So here's a premise for you. Take one of the most beloved and iconic rock albums of all time, cast some then current 70's disco "icons" as characters, add in a bizarre plot that is loosely based on it, and foist it on the public as an ostensible tribute to a band that means more to many people than life itself.
What you get is a mess that is about as effective as a halfwit with a BB gun facing a rampaging onslaught of evil robots.
This film, which starred disco era icons, the Bee Gees, as the Henderson brothers who, along with their friend, Billy Shears, played by Peter Frampton (who probably should have known better) on a quest to achieve fame, and, as an added plot twist, retrieve the iconic instruments of a predecessor that had been stolen from the idyllic town of Heartland, U.S.A. The plot itself, however, is just the glue that binds together a host of 70's bands to do cover versions of Beatles songs culled from, mainly, their albums Abbey Road and, of course, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. This is what's known in the industry as a jukebox musical.
The definition of the term "jukebox musical" might require some definition to the newbie. A jukebox musical by strict definition is a musical which incorporates previously known songs, as opposed to original songs written for said musical. Most of the time, it's the songs drive the plot forward.
However, much like the later released Pink Floyd: The Wall there is not much dialogue in this film. In point of fact, almost nobody other than George Burns, who plays Mr. Kite, has any spoken lyrics. The film relies on the songs themselves to carry the story to it's ultimate conclusion. Note: Apparently there was additional dialogue, including speaking parts for the Henderson brothers, but the Gibb brothers couldn't pull off an American accent, and Peter Frampton, also British, wasn't much better, thus making the illusion of this taking place in the heart of the U.S.A. became an illusion that just didn't work.
Several other big name acts were either roped, or maybe even duped, into appearing in this film, as well as recording said cover versions of those classic songs. Now, admittedly, a couple of those covers were not entirely bad. I still, to this day, prefer Aerosmith's cover version of "Come Together" than the original Beatles version. But, tell me, is there anything that could be worse than Steve Martin's attempt at doing "Maxwell's Silver Hammer"?
The film actually had a predecessor in the form of an off-Broadway production in 1975, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band On The Road. As near as I can tell, based on the description of it on wikipedia, about the only thing it had in common with the movie version is that they were both derived from the original album. The stage production appears to have virtually the same selection of songs, however, so I can't say how close the movie was to the stage play.
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1978):
The film opens with a scene from World War I in August 1918, in a little village of "Fleu de Coup" (seriously...) as the Allies and the Central Powers are engaged in battle. As Mr. Kite (George Burns) tells it:
On to the scene of the battle marches an oompah band. And everybody stops fighting. And the war ends. (Really!) Hold on to your hats , folks. It gets even weirder... Apparently the band was instrumental (no pun intended) in solving the depression and even causing the end of WWII to boot. In 1958, a ceremony is held to inaugurate the installment of a weather vane that, claims Mr. Kite, "will always point to happiness... (as opposed to whichever way the wind is blowing...) At the inauguration, Sgt. Pepper has promised to play one last tune for good old Heartland. (and if Sgt. Pepper was in his 20's in 1918, he seems to have aged 70 or 80 years in the 40 years since...) Sgt. Pepper, sadly keels over on stage mid tune. And Mr. Kite's response? "Oh, well..." Sgt. Pepper leaves his instruments to the town as supposedly, as long as the instruments stayed in Heartland "humanity would live happily ever after".
All of this in the first five minutes of the movie....
20 years Sgt. Pepper's favorite grandson, Billy Shears (Peter Frampton) forms a band with three of his friends, the Henderson brothers (portrayed by the Bee Gees). They play to the hometown crowd at Heartland, singing With a Little Help from My Friends.
There's a rumor that B.D. Hoffler of "Big Deal Records" has an interest in this new band. A lot of the credit for this development can be put on the shoulders of Dougie Shears (Paul Nicholas), Billy's avaricious and opportunistic cousin. It is through him and his love of money that much of what happens to our heroes happens in the first place.
The next song we get is Fixing a Hole in which we get George Burns doing a soft shoe dance and "singing" (sort of). Burns had never really been known for his Euterpian abilities, so it's no surprise that his cover is basically what is called "talk-singing". And Getting Better exemplifies how life is changing for the quartet. Billy and his true love, Strawberry Fields (Sandy Farina), have a final night together before Billy is due to leave to embark on his career. They sing Here Comes the Sun as dawn breaks over Heartland.
Mean Mr. Mustard (Frankie Howerd) makes his appearance. His goal, apparently as a lackey for some as yet unknown evil entity, is to steal the treasured instruments of Heartland. The motto of this presence "We Hate Love! We Hate Joy! We Love Money!"
