A Time to Die... or Maybe Not

 

 

 

 The future is uncertain... or is it?  What if we could know what the future holds? 

The trope of time travel in science fiction has at least two well-known themes.  One is that of the narrator who actually does the time traveling himself and relates his or her experiences for the audience.  Think  The Time Machine in which the protagonist has journeyed (in this case the future) and returned to let his friends (and us) know what the future holds. 

Another is that in which a mysterious stranger appears on the scene and claims to be from some distant future. In this case, most often anyway, this stranger is considered to be crazy, because, after all, time travel is not really possible, therefore the stranger must be delusional. Think 12 Monkeys as a good example of this theme.

Of course, as we know it now, time travel, at least in terms of the way it is accomplished in the science fiction trope, is impossible. We have the story of John Titor, a man who appeared on the scene in the late 90's, who claimed to be from the future, but whether or not he really was is debatable. Reading the link above will be more instructive, but in essence, his pronunciations of future events were not entirely accurate. He claimed that there would be a civil war in the U.S. in 2015, for example.

Of course, even he himself gave himself an out in case his predictions were proved untrue.  He said that we could change the future by changing whatever actions we took to another track. But did he really come from the future and we created an alternate timeline by our actions or was he just full of so much malarkey?

Time travel theory has so many rabbit holes one could go down.  The classic grandfather paradox, for example. If you could go back in time and somehow accidentally kill your own grandfather before he ever met your grandmother, you obviously would not have been born.  Therefore how could you have gone back in time to commit the act?  Theoretically any action you took on your travel back in time could seriously affect your present.  

But time travel theorists get around that by claiming your actions created an alternate timeline. One in which you actually did commit the act.  But the world you came back to would be altered, maybe for the better, but also maybe for he worst.  Ray Bradbury once wrote an excellent short story in which a character went back to the prehistoric era and accidentally killed a butterfly.  The world he came back to in the present was so seriously altered that it was unrecognizable.

I don't really want to get in to the possibilities of time travel here. I just wanted to prepare you for some musings that will happen in this blog entry as I discuss the story lines of the entries.

To get down to the meat of this entry, in 1984 we were treated to one of the best time travel movies ever made, The Terminator.. The story arc involves more than just the first movie (there have been as of this date 5 movies involving the story arc, of varying degrees of quality).  But the first one, which I saw in the theater, was my favorite. Note: Many lists say Terminator 2 is a better movie. But this is my blog, and therefore my opinion... 

After it came out, an author named Harlan Ellison claimed that the movie was WAY similar to two stories he had written, both of which became episodes of the classic TV series from the 60's, The Outer Limits. He sued. (He was a very litigious man., by all accounts.  He would apparently sue people at the drop of a hat).

The ultimate outcome was that James Cameron had to add a reference to Ellison in the credits when it was released on video.  But was his claim valid?  I wondered.  So I found both episodes and watched them to see how much similarity there was in the movie to his original stories.  Below are the two episodes, followed by a detailed review of the movie.  You can decide for yourself.

The Outer Limits "Soldier" (Broadcast date: Sept. 19, 1964):

In the far distant future two soldiers battle.  They are given instructions through their headsets to kill "The Enemy". They come to a final clash on a barren landscape.  

During the battle they are hit with what appears to be bolts of lightning and sent into a vortex.  One of the soldiers, Qarlo (Michael Ansara) ends up in modern day (1964) United States.

Because he is dressed oddly and because he seems to have a violent demeanor, he is immediately captured and confined to a prison / mental institution.  Since his language is unfamiliar, an expert in languages is brought in to try to figure out who he is and what he is saying. Eventually the expert (Lloyd Nolan) figures out that what he is speaking is a form of English, and that he is from the future.  He tries his best to "civilize" the man, since basically all he knows is his mission: to kill the Enemy.

In the end the expert removes Qarlo from his captivity and brings him into the normal world.

Meanwhile, Qarlo's "Enemy" finally escapes the vortex and finds his own way into the present, and he, too, is programmed to kill the Enemy, in this case Qarlo. The ultimate end is the two battle.  And destroy each other. 

