, there is still some hope, and most of it relies on the  tenacity of their leader, her as yet unborn son.  (I should point out that at this point she isn't even pregnant.  Remember that...)  The two hide out a a motel, and Reese leaves, instructing Sarah to let "no one know" where she is.  But she calls her mom and tells her.  Unfortunately, as you may have guessed, her mom is no longer in the picture.  She just told the terminator who, since he is all machine, has the ability to mimic her voice.

Meanwhile things develop back at the motel and Sarah and Reese develop a relationship that gets a bit intimate.  And thus, guess who the father of John is.  You get three guesses, but the first two don't count... So, ultimately we find out why John picked Reese as the man to go back in time to protect her.  (Ignore that time paradox that just came in to your head or the rest of the movie and the rest of the franchise will have no point.

No nude pictures here, either...

The terminator shows up at the motel and. of course, there is an obligatory car chase. The explosives that Reese rigged up have no affect on the pursuing terminator.  But just when things start to look bleak, Reese sets off a bomb that explodes the gas truck that the terminator was using to chase them and he and it go up in flames.

Movie over?  Yeah, right.  Keep thinking optimistically...

The terminator rises from the ashes.  (And this being before CGI, that skeleton of it's makeup is pretty impressive...)

The terminator follows Reese and Sarah into an automated factory where all that machinery is somewhat distracting to the terminator, but it is relentless. And once again Reese is able to seemingly defeat it.  But that's just an illusion... Reese unfortunately dies, but not that relentless S.O.B. 

Of course, Sarah finally finds that drive she needs and lures the terminator into a hydraulic press. And finally! Success!

OK, so the verdict is... The Terminator does have some parts of it that could be construed as somewhat inspiring of the story, but not much.  And yet, the director, rather than have a long drawn out legal battle, chose to capitulate.  I must admit it hurts some to watch this film and see that tag at the end "Acknowledgement to the works of Harlan Ellison".  If it had been me, being the combative personality that I am, I would have told Ellison "Go ahead.  Make my day." (Another movie that has no relationship to Ellison's work, but I bet if he could have found a sliver of opportunity, he wouldn't have hesitated...).

Note: I like Ellison as an author.  He wrote some fantastic stories.  But if he was as much an a-hole as history has made him out to be, I wouldn't have sat down and had a drink with him.

Well, time to fire up the old Plymouth and see if I can dodge those AI robots and make it home.  Drive safely.

Quiggy

Muscles and Steel

 Note; It wasn't planned, of course, since this blogathon was created a few months ago, but I think it's fitting that I should dedicate this entry to the memory of one one of the most iconic voices in Hollywood, James Earl Jones. Jones, in case you were unaware, left the scene earlier this week.  Not only did he give us the memorable voice of Darth Vader, but he played both good and bad guys with style, Go check out some of his classic roles.  (Here he was Thulsa Doon in the first entry of this double feature).

This is my entry in the Barbarians at the Gates blogathon hosted by Hamlette's Soliloquy and yours truly.

The barbarian movie begins (but not necessarily ends) with Conan.  There were a few others, to be sure that predated the two Arnold Schwarzenegger movies featuring the iconic warrior, but I would be willing to bet $$ it would never have taken off to the heights it did it if "The Governator" hadn't come on the scene.

Imagine, for a moment, if you will... Conan the Barbarian... starring...Charles Bronson.  Believe it or not, in the early 70's when this production first started getting batted around Hollywood, Chuck was one of the guys considered. Now Bronson would have been in his 50's, and I don't know for sure how buff he was then, but still...

Another was William Smith (who actually did get a brief role as Conan's father early in the film).  He was a bit younger than Chuck, by 10 years, but still. A mid-40's Conan? 

The third option, and by this time beefcake enough to have pulled it off, was... Sylvester Stallone.  Well, he was indeed turning to a muscular behemoth even in the  early 80's.   And he could have given Arnold himself a run for his money when it came to enunciating.  But I still don't think the swords and sorcery genre would have taken off quite the way it did if Stallone had been at the helm. 

One note in particular about the first movie.  The background to the character of Conan is changed somewhat from what my research says was Robert E. Howard's background for his character.  In the novels Conan develops in his village as a muscular warrior and goes off to the road to adventure from there.  But the movie has a different tack on it.

In the film, a quiet village goes through day to day life.  Conan's father (William Smith) is a metalworker and teaches his young son about what they believe and the legends of their peoples. This includes a down to earth god, much like the people that worship him, Crom.

Into this bucolic setting rides an invading horde.  Since the end result is that the village is burned to the ground and all the men are killed (and maybe even all the women), apparently they are only there to get Conan, who is taken captive.

Conan watches as the warriors lay waste to his village, killing his father.  And then, while standing there holding his mother's hand, the leader of this marauding horde rides up, and removes his helmet.  Thulsa Doom (James Earl Jones). doesn't even need to say a word.  (We don't actually get to hear Jones' iconic voice until much later in the movie.).  All he has to do is just stare into the eyes of Conan's mother and she drops her sword.  And then Doom beheads her.