The group boards a hot air balloon for the trip to Hollywood (really!). But at some point either they collide with or are magically transported to a better form of transport, a jet airplane. And they get to meet the head of Big Deal Records, B. D. Hoffler (Donald Pleasance, who has to share screen presence, if not billing credit, with his toupee...) During the limo drive and an extremely well catered extravaganza (and by "well-catered" I don't mean the food...), there is a back and forth between all present during a cover of I Want You (She's So Heavy).
After signing their contracts at the dinner, which (probably intentionally) brings to mind the typical "deal with the devil" contract signing of a movie version of the Faust tale, the band is on their way. And if that Faust reference was anything prescient, it plays out that way in the boys' case. For the next morning, as the caption reads, they begin "a difficult one week climb from obscurity to stardom". They become huge hits immediately, and have a 37 night run at the Forum, which is "sold out" for every night...
Good Morning, Nowhere Man, Polythene Pam, and She Came In Through the Bathroom Window exemplify the hold that the band has on it's adoring public. But back home in Heartland, things are not looking too good. Mean Mr. Mustard, who is under the influence of a body now revealed to be "F.V.B.", is preparing to put into action his devious deed, to steal the town's cherished instruments. Aided by The Brute (Carel Struyken), he ties up Mr. Kite and makes away with said artifacts. He is instructed to distribute the instruments to various locations.
The cornet is taken to Dr. Maxwell Edison (Steve Martin) and the tuba to cult leader Father Sun (Alice Cooper). And the saxophone of course is due to go to F.V.B. Mustard gets to keep the drum. What the importance of each getting which instrument is, however, is never revealed. As a result of the instruments going missing poor Heartland becomes a den of debauchery and vice (in other words, Las Vegas. A low-rent Las Vegas, anyway...) Strawberry takes a bus to Hollywood to find Billy and the boys and tell them of the tragedy that has befallen Heartland.
She arrives in Hollywood to see the opening act for the boys, Lucy and the Diamonds (Stargard) playing, of course, Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. Strawberry tells Billy of Mr. Mustard's nefarious deed and the boys embark on a quest to retrieve the stolen instruments in Mustard's stolen van, which is conveniently there because Mustard followed Strawberry to Hollywood.
Their first quest is to retrieve the cornet from Dr. Maxwell, "a small time quack" who turns "ugly old corrupt people into handsome young corrupt people". And thus we get what is probably the worst cover version of the movie, Maxwell's Silver Hammer, in which Dr. Maxwell turns a slew of old people into what looks like his version of Hitler Youth. The boys arrive and engage Dr. Maxwell in battle, including a cheesy reenactment of the light saber battle of Darth Vader and Obi-Wan Kenobi from Star Wars. But they succeed in getting the cornet.
Then on to the next quest. They go to Father Sun, previously known as Marvin Sunk, who in a previous life was "an unemployed school crossing guard at the bottom of his life"... (Yeah, that would probably be the bottom for me, too...) He had an inspiration to get his revenge on his tormentors, the school kids, by brainwashing them for F.V.B. Why? Because, why else? He has the tuba that was stolen and the guys show up to do battle with him.
But Billy get a huge jolt of electricity in the battle and it takes Strawberry to revive him (and finally we get Strawberry Fields Forever sung by Sandy "Strawberry" Farina). There is still the saxophone to retrieve, so the quest must continue. But frustration takes over among the boys and they end up destroying the computerized portion of the van, thus losing a way to figure out where the saxophone was.
As Heartland descends into chaos and Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band starts to rack up concert cancellations, Dougie finally gets a good heart (maybe temporarily) and convinces B. D. to sponsor a benefit concert for Heartland. This concert would essentially have every big band name in the world descending to raise money to save the town, and maybe even the band. Dougie's newfound moral re-righting is short found as he and Lucy attempt to make off with the proceeds of the benefit however (You Never Give Me Your Money).
While the real band, Earth , Wind and Fire (the only act to appear in the movie under it's real name) perform a version of Got to Get You Into My Life, Mustard and the Brute manage to steal the van back, and the instruments, which are still inside.
Not only that, but they kidnap Strawberry to boot. The boys give chase in, what else, the hot air balloon... (Better add some jet boosters to that thing boys...) Meanwhile, on the van, Mustard, who has a crush on Strawberry, serenades her with When I'm Sixty-Four. The only thing that keeps this part from delving into cheese ball status is that Strawberry turns into a duet. God forbid we be subjected to two Frankie Howerd talk-singing solos...
At F.V.B. headquarters, we find out that F.V.B. stands for "Future Villain Band" (Aerosmith). "The evil force that would poison young minds, pollute the environment, and subvert the democratic processes... and worst of all, change Strawberry into a mindless groupie!" (Ye gods!) We finally get to the best cover of the movie, as the Future Villain Band performs Come Together. Billy battles the leader of the band and defeats him, but in the process, Strawberry is killed.