The only real connection between this episode and The Terminator, as far as I can tell, is that the soldiers are from the future.  If that is the only connection, Ellison was full of shit.  I mean there must be dozens of stories about soldiers from the future traveling back in time, some that even predate his story.

 The Outer Limits "Demon with a Glass Hand" (Broadcast date:  Oct. 17, 1964):

In this episode we have yet another soldier. This one, Tent (played by Robert Culp), is one who awakes with no memory of who he was past "10 days ago". He only knows that someone (or some people are trying to kill him, and his only "friend" is a glass hand.  His hand, which has apparently replaced his real hand is only a partial one. It is missing fingers. He can communicate with the hand and asks it questions constantly.

When he asks it, at the beginning, who these people are and what to do, the hand tells him that the only way to defeat his pursuers is to remove a gold medallion that each carries. And that, to stay alive, his destiny is in his "whole hand".  Cryptic to say the least at this point. And staying alive is :easier said than done."

Immediately Trent captures one of the people and interrogates him.  Thus he discovers that his potential assassins are the Kyba and they come from the future. They are after him to get his hand, which supposedly holds all knowledge. And that he, Trent, is the last man on Earth. Well, obviously he is not the "last man" since this is taking place in the present. So maybe Trent isn't actually from the present time.

The captive reveals that the gold medallion is a device that keeps each assassin in the present, and when it is removed, that person actually doesn't die; he just returns to the future.  And Trent also wears a medallion, so Trent also comes from the future.  As the hand explains this to him, it reveals that the Kyba invaded Earth and had plans to annihilate the human race, but inexplicably, the entire human race vanished.

The secret is that the hand does have all the answers, but it can only function when it is entirely complete.  And the Kyben have the three missing appendages.  They in turn want the rest of his hand because, after all, it holds the key to finding those millions of future humans that disappeared. And to help them get to Trent they have put up a force field around the building from which there is no escape.  So he is all alone.

Well, not quite.  He finds a woman, Consuelo (Arlene Martel),  a human from the present in one of the offices.  So now he has an ally (or at the very least a hostage) to help him defeat the Kyba in the building. 

 

But he has to find and destroy the machine, called a "time mirror" that is a gateway for the Kyba to send back more assassins from the future. (Just a thought, though.  If these Kyba can send back soldiers to hunt Trent, and they have sealed off that one building so there is no escape, why couldn't they just send back 100, or even 1000 soldiers and just have done with it?)

The aliens kill Trent and capture him and Consuelo, and attach one of the fingers.  Thinking there is no threat they leave him and Consuelo alone, and go to await aliens who are coming through the time machine with the other two fingers.  Meanwhile the computer in Trent's hand tells Consuelo how to revive him.  You just THOUGHT he was dead.  As he gradually gets more of the missing appendages the computer in his hand becomes more able to help him find out exactly what he is doing here.  Which turns out to be finding a cure for a plague, one of the reasons the aliens need his hand. 

You see, the humans had created a plague that would destroy all life. Then they transcribed the human race into electronic circuits and put themselves on a thin wire.  Which is how they escaped the plague that is killing off the Kyba in the future.  And ultimately, Trent finds out that he is not a man, but a robot, with that wire imbedded in his body.

OK, at least this episode has some elements that are somewhat similar to the film.  But instead of a robot sent back to eliminate the leader of the rebellion, this robot was sent back to keep the strand of human life alive until that future date when the plague will have dissipated. The only question not really answered is why 1000 years in the past.  Why not just a 100 or so. Trent will have to live through not only the 1000 years, but another 200 beyond that before the Earth will be safe for the return of the humans.

And now we have the plagiarizing culprit...

The Terminator (1984):

The story begins in the future. A vast landscape in the middle of an ongoing battle.  In a brief prologue, before the title and credits run, we find out that, circa 2029 (that's only 4 years from this writing...), "the machines rose from the ashes of the nuclear fire. Their war to exterminate mankind has raged for decades, but the final battle would not be fought in the future. It would be fought here, in our present. Tonight..."  With just that brief synopsis to introduce to the concept, and the credits and title we segue to present day.