Conan, along with several other boys, are taken captive, and eventually put to work as slaves turning a wheel.  At the start, all of them turn the wheel. (And what the point of this wheel is is never really clear...) Eventually all of the other children fall to the wayside (whether by death or some other circumstances is also not really clear.)

This leaves Conan himself, who through all this has become a very muscular older man.  And he is released from his captivity.  The scene shifts to him, supposedly free (but still has some remnants of chains on him so I'm not sure.) Being chased by wild dogs he hides in a cavern which quite possibly is a burial tomb.  A skeleton that appears to have been a former king sits on a throne with a sword.  Conan takes the sword, cleans it up and removes the remaining chains.

When he gets out of the cave/tomb he encounters a witch who revels to him some important information on where he can find the men who killed his father.  He has to go to a town where more will be revealed.  Along the way he meets a thief named Subotai (Gerry Lopez) and the woman with whom he becomes infatuated, Valeria (Sandahl Bergman).  

The trio raid a tower and kill a big snake and get some jewels, but their escapade comes to the attention of the local king, Osric (Max von Sydow),

Osric gives them a quest, rescue his daughter who has come under the influence of a powerful sorcerer (you guessed it, Thulsa Doom). Both Subotai and Valeria try to convince Conan to turn down this quest, but, revenge is a dish best served cold (to quote another movie).  Conan has to go after Doom for the honor his dead parents and ends up taking it alone since neither is willing to go on this obviously no-win endeavor.  (I mean Thulsa Doom is renowned for his big time status as a wizard after all.)

Conan makes his way to the citadel and runs across a small time wizard (Mako) in his own right (and by coincidence our humble narrator of the saga),  who gives him some help but sends him on his way.  Conan arrives at Doom's citadel. where he poses as a wannabe convert, with the help of a priest whose robes he "confiscates".

But Thulsa sees through him (wizard, remember?) and orders him to be crucified.  But Conan is not going to go down so easily. Even as he is crucified and beginning to be eaten by vultures he still tries to fight back.  And to his rescue come his friends. Both Subotai and Valeria come around to his way of thinking and agree to help him on his quest to rescue Osric's daughter. But first they must nurse him back to health and for that they need the help of a wizard.  The same wizard Conan met on his way to Doom's citadel.

 But ultimately Doom has some manner of magic and Valeria ends up dying. 

Conan pleads with Crom to help him in his quest for revenge. And since Valeria has previously promised if she died and Conan needed her help to defeat the powers of darkness, well..

They don't get much more magical than this.  You have to summon some serious powers to defeat a big time wizard like Doom, and Conan is going to need every bit of it.

So I'll leave just a bit of stuff for you to check out, but since Conan returns in the sequel you know somehow he's gonna win.  But just how is worth the wait.

Conan the Destroyer (1984):

The ensuing years since Conan defeated the power of Thulsa Doom and his minions ad lost his great love Valeria have not been easy for Conan.  He wanders the world looking for things to help him deal with his loss, but nothing seems to fill the void. At the time of the beginning of this film, he is just an itinerant thief, working with a fellow thief, Malak (Tracey Walter).

Into his world comes a band of soldiers who are intent upon, not killing him, but capturing him. He is able to fend them off fairly well, well enough that the leader of the band stops the fight.  The leader turns out to be a queen, Taramis (Sarah Douglas), who has been seeking a champion for a quest.  And she has the right bait to lure Conan, since power and money are not an incentive.  She promises him, at the outset, that she can bring back Valeria from the dead.  And, Conan, being a lovesick mourner (as well as not as cynical as I would be), falls for her bait.

So what is this quest?  Conan is hired to accompany Taramis' niece, Jehnna (Olivia D'Abo), on a journey to retrieve a key that will be used to revive the god Dagoth.  

It is a convoluted myth, but basically Jehnna is the prophesied girl who is the only one who can actually touch said key.  Conan will accompany Jehnna, and Bombaata (Wilt Chamberlain), Taramis' captain of the guards, on this quest.  

What neither Conan, or for that matter Jehnna, know is that Taramis is trying to fulfil a prophecy that will bring a god back to life, but that will require the sacrifice of Jehnna, the "virgin" that so often shows up in these kinds of legends.

 And, also, it turns out, Taramis has no intention of fulfilling her promise to Conan (whether she could or not). She instructs Bombaata to kill Conan once the key is retrieved.

So we begin the journey, Conan, Jehnna, Bombaata and Malak.  But along the way we will acquire a few other travelers, including the wizard friend from the previous adventure (Mako), who has since acquired a name, Akiro.  Akiro has to be rescued, however, since he is currently the main course of a feast for cannibals.

Also, in a village, they come across a woman who is chained and fending off six tormenters.  She is the last of a band of marauders that had attempted to raid the town..  After helping her (simply by unchaining her), Conan and the band ride on.  But the woman, Zula (Grace Jones) follows and wants to join with Conan on his quest.

The first step is to somehow get in to the castle of Thoth-Amon (Pat Roach), which is located out in the middle of a lake (and since Thoth-Amon is a wizard, guarded by some serious magic).  Conan insists they wait until morning to try their attempt, but Thoth-Amon has other ideas.  He turns into a giant bird and captures Jehnna.  (Using some pretty cheesy special effects to accomplish it...) Leaving the rest of the band to figure out how to rescue her and complete the quest of retrieving the key they came for.