As Billy serenades Strawberry's body with Carry That Weight, and then wanders away in tears and memories as the strains of The Long and Winding Road play, and the Hendersons mourn for Billy's loss with A Day in the Life, it appears that not everything is going to end in a good world, at least not for everybody. Billy is so distraught that he takes a plunge off a tall building.
Oh, put a lid on those tears! This is a feel good movie! It ain't over yet! (And some of you may be groaning..."There's still more???") The miracle that HAS to happen to bring the feel good movie back from that dark edge occurs, when a good wind blows on the weather vane (remember the weather vane of the original Sgt. Pepper from the opening?) and it turns into none other than Sgt. Pepper himself (or in this case Billy Preston) who uses his magic to turn everything back to it's previously happy state (with Get Back), almost as if the events in the movie never happened.
But not, unfortunately, as if the movie itself never happened...
The finale recreates the album cover of the Beatles original album, with everybody who was anybody in the 70's (or at least anybody who would deign to appear in it) getting together to do a chorus of "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band". Check out the faces you will recognize in this scene, including Carol Channing, Cousin Brucie, Dr. John, Leif Garrett, Helen Reddy, Tina Turner, and Sha-Na-Na, just to name a few.
The movie was nominated for a Stinkers Bad Movie Award (a predecessor to the Razzies), but it lost to If I Ever See You Again (which I never saw, and probably won't see, based on it's story line...) Also in competition that year were Paradise Alley, Moment by Moment, and The Bad News Bears Go To Japan. Based on that lineup I'm thinking it was close voting between the winner and Moment by Moment. I kind of liked Paradise Alley, and really, the Bad News Bears sequel is not as bad as it's made out to be...
The sad part is, if it's not just hyperbole anyway, is that Universal apparently thought they had the next "Gone with the Wind" on their hands. In reality it was a virtual D.O.A. at the box office. It made back it's investment (barely), but the critics loathed it. As usual, my barometer of the critics is the Tomato-meter which gives this film a rating of 11%. The IMDb website, which gets the public reception of the film, gives it a 4.3 out of 10 based on public voting at the site.
OK, so this movie was not it's generation's Gone with the Wind. It probably wasn't even it's generation's Reefer Madness (although a little reefer before watching might improve it somewhat, I couldn't say). I do however say it is a much better movie than some of the stuff that Hollywood foisted on the public to try to take advantage of a popular genre or theme in the 70's. Don't believe me? I challenge you to sit through The Star Wars Holiday Special. Even Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park pales by comparison to cheese ball status to that corker...
The film was, needless to say, not very well received. George Harrison, one of the original Beatles, was quoted as expressing sympathy for the Bee Gees, and Frampton and producer of the film, Robert Stigwood. He thought the film "damaged their careers", saying that it was kind of like the Beatles trying to cover the Rolling Stones, the Rolling Stones did it better. Notwithstanding the chutzpah it took to emphasize how much better he and his band were than the artists in question, one could say that it was probably bound to fall short in the eyes of the adoring public of the Beatles. The premiere was attended by Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr. Notably not mentioned anywhere is that I guess John Lennon avoided it. But then, Lennon was so full of himself he probably didn't even attend the movies he was actually in...
Some interesting tidbits of information: Did you know that Kiss was originally approached to be Future Villain Band (the part that went to Aerosmith)? Apparently they thought the part would be bad for their careers and instead opted to make Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park, and you can draw your own conclusions about THAT choice... Some big names that chose to opt out of being involved in this film were Barry Manilow, Olivia Newton-John (who would have been Strawberry Fields) and Bob Hope (who would have been Mr. Kite).
The director, Michael Schultz, had a couple of good movies under his belt, going into this one. Both Car Wash and Greased Lightning are scheduled for my upcoming Semiquincentennial Movie Project next year, as well as Cooley High, noted as a great moment in black cinema. After this he would still have a career as a director, but most of his output was not on par with his earlier output, with much of it being episodes of TV shows. He was the director of Carbon Copy, however, which although not a huge hit, is notable as being the first big screen appearance of Denzel Washington. He also followed up with two films in 1985 that garnered some good reviews, Krush Groove and The Last Dragon.
If you want to compare this film to examples of how the idea of pairing popular music with a plot that actually works, I recommend the adaptation of the Who's rock operas Tommy or Quadrophenia. But even, staying in the 70's, a case could be made for either Godspell or Jesus Christ, Superstar. Neither of those incorporated previously popular songs, but the outcome was much better. And I can't pass up the opportunity to put a plug in for one of my favorite musicals, The Rocky Horror Picture Show. That list is by no means complete, but it's enough to get you started.
Well, folks, time to fire up the old Plymouth and head back to the good old staid homestead. Drive safely.
Quiggy
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