You probably know the drill already. A terminator, an indestructible android (played by the indestructible Arnold Schwarzenegger), appears in a flash of lightning. Nude. 

If you thought I was going to post the nude Arnie, sorry...

Apparently even androids can't use the time machine with clothes, since a little later a human comes through the same type of time transport and he too is nude.

The human is on the run from the cops from the get go.  He and the terminator are both seeking one Sarah Connor.  The terminator is systematically looking for Sarah, but apparently does not know the exact Sarah it is seeking, since it dispatches two of the three listed in the phone book. Luckily for her, (and us as the viewers of the film), the Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton) whom it is seeking are listed third of the three people named "Sarah Connor" in the phone book.

Apparently the human, whose name is Reese (Michael Biehn), knows which one is the real target since he tracks her down without bothering to look for the other two. Meanwhile, back at Sarah's apartment, the terminator busts in and wastes Sarah's roommate and her boyfriend.  Mission accomplished as far as the terminator is concerned... right?

Wrong.  At that moment Sarah, panicked because of the two dead Sarah Connors and believing some nutcase is whacking off anyone named Sarah Connor, calls her roommate and leaves a message on the answering machine.  Now the terminator is not only aware that there is still one Sarah to deal with, and by virtue of Sarah telling the roommate where she is, it has it's next destination.  Meanwhile, at the club where Sarah is hiding, she is staying because a Lt. Traxler (Paul Winfield) has told her to stay put, because after all, she is in a public place and no one is going to try anything in a public place. (Yeah, right.)

Both of the future boys end up at the club where Sarah Connor is and Reese blows away the terminator and tells her "come with me if you want to live". 

While on the run Reese tells Sarah what the situation is. Both he and the terminator are from the future.  He was sent back to protect her from the terminator, which is a cybernetic organism (cyborg) which had been sent back to kill her.  Eventually Reese will tell her why. Her unborn son, John Connor, is the leader of the resistance movement against the machines that are trying to take over in the future.  The machines figure if they can eliminate her before she has the son the resistance will be eliminated.

But not only does Reese have to deal with the terminator, he also has to deal with the present day cops, who eventually capture him and Sarah.  Of course, no one ca really be from the future so Kyle must be mentally deranged.  But the terminator (who probably would be also considered mentally deranged, if they could talk to him) stages a raid on the police headquarters, still trying to complete his mission.  Reese manages to use the chaotic distraction to free himself from his handcuffs and escape with Sarah.

While in hiding Reese tells Sarah a little about the future.  Although it is pretty bleak, there is still some hope, and most of it relies on the  tenacity of their leader, her as yet unborn son.  (I should point out that at this point she isn't even pregnant.  Remember that...)  The two hide out a a motel, and Reese leaves, instructing Sarah to let "no one know" where she is.  But she calls her mom and tells her.  Unfortunately, as you may have guessed, her mom is no longer in the picture.  She just told the terminator who, since he is all machine, has the ability to mimic her voice.

Meanwhile things develop back at the motel and Sarah and Reese develop a relationship that gets a bit intimate.  And thus, guess who the father of John is.  You get three guesses, but the first two don't count... So, ultimately we find out why John picked Reese as the man to go back in time to protect her.  (Ignore that time paradox that just came in to your head or the rest of the movie and the rest of the franchise will have no point.

No nude pictures here, either...

The terminator shows up at the motel and. of course, there is an obligatory car chase. The explosives that Reese rigged up have no affect on the pursuing terminator.  But just when things start to look bleak, Reese sets off a bomb that explodes the gas truck that the terminator was using to chase them and he and it go up in flames.

Movie over?  Yeah, right.  Keep thinking optimistically...

The terminator rises from the ashes.  (And this being before CGI, that skeleton of it's makeup is pretty impressive...)

The terminator follows Reese and Sarah into an automated factory where all that machinery is somewhat distracting to the terminator, but it is relentless. And once again Reese is able to seemingly defeat it.  But that's just an illusion... Reese unfortunately dies, but not that relentless S.O.B. 

Of course, Sarah finally finds that drive she needs and lures the terminator into a hydraulic press. And finally! Success!