They invade the castle, but are greeted by far greater magic than they have encountered yet.  Conan has to fight a creature in a room full of mirrors.  A creature comes out of each mirror and combines to form one creature, one that seems almost impervious to anything Conan can try to defeat it.  The solution to it's defeat is not necessarily ingenious (in fact in retrospect it seems kind of cheesy) but it is a satisfying solution.  (And I won't give it away, but I bet even if you've never seen the movie you can guess how to defeat this creature.)

It turns out that the creature's death also results in the death of Thoth-Amon, who had used magic to make himself the creature.  So now Conan and company can retrieve the key they came for.

The next part of the journey should be without Conan, since this is the point that the queen gave Bombaata instructions to dispatch him.  But Conan has other plans.  Bombaata, for his part, manages to convince Conan that the queen's guards have attacked on their own, not by orders of the queen.  Conan, if anything, gullible to subterfuge, believes him.  So the crowd continues on its way to the next quest, which is to use the key they got to retrieve the real relic they were after.  A cavern, and a big stone door that requires the strength of both Conan and Bombaata to open.  (So it turns out that it's a good thing Bombaata and the guards didn't succeed.)

Inside the hidden room is the horn of Dagoth, and an inscription which Akiro translates and discovers the ultimate destiny both of Jehnna and the horn.  But when Akiro tells Conan of the writing he dismisses it.  

Eventually Bombaata manages, he thinks, to trap the rest in the cavern and escapes with the girl.  but since this is Conan, the rest manage to escape and decide to go back to the city to try and stop the queen's evil plans.

The rest is the battle that occurs after the horn is replaced and the statue of Dagoth is revived.  But in order to complete the rite, you remember, Jehnna the virgin must be sacrificed.  Of course, if the rite is not completed as it is written things could go awry. Which of course is what happens.

So how does Conan defeat the evil forces?  Watch the movie!

It's too bad that the saga did not continue from here.  But then if it had we would have missed out on a few other great movies that Schwarzenegger did from here on out.  But it was not necessarily the end of Conan on film.  There was a 2011 reboot with Jason Momoa as the titular character.  But since it failed to even recoup it's production money at the box office, that pretty much torched a Momoa sequel. But we can always keep our hopes up, because Hollywood never lets a budget deficit completely bury a potential possibility of new reboots.

Well, folks, time to head out for home (wherever home may be).  Keep an eye out for those wizards, you never know what they might be up to.

Quiggy

Stone Face Does Comedy?

This is my entry in the Sixth So Bad It's Good Blogathon host by Taking Up Room

 

So you're asking: "'Stone Face'?  Who the hell is 'Stone Face'?

Well, a few years ago I did a post on Sylvester Stallone doing two movies (Stone Face Vs. the Russians) which, coincidentally, was for another So Bad It's Good Blogathon. In it I made some jesting comments that Stallone never cracked a smile in his entire career.  I could be wrong.

It's a sure bet that not many have cracked a smile over Stallone's comedy career, however.  I mentioned this to a friend at work the other day while listening to a podcast review of Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot! that Stallone's was best at comedy when he wasn't trying to do comedy.  Along with Rhinestone, both movies stand as milestones in the dumpster of Stallone's career when he tried to do comedy.  Both movies are ranked among the worst movies of all time. 

As stated in that previously noted review, Stallone has been the "victim" of numerous Razzies (The Golden Raspberry Awards) for worst actor.  I don't always agree with John Wilson, the creator of the award, and many times I think that Wilson just has it in for Stallone.  But then, I like the kinds of movies that Stallone does (at least the ones where he is trying to be a tough guy)

But Stallone as a comedy star?  Not exactly the best career decision.  That said, both of these movies are entertaining in their own right.  Don't think that just because I am being a little critical of his comedy career that I don't like them in their own context as Stallone films. But I still think that Stallone should stick to what he does best, punching bad guys and obnoxious a-holes in the face.  (Which he DOES do in these two films, just not often enough).

Rhinestone and Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot! were separated by an 8 year string of the kind of movies most of us come to expect from Stallone (including the two I reviewed in the previously mentioned post). During that time we also got Cobra, Lock Up and Tango and Cash, all pretty good Stallone tough guy movies.

Since Stallone has famously disassociated himself from Rhinestone, you would have thought maybe he'd be a little reluctant to delve into another comedy.  And maybe he was.  But here's a tidbit for you.  At the time of Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot! Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger were in an intense rivalry for box office status.  The reason that Stallone wanted to do Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot! was because he wanted to put one over on Schwarzenegger because he thought the The Governator really wanted the role.  It turns out that Arnold got Stallone to do it on purpose by just pretending to be interested (as he has pointed out in several interviews, post film).  

So is Stallone actually funny (or at least believably funny) as a comedy star? You have to watch to find out.  

 

 

 

 

Rhinestone (1984):

(Note: In the opening credits of this film it says it is based on the Glen Campbell song "Rhinestone Cowboy". If you know the song, you'll probably think they should have added "loosely" before the word "based"...)

