Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Humor in a Movie Vein

This is my entry in the Things I Learned From the Movies Blogathon, hosted by Speakeasy and Silver Screenings.

I have a book I bought years ago,  Videohound's Complete Guide to Cult Flicks and Trash Pics, printed by Visible Ink Press. The book, like all others in the Videohound series, collects a plethora of movie titles that fit in a particular vein, in this case some of the most obscure and weird movies ever made, as well as some mainstream movies that have a cult following status.  (The Star Wars movies would fit in that latter category).  The first part of that designation would include such low budget trash flicks as The Brain that Wouldn't Die, Robot Monster and Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (all of which have been reviewed elsewhere on this blog.

I acquired my quirky sense of humor from watching some of these "trash pics".  It's part of my make-up.  I have a quick wit, although it's not always thought of by others as funny, I admit, especially when the person in question is the victim of the witty remark.  But it does make for some more or less clever observations if it works.

I read this book cover to cover, and one day it occurred  to me that I could make some rather snide (or witty, depending on your point of view) comments on some of the titles included in the book, without necessarily having been a viewer of said movies.  I have posted the following in one form or another on the web over the years.  These current comments are mostly new, however, because my memory is so bad I can no longer remember the original comments.  I hope you get a kick out of them, though.

Writer's Note:  The titles, in boldface, are actual titles of movies.  The comments in  (parentheses) are mine.  If the titles seem stupid, don't blame me.  If the comments, however, seem stupid, well.....ppptttthhh!  By the way, I know that more than a few of these selections were intended to be funny in their original form, but my comments are still valid.

Please Don't Eat My Mother (actually, we came for your daughter, Chuck!)

Fat Guy Goes Nutzoid (Look out!  He's got a pocket protector!)

Oh, Dad, Poor Dad!  Momma's Hung you in the Closet & I'm Feeling So Sad (But could you move over?  I need to get my shoes...)

(and yes, that says the star is Rosalind Russell...)

Alone in the T-Shirt Zone (Personally, I'd prefer to be alone in the WET T-shirt zone...)

Where's Poppa?  (Isn't he still hanging in the closet?)

And now for a triple feature:

Bad Girls from Mars
Bad Girls Go to Hell
(this isn't going to go well...)
Mars Needs Women
(See... I told you...)

 Hillbillies in a Haunted House (Also known as "Jethro Bodine Finally Scores"...)

Angels Hard as They Come (Imagine my disappointment.  It's not a porno movie...)

Prick Up You Ears (Shame on you for what you're thinking...)

Killer Tomatoes Eat France (And the rest of the world owes them a debt of "Thanks".)

Barn of the Naked Dead (Brought to you by the same people who gave you Silo of the Cross-Dressing Zombies)

Time for another triple feature:

It's Dead - Let's Touch It!
Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things
(But will they listen...?)
The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies
(I didn't think so...)

{ Couldn't find a poster for It's Dead - Let's Touch It!  but I did find the video.  It's only 30 minutes long, and a riot...}

Bloodsucking Pharaohs in Pittsburgh (The MLB Pirates baseball team's voodoo rite to win the World Series went haywire...)

The Rats are Coming!  The Werewolves are Here! (Break out the Flit!)

The Werewolf vs. the Vampire Woman (for those of you who like your wrestling on the kinky side)

Rabid Grannies (Gee, grandma, what big teeth you have...)

There's Nothing Out There (That squeak is just Spot's squeaky toy... Wait a minute, we don't HAVE a dog...)

Don't look behind you, now, but...

Attack of the Mushroom People
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
(Where are they coming from...?) 
Attack of the Killer Refrigerator
Well, they had to be coming from SOMEWHERE, didn't they?)

Attack of the Giant Leeches
Attack of the Crab Monsters
Attack of the 50 Foot Woman
Attack of the Puppet People
Attack of the Mayan Mummy
Attack of the Robots

Attack of the 60-Foot Centerfold
(Well, OK, maybe that one's not so bad.  Hmm... Where did I put those magic pills that Alice gave me...?)

This last one needs no comments.  It's title speaks for itself.

Night of the Day of the Dawn of the Son of the Bride of the Return of the Revenge of the Terror of the Attack of the Evil, Mutant, Alien, Flesh-Eating, Hellbound, Zombified Living Dead Part 2 (In Shocking 2D)

If you need stitching up after that, Dr. Frankenstein's office is just down the hall.



  1. Wait a minute.

    There is a Killer Tomato movie that takes place in France?! How did I not know this?

    Your post is pure delight. At first I thought most of these were made up, so I started googling them...and found they're REAL! (For example, who knew there was a movie about a killer refrigerator?)

    I'm sorry I missed you when I originally posted today's recap, but I included you ASAP. I don't want anyone to miss out on these titles – and your editorial comments.

    Thanks for joining the blogathon, and for broadening my film horizons! :)

    Now I shall resume watching "It's Dead Let's Touch It".

    1. I admit I could have come up with a few dozen titles on my own, some just a funny as these. However, I have no clue how to use an art program where I could fake movie posters, so that should have been a dead giveaway...:-D That is an interesting idsea though. I'm already committed to another idea for the "Imaginary Film" blogathon, but something along the lines of a parody of horror and/or sci-fi films would fit right in with my forte. Thanks for reading.

  2. Those triple title ones absolutely slayed me. All others genuinely tickled the funny bone.

    1. Thanks. I wasn't sure if my take on aligning the triple features would go over well.

  3. Ha! this is great, some incredible promises made in these titles and taglines. Thanks for taking part!

    1. There are a number I missed, in retrospect. Such as "Don't Look in the Basement" to which my response would have been "The attic ain't so hot either"... Glad you enjoyed them.

  4. Your barn/silo remark made me laugh out loud! And, oh that last title! These movies sound great for a rainy afternoon, when you need to rest your brain.
    BTW, the German comedy The Doll is on YouTube and out on DVD.
    Thanks for the comments!

    1. As I said in the introduction, some of them I've seen, but most I just found in the book and thought up asmusing comments based on the titles without the benefit of having watched them. Thanks for taking the time to read.

  5. OMG, this post is full of amazing titles. I have seen that book on the shelves at my local library and flipped through it, but haven't actually read it. I think I need to do so.

    1. Your library has it? I don't think my library has ANY of the Videohound books... I have several for my own library, though. Thanks for reading.

  6. I thank God I only saw a couple of these. These movies always reminds me of John Walters. Thoroughly enjoyed reading your comments and reading all these wild titles...Rabid Grannies LOL

    1. Some I'm actively looking for. I still want to see Please Don't Eat My Mother... Thanks for reading.


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