OK, so the verdict is... The Terminator does have some parts of it that could be construed as somewhat inspiring of the story, but not much.  And yet, the director, rather than have a long drawn out legal battle, chose to capitulate.  I must admit it hurts some to watch this film and see that tag at the end "Acknowledgement to the works of Harlan Ellison".  If it had been me, being the combative personality that I am, I would have told Ellison "Go ahead.  Make my day." (Another movie that has no relationship to Ellison's work, but I bet if he could have found a sliver of opportunity, he wouldn't have hesitated...).

Note: I like Ellison as an author.  He wrote some fantastic stories.  But if he was as much an a-hole as history has made him out to be, I wouldn't have sat down and had a drink with him.

Well, time to fire up the old Plymouth and see if I can dodge those AI robots and make it home.  Drive safely.

Quiggy

Muscles and Steel

 Note; It wasn't planned, of course, since this blogathon was created a few months ago, but I think it's fitting that I should dedicate this entry to the memory of one one of the most iconic voices in Hollywood, James Earl Jones. Jones, in case you were unaware, left the scene earlier this week.  Not only did he give us the memorable voice of Darth Vader, but he played both good and bad guys with style, Go check out some of his classic roles.  (Here he was Thulsa Doon in the first entry of this double feature).

This is my entry in the Barbarians at the Gates blogathon hosted by Hamlette's Soliloquy and yours truly.

The barbarian movie begins (but not necessarily ends) with Conan.  There were a few others, to be sure that predated the two Arnold Schwarzenegger movies featuring the iconic warrior, but I would be willing to bet $$ it would never have taken off to the heights it did it if "The Governator" hadn't come on the scene.

Imagine, for a moment, if you will... Conan the Barbarian... starring...Charles Bronson.  Believe it or not, in the early 70's when this production first started getting batted around Hollywood, Chuck was one of the guys considered. Now Bronson would have been in his 50's, and I don't know for sure how buff he was then, but still...

Another was William Smith (who actually did get a brief role as Conan's father early in the film).  He was a bit younger than Chuck, by 10 years, but still. A mid-40's Conan? 

The third option, and by this time beefcake enough to have pulled it off, was... Sylvester Stallone.  Well, he was indeed turning to a muscular behemoth even in the  early 80's.   And he could have given Arnold himself a run for his money when it came to enunciating.  But I still don't think the swords and sorcery genre would have taken off quite the way it did if Stallone had been at the helm. 

One note in particular about the first movie.  The background to the character of Conan is changed somewhat from what my research says was Robert E. Howard's background for his character.  In the novels Conan develops in his village as a muscular warrior and goes off to the road to adventure from there.  But the movie has a different tack on it.

In the film, a quiet village goes through day to day life.  Conan's father (William Smith) is a metalworker and teaches his young son about what they believe and the legends of their peoples. This includes a down to earth god, much like the people that worship him, Crom.

Into this bucolic setting rides an invading horde.  Since the end result is that the village is burned to the ground and all the men are killed (and maybe even all the women), apparently they are only there to get Conan, who is taken captive.

Conan watches as the warriors lay waste to his village, killing his father.  And then, while standing there holding his mother's hand, the leader of this marauding horde rides up, and removes his helmet.  Thulsa Doom (James Earl Jones). doesn't even need to say a word.  (We don't actually get to hear Jones' iconic voice until much later in the movie.).  All he has to do is just stare into the eyes of Conan's mother and she drops her sword.  And then Doom beheads her.

Conan, along with several other boys, are taken captive, and eventually put to work as slaves turning a wheel.  At the start, all of them turn the wheel. (And what the point of this wheel is is never really clear...) Eventually all of the other children fall to the wayside (whether by death or some other circumstances is also not really clear.)

This leaves Conan himself, who through all this has become a very muscular older man.  And he is released from his captivity.  The scene shifts to him, supposedly free (but still has some remnants of chains on him so I'm not sure.) Being chased by wild dogs he hides in a cavern which quite possibly is a burial tomb.  A skeleton that appears to have been a former king sits on a throne with a sword.  Conan takes the sword, cleans it up and removes the remaining chains.