 The scene is New York City.  Home of one of the biggest country music venues in the nation. 

Or at least in the mind of it's owner, Freddie Ugo (Ron Liebman).  Ugo is a slimeball, prominently foreshadowed by his first line in the movie.  He arrives in a diamond studded limousine where an employee opens his door and greets him with a "Good evening, Mr. Ugo".

"It's always a good evening when you're rich, kid."

Appearing at his nightclub is Jake Farris (Dolly Parton).  She struggles through her nightly set, having to share the stage with Ugo's "amateur night" which includes whatever new sensation that he can find to get him even richer.  Tonight it is Elgart Brunson (Russ {or also Rusty}Buchanan, who was actually a decent singer. He was involved with several bands in the 70's and 80's.).  Elgart plays a song he wrote about a girlfriend who died in a horrible way. And he sings horribly himself. (Kudos to Buchanan for pulling it off.  This is one of the funnier parts of this film.)

Ugo has a contract with Jake to appear at his nightclub, but Jake wants out.  Ugo, never one to miss an opportunity to be a sleazeball, tells her she is committed to the contract, but he could be convinced to null it under the right circumstances.  Jake tells him, rather impetuously, that she could turn anybody into a country star in two weeks, and Ugo takes her up on the bet. If she succeeds, he will tear up the contract.

On the other hand, if she fails, she has to sign on for another 5 years.  And she has to go to bed with him.  (I told you he never misses an opportunity to be a scumbag. I mean, just in case you as the audience, miss the obvious, look at where is eyes go when he is chatting with Jake.  Her eyes are a little farther up, Freddie...)

And he gets to pick the unwitting victim that Jake will have to miraculously turn into a star. Enter stereotypical abrasive New York cabbie, Nick Martinelli (Sylvester Stallone). Nick is in the process of delivering a Japanese tourist group to a spot they didn't even know they wanted to go. They started out for a sushi bar, but Nick convinces them to change their minds, (and not necessarily willingly...)

Backed into a corner and unwilling to sleep with Ugo (even if it was just "sleeping"), Jake finds herself saddled with a man who wouldn't know the difference between a honky tonk and a Tonka truck. And has to find a way to not only get him acclimated to the country music scene, but squeeze out a modicum of talent that will get her the win in the bet.

Of course, the fly in the ointment is Nick doesn't even like country music. Or hillbilly lifestyle as we find out.  Because in an effort to get Nick into country music shape, Jake takes him back to her hometown in backwater Tennessee.

Talk about a fish out of water.  Here's your typical brash New York City Italian dropped in the middle of hillbilly heaven (or hell, depending on your point of view.) Jake introduces Nick to the down home crowd, her friends and her family in good old back home Leiper's Fork. (And, believe it or not, that's a real town in Tennessee. And was the location for some of the Tennessee portions of this film).

Don't miss the debut of Nick in Tennessee.  He sings "Devil with a Blue Dress" and gets the reaction from the crowd that you'd pretty much expect. So Jake has her work all cut out for her. (Two weeks?  Phttt. Piece of cake...)

Nick is on his way, learning the "proper" way of eating (like mixing your peas and potatoes together, and saving your biscuits for dipping in your gravy). And making new friends, like Jake's former boyfriend, Barnett (Tim Thomerson). But don't mention that name around Jake. Their relationship was not what you might call amicable.

The next time Nick gets in front of a crowd he has improved somewhat. He sings a song called "Drinkenstein". Which you've got to see to believe:

The upshot is Nick needs a little more work (obviously). But ultimately Jake does manage to get Nick into some semblance of cowboy shape.  But is he good enough to take on the rough crowd back in New York City, or good enough to capture the prize of getting Jake out of her contract with sleazy Freddie? Well, that all depends on whether he even makes it to the stage... Because before the movie is over there is one final problem. Jake reveals that she hasn't got the kind of confidence in Nick's new found career, even though he thinks he's hot patootie.

When Jake decides she has to forfeit and goes to Freddie to concede, Nick has to ride out to rescue her, like "a rhinestone cowboy, riding out on a horse in something like a star-spangled rodeo". (Had to justify the "based on" portion of the credits, after all...)

And then he has to win over the audience. But he decides to do it his way.  And his way ends up being a foreshadowing of the future of what country would transform into today. (i.e. rock posing as country.)

This movie is not all as bad as it sounds.  Really.  Is it on the level of, say, Blazing Saddles (a movie I consider tops in comedy)? No. But it will win you over as a decent transformation type film.  If you give it a chance.

Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot! (1992):

Joe Bomowski (Sylvester Stallone) is your average detective on your average police force in your average big city. (Well, average for gung ho cop movies anyway.)  The movie opens with Joe and his partner, Tony (John Wesley) on a stakeout.  They are awaiting the arrival of "the bad guys" who, as usual, are "always late". And, as usual, when they do arrive, there is a shootout, and as usual, the partner gets shot.  And, as usual, the main cop shows off his impulsive personality by doing some rather impressive shooting of things that shouldn't be victim of his shooting. (He shoots out the chains holding up a sign.  Poor sign.  What did it do to deserve this treatment?)

 After the shoot out we see Joe, frustrated, trying to call his mother.  Mom (Estelle Getty) is packing for a visit and ignores his call because for the last five times she has planned to come visit he has called her to say this is a "bad time for a visit." 

Joe has a romantic interest, his lieutenant in the police force, Gwen (JoBeth Williams). Gwen doesn't really believe him when he tells her that he was trying to call mom.  She thinks there is another woman. (Of course she does).

When Mom finally arrives on the plane we find out why Joe has such an issue with her.  Mom, loving Mom as she is, seems to have spent the entire plane trip talking about her Joey and showing the flight attendants, passengers, and anyone else who will listen, pictures of her son, in diapers. (No, not an adult in diapers, just as a baby. Get your mind out of the gutter...)

While driving her to the apartment, a radio call comes on stating that there is a suicide jumper. (Why is it that many of these cop movies involve a scene with a suicide jumper?  And why do they always seem to play it for laughs?) Of course, Mom has to jump into the fray and try to help.

Mom increasingly becomes annoying (after all, she can't just let Joe continue to live in his untidy apartment, or eat the decidedly less nutritious fare he is used to...) At one point she decides that Joe's gun is too dirty, so she cleans it.  How? With a mixture of Clorox, Ajax and Comet... (No, I don't have any idea whether that combination is lethal, and I doubt whether the writers researched it to find out.  So don't try it at home.)

The gun, of course, is ruined. (I don't know if it really is ruined, but it has to be for this part of the plot to advance, so...) So while Joe is at work, Mom heads out to find her Joey a new gun.  But the pawn shop insists on following the rules.  It will take two weeks before she can actually buy the gun. (It's called a "cooling off" period so you can't just buy a gun and shoot someone on impulse.)  But a customer in the shop wants to be helpful.  The customer (Dennis Burkley) helpfully takes her into the alley where he and his partner have an armory of automatic weapons.  And sells her one.

But the guns were stolen from another set of hoodlums.  Hoodlums who have been watching the two. And they are given the word by their boss to reclaim their merchandise.  Mom witnesses the hit and murder.  Now, since Mom is a material witness to a crime, she is going to have to stay until it's resolution... an extra two or three weeks... Poor Joe.

And Mom, being what mothers are (at least what mothers are in movies, anyway). has Joe's interests at heart.  So she withholds evidence of what she really saw so she can share it with Joe and hopefully get him a promotion, as well as improve his relationship with Gwen.

Much of the rest of the film involves the kind of things that are bound to happen when a overly pampered son (who is highly resistant to the over-pampering) has to TRY to get his mother to let him live his own life, but mom keeps finding ways to help (and he doesn't want the help.  Need?  That's a different story).

It turns out that the gun Mom bought was part of a stash of guns that were supposed to have burned up in a warehouse fire,  And behind it all is the Mr. Big of the movie, a sleazy big shot corporation executive named Parnell (Roger Rees).  Rees has cropped up over the years as a comedic villain or at least an unappealing character.  He was the sheriff of Rottingham in Robin Hood: Men in Tights and two stints on TV, one as Lord John Marbury in "The West Wing", and as Robin Colcord on "Cheers".

It seems Parnell had the fire intentionally set, not only to collect on the insurance, but also to illegally sell the guns.  And a couple of the cases of guns were stolen by the hoods that tried to sell Mom a gun early in the movie.

All's well that ends well, as they say, as Joe, with the help of Mom, prevent Parnell from leaving the country with the contraband.  And spoiler alert! we find out in the end that Joe finally proposed to Gwen and they are engaged. (A deleted scene on the DVD shows the proposal scene, but it was cut from the theatrical release. Watching it, I can see why.  It wasn't all that funny.)

So here is the skinny on Stone Face in comedy.  I still say he should stick to action, with the occasional comic barbs in certain situations.  But as for the fact that they are considered some of his worst movies? I would have you go watch Oscar (another comedy), or even The Specialist (not a comedy) before you decide that.

Well, that brings us to the time we need to leave the drive-in.  They are already shutting down the lights and blasting "Drunkenstein" through the speakers.  And my mom is texting me to see if I'll stop to get some milk. Drive safely, folks.

Quiggy

Respect the Fedora

 

 

 

 

 

How I got here:

Do you remember where you were in the summer of 1981?  Some of you may not have even been born yet, admittedly.  Me, I was 19, on my way to my 20th birthday later that year.  But I still remember the first time I saw Raiders of the Lost Ark. (Note: that was the full title when it was first released.  It didn't garner the additional designation of Indiana Jones and the part until the release of the boxed set in 1999.)

I was visiting a college friend one weekend and, on the way home, I decided to check out the movie which had been out for a couple of weeks by that time. I remember thinking it was a great adventure.  I was talking to my sister and apparently we went to see it together.  But I'm pretty sure i must have convinced her to go after seeing it the first time.

I have always like these kinds of movies.  So by the time Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom rolled into theaters, I was ready for the next installment.  Doom did not impress me, but it didn't disappoint me enough to turn me off of the franchise. (My sister no longer went to movies with me by this time, so I only saw it alone).

By the time Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade hit theaters I was ready to try to get back into the story.  By that time I was a student at what was then called Southwest Texas State University ( it has since changed to just Texas State University).  I was involved with a campus Christian group which was preparing for it's annual leadership conference in Washington D.C.  As a group, several of us went to see Crusade on the last night before we were to start our trek to D.C.

Everyone in the group greatly enjoyed Crusade. It would be 20 years before another installment of Indiana Jones came along. By that time, Harrison ford, who has played the adult Indiana for the entire run, was 66.  I had become jaded by then, since I was in my late 40s, and just couldn't wrap my brain around an aging old man playing a character who was supposedly still spry.

Note: I really have no idea how old Indiana Jones is supposed to be in any of the films.  Given that he is old enough to be a Boy Scout in 1912 at the beginning of Crusade, I estimate he was probably born in the late 90's.  For argument's sake and a point of reference, lets just put it at 1897.  That means he was in his late 30's/ early 40's for the first three movies and 60 by the time of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.  In comparison, Ford was about 40 in 1981 and mid 60's by 2008. OK, so at least they aren't trying to get away with much.  But, still...

Anyway, as a result of that trepidation (and the fact that I was dealing with glaucoma which severely limited my movie going enjoyment and experience) it wasn't until after it was released on DVD that I finally got to see Crystal Skull. 

Despite all that, I am, as of the start of this entry, on the verge of going to see the new release, Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny. Ford is 80 at the time of this and his character, if what I read on wikipedia is right, is 72 (based on the calculation I arbitrarily made for his birth above).  If being a 60 year adventurer seemed a bit too much, I am having a REALLY hard time accepting a 72 year old, but I will at least approach it with an open mind.  (see the last entry in this post for a follow-up to this initial thought.) 

Note: I wrote the last paragraph prior to going to see the new movie.  Here a few days later, as I finish this entry I still have some problems with accepting the 70+  character acting like a 40 year old, but what the hell, it's only a movie.

 

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981):

 1936: The saga starts of slam bang with Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) attempting to find a sacred idol.  He is accompanied by Satipo (Alfred Molina).  (For some reason I keep hearing Jones call him "Sapito" Not sure if this is a character error or if they mistakenly misspelled it in the credits...)  Anyway, Jones has to maneuver a trap laden cavern to get to the idol.  But success is fleeting, as when he exits the cavern he is stopped by the natives and Rene Belloq (Paul Freeman), a rival archaeologist with less scruples than a spider with a flytrap.  Belloq takes the idol away from Jones and Jones is left to escape the natives empty handed.

Back at the university where he is a professor, Jones and his boss, the dean of the university, Marcus Brody (Denholm Elliot), are approached by two men representing the U.S. government.  It seems that an old professor from Jones' university student days is being sought for an artifact that the Nazis want, to help them find a sacred relic, the Lost Ark of the Covenant. The Ark, a sacred Jewish relic, has been lost for centuries, but the Nazis think they might have a line on how to find it.  The reason they want the ark is it just might be the most powerful aid to help them win the war. Jones is recruited to find the artifact they seek before they do.

The daughter of the old professor, Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen) , might know it's whereabouts so Jones heads to Nepal, her last known whereabouts.  But the Nazis also know where Marion is, and the villainous Nazi Toht (Ronald Lacey) is sent to her location. Although the Nazis are not successful at retrieving the artifact, they do get some help. Toht gets burned by the red hot artifact, searing half of the writing on his hand.  Note to self: Never try to pick up a metal object that has been sitting near a red hot fire for several minutes... (not that I needed to be reminded, but apparently Toht did.)

 Armed with the relic, Jones and Marion head to Cairo to meet up with Sallah (John Rhys-Davies), an ally who is one of the many employed by the Nazis for a dig near the site of the ancient city of Tanis, where the lost ark is thought to be located.  Coincidentally (or not, this is the movies, after all), also on hand at the dig is Belloq.  But, as Jones discovers, they are digging for the Ark in the wrong place.  (Remember Toht and his unfortunate tattoo?  It seems he has only 1/2 the information needed to discover it's location.)

Using ALL the information, Jones discovers the true location of the Ark and rescues it from it's sandy crypt.  But, then, you know that's not all the story. The last 1/3 of the movie involves Jones rescuing the ark, losing it, rescuing it again and losing it, until the final confrontation where Belloq tries to initiate a Jewish ritual before opening the ark.

Raiders of the Lost ark ranks as #2 on my list of ranking the films.  Most lists I saw put it at #1, but I chalk that up to people who never forget their first love (or their first introduction to the character of Indiana Jones.)

 

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984):

 The second installment of the series actually takes place a  year or so before the events of Raiders. At the beginning, Jones is in Shaghai to exchange a relic to a Chinese big wig (read: mobster) named Lao Che (Roy Chiao) for a valuable diamond.  The exchange takes place at Lao Che's nightclub where the main attraction is a singer named Willi Scott (Kate Capshaw).

Of course, Lao is not about to play fair. He poisons Jones and demands the diamond back in exchange for the antidote.  Chaos breaks out as Jones and Lao's henchmen run amok.  Jones escapes the bar with Willi and boards a plane.  But the plane is owned by Lao and the pilots desert the plane in mid-flight.  Setting up the plot, as Jones and Scott and Jones's diminutive partner, Short Round (Ke Huy Quan) have to desert the plane, too, before it crashes.

They are helped to a native Indian village where devastation has occured.  The village's sacred stone has been taken, as well as the children of the village.  Jones is given the task of retrieving the stone from it's captors.  This leads the band the the palace of Pankot, where the residents are under the spell o of Mola Ram (Amrish Puri), an Indian shaman trying to re-institute the worship of Kali, the god of destruction and change in the Hindu religion, as well as the Thugee cult which was dedicated to ridding the country of it;s British rule.

Mola Ram and his Thugee cult are using the children as slave labor, mining the area for more of the sacred stones needed to complete a ritual that will put Kali in full power.  There is a lot of a religious aspect to this whole scene, something which it had been already established that Jones didn't subscribe to, but he does have enough knowledge to know what is going on.  His goal to achieve the release of the children and the retrieval of the village's sacred stone are hinged to the cult practice of human sacrifice

In case you didn't know, Jones is successful in the end, despite the interference of Mola Ram (and on occasion, Willi).

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom ranks as #5 on the list.  A lot of that has to do with the less than believable plot, but a good portion of it is attributed to Capshaw as Willi.  That is not necessarily a bad mark on her performance, she isn't bad as an actress.  But her character is the most annoying, shrill and self-centered woman I have ever seen on film. Personally, I would have shoved her out of the plane early on. If Capshaw is even remotely like the character she plays I fell sorrow (and respect) for Spielberg for putting up with her for all these years. (But she probably isn't anything like Willi in real life.)

 

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989):

 We get some background to Indiana Jones' character in the early part of the movie.  In 1912 he is a Boy Scout (played by River Phoenix) who happens upon a grave robbing scene while on a camp out with his Boy Scout troop.  He retrieves the Cross of Coronado only to have to give it up.  Jones' father makes an appearance, although we don't actually see who it is until later in the movie, (but you can't miss Sean Connery's voice if you are familiar with him.  Note: there's a reason why you don't see him.  That's not actually Connery in the scene.  But his voice was dubbed in.)

During the chase to get the Cross back we are introduced to many of the familiar quirks and accoutrements of the character, such has how he acquired his fear of snakes as well as how he got his trademark fedora and whip.  27 years later Jones reacquires the cross and defeats the man who originally took it from him.

In the new installment the story is started off by the fact that Walter Donovan (Julian Glover) is on a quest to find the Holy Grail (the legendary cup that Christ drank from at the Last Supper as well as caught the blood as he was dying on the cross.) Jones' father was the expert on the trail, but it has turned out he has disappeared, so Donovan entreats Jones to take up the quest where his father left off. He makes this journey with his dean of the archaeology department, Marcus Brody (with Denholm Elliot reprising his role from Raiders).

Jones ends up in Venice where he meets Dr. Elsa Schneider (Alison Doody) who helps him locate key artifacts in his quest.  But it turns out, as will be seen later, that her loyalties lie with an entirely different set of principles.  Need a hint?  This is 1938, and they ARE in Europe, and she is Austrian... Also during this trip, Jones meets up with the nefarious villain of the piece. (No, not Hitler, himself, although Jones does manage to meet him in person briefly.) No, this is Toht's (remember Toht from Raiders?) counterpart, SS Colonel Vogel (Michael Byrne, making him the second Nazi villain played by an English actor, to perfection I might add).

In the process, Jones finds and frees his father from captivity in a Nazi fortress and the two go off in quest of the Grail with the help of Jones, Sr.'s Grail diary. Using all the clues that are found, they locate the hiding place of the Grail, but Jones has to alter his perceptions slightly when it comes to navigating the booby-trap laden passage to the hiding place.

Last Crusade  gets the #1 spot in my list of the best in the series. Sean Connery's prescence as Jones' father boosts it up past Raiders in my opinion.  Plus the adventure gets an added bonus because of the Grail legends that abound in it.  Personally, I'd much prefer to find the Grai than the Ark of the Covenant if I were a true historian (rather than the amateur one I am today. Can't call myself a real historian since I never finished getting my degree in history...)

 

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008):

It's 1957. Jones has been taken hostage by Russians.  He is given the task of finding one crate in a warehouse full of them. Like finding a needle in a haystack?  Well, not necessarily.  The crate they want is one that came from an event in Roswell, New Mexico.

Yes, that Roswell, and if you are already ahead of me you already have an idea what's in the crate.  So the head of the Russian contingent, Dr. Irina Spaiko (Cate Blanchett) and her KGB comrades take possession of the crate, despite the heroic efforts of the (60 yer old) Jones trying to stop them.  Jones escapes but ends up hiding out in a fake town, one built for a nuclear test site.  Moments before the bomb goes off he hides in a refrigerator and survives. (Not likely, if you ask me, but you have to make some allowances when watching Indiana Jones movies).

After rescue he becomes a person of interest to the F.B.I. and is summarily dismissed from the university (although they term it as a leave with pay)

He decides to go to Europe, but while on the train he meets up with Mutt Williams (Shia LaBeouf) who gets him to help rescue his mother and an old colleague.  The colleague, Dr. Oxley (John Hurt), was on a search for a legendary Incan city of gold, El Dorado, when he ran into his own problems with the Russians. 

After retrieving a crystal skull in the lost grave of some legendary missing conquistadors, Jones and Mutt head off for another legendary city, Akator.  Of course, the russians are hot on his trail.  He is captured where he finds that his old colleague Oxley, who has apparently lost his mind, is a captive.  Not only that, but mutt's mother is a captive, too.  Guess who Mutt's mother is...?  If you said Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen) then you are absolutely right.  We also find out that Mutt's relationship to Jones is a lot closer than either of them suspected. (yeah, you are on the right track there...)

So the quest to return the skull is off and running as, as usual, Jones escapes, is captured (again), escapes (again) etc. (and just as a side note, how can so many supposedly expert soldiers with machine guns fire off so many bullets but not hit anybody?) Ultimately we arrive at Akator where it turns out that there is an aspect to this alien story that may not have been expected.

So why did (and still do) so many loyal fans of the first three films hate this film?  Maybe it was the whole alien theme that came into it.  The Jones saga "nuked the fridge" (a real term based on the "jump the shark" trope) when it added an alien theme to the mix, apparently.  It got good reviews from quite a few reviewers.  Roger Ebert, for one, gave it 3 1/2 stars. Fans, on the other hand, for the most part, rank this one as 5th in the 5 movie series. The new Dial of Destiny is already being hailed as #3.

As for myself, I liked this outing. Of course, I'm much more prone to liking a bit of aliens thrown into the mix.  Therefore, I put Crystal Skull in the ranking as #4.  Much better than Temple of Doom and neck and neck with the new Dial of Destiny for the 3 spot.  That ranking may change after I have seen Dial a second time, however, but I am giving the new one a better ranking just for it being new and fresh.

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023):

OK. so we are in the late 1960's now. As I said early in this post, based on the arbitrary date of birth I estimate that Indiana Jones must be close to 80).  Although at the beginning, it is still in the 40's, and through the magic of CGI and some make-up, Ford does look like he's still in his 40's.His dean, Marcus Brody, does not make an appearance, because, after all, I told you in the previous entry that the actor Denholm Elliot had passed away. Jones and his colleague, Basil Shaw (Toby Jones) are seeking to free the Lance of Longinus, a relic related to the Christian tradition.  It is supposed the spear used to pierce Jesus' side to cause him to bleed to death on the cross and make sure he was dead. It is of course the Nazis who are seeking the Lance. (as a side note: You know, for a group of people who rejected the trappings of Judeo-Christian beliefs, Hitler and his ilk sure did seem to seek out some very Judeo-Christian relics...)

Anyway, as the Nazi scientist Vollmer (Mads Mikkelsen) helping the Nazis locate the Lance points out, the relic they find is a fake.  But in the process, he has discovered 1/2 of the Dial of Archimedes. This is the relic that drives the story as 25 years later Vollmer,, who survived whatever criminal roundup gathered all those Nazi scientists back in '44, is still on the lookout for the other 1/2 of that dial.

You see, Archimedes apparently had discovered a way to travel through time and developed tis dial as a way to find fissures in the time-space continuum. Hut he had the wherewithal to know, apparently, that it could be used for evil purposes (like, oh I don't know, say, a former Nazi 700 years in the future seeking a way to change the outcome of the past...?)

Jones is accompanied this round by his goddaughter, the daughter of his former colleague Shaw, Helena (Phoebe Waller-Bridge).  Both he and Vollmer go on a quest trying to beat the other to find the other half of the dial.  What Jones intends to do with it may not be entirely certain although he does say that he would use it to go back and prevent his son, who had been killed while serving in the military, from ever signing up.

You would think, and rightly so, that Vollmer plans to go back and make sure the Nazis win WWII. But if you think you have a line on how, it's a good bet you'd be mistaken.  Since we don't find out his true objective until 3/4 of the way through the movie, I won't spoil it.  I will tell you that the dial is not just a worthless relic that has no power, however.  But what happens at the end was a pleasant surprise.  I concluded, just as the movie was nearing it's climax that they were going to throw a curve ball (to use a baseball metaphor), but instead got one hell of a slider (another baseball metaphor, and no baseball does not figure into the ending, but at this writing it is almost time for the MLB All-Star game, so it's on my mind...)

I told friends on Facebook that this movie is better than Temple of Doom and it is.I'm ranking it #3 on the list.  Another decent Nazi villain and the aspect of time travel push this one up the list. Always did like time travel stories.

So if you made it this far here is a summary of my rankings (which doesn't gibe with anyone else's that I could find, but it's my blog, so my list...)

1. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

2. Raiders of the Lost Ark

3. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny  

4. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

5. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

Hope you enjoyed the trip.  The old Plymouth is fired up and we are heading home now.  Drive safely.

 

Quiggy