When he gets out of the cave/tomb he encounters a witch who revels to him some important information on where he can find the men who killed his father.  He has to go to a town where more will be revealed.  Along the way he meets a thief named Subotai (Gerry Lopez) and the woman with whom he becomes infatuated, Valeria (Sandahl Bergman).  

The trio raid a tower and kill a big snake and get some jewels, but their escapade comes to the attention of the local king, Osric (Max von Sydow),

Osric gives them a quest, rescue his daughter who has come under the influence of a powerful sorcerer (you guessed it, Thulsa Doom). Both Subotai and Valeria try to convince Conan to turn down this quest, but, revenge is a dish best served cold (to quote another movie).  Conan has to go after Doom for the honor his dead parents and ends up taking it alone since neither is willing to go on this obviously no-win endeavor.  (I mean Thulsa Doom is renowned for his big time status as a wizard after all.)

Conan makes his way to the citadel and runs across a small time wizard (Mako) in his own right (and by coincidence our humble narrator of the saga),  who gives him some help but sends him on his way.  Conan arrives at Doom's citadel. where he poses as a wannabe convert, with the help of a priest whose robes he "confiscates".

But Thulsa sees through him (wizard, remember?) and orders him to be crucified.  But Conan is not going to go down so easily. Even as he is crucified and beginning to be eaten by vultures he still tries to fight back.  And to his rescue come his friends. Both Subotai and Valeria come around to his way of thinking and agree to help him on his quest to rescue Osric's daughter. But first they must nurse him back to health and for that they need the help of a wizard.  The same wizard Conan met on his way to Doom's citadel.

 But ultimately Doom has some manner of magic and Valeria ends up dying. 

Conan pleads with Crom to help him in his quest for revenge. And since Valeria has previously promised if she died and Conan needed her help to defeat the powers of darkness, well..

They don't get much more magical than this.  You have to summon some serious powers to defeat a big time wizard like Doom, and Conan is going to need every bit of it.

So I'll leave just a bit of stuff for you to check out, but since Conan returns in the sequel you know somehow he's gonna win.  But just how is worth the wait.

Conan the Destroyer (1984):

The ensuing years since Conan defeated the power of Thulsa Doom and his minions ad lost his great love Valeria have not been easy for Conan.  He wanders the world looking for things to help him deal with his loss, but nothing seems to fill the void. At the time of the beginning of this film, he is just an itinerant thief, working with a fellow thief, Malak (Tracey Walter).

Into his world comes a band of soldiers who are intent upon, not killing him, but capturing him. He is able to fend them off fairly well, well enough that the leader of the band stops the fight.  The leader turns out to be a queen, Taramis (Sarah Douglas), who has been seeking a champion for a quest.  And she has the right bait to lure Conan, since power and money are not an incentive.  She promises him, at the outset, that she can bring back Valeria from the dead.  And, Conan, being a lovesick mourner (as well as not as cynical as I would be), falls for her bait.

So what is this quest?  Conan is hired to accompany Taramis' niece, Jehnna (Olivia D'Abo), on a journey to retrieve a key that will be used to revive the god Dagoth.  

It is a convoluted myth, but basically Jehnna is the prophesied girl who is the only one who can actually touch said key.  Conan will accompany Jehnna, and Bombaata (Wilt Chamberlain), Taramis' captain of the guards, on this quest.  

What neither Conan, or for that matter Jehnna, know is that Taramis is trying to fulfil a prophecy that will bring a god back to life, but that will require the sacrifice of Jehnna, the "virgin" that so often shows up in these kinds of legends.

 And, also, it turns out, Taramis has no intention of fulfilling her promise to Conan (whether she could or not). She instructs Bombaata to kill Conan once the key is retrieved.

So we begin the journey, Conan, Jehnna, Bombaata and Malak.  But along the way we will acquire a few other travelers, including the wizard friend from the previous adventure (Mako), who has since acquired a name, Akiro.  Akiro has to be rescued, however, since he is currently the main course of a feast for cannibals.

Also, in a village, they come across a woman who is chained and fending off six tormenters.  She is the last of a band of marauders that had attempted to raid the town..  After helping her (simply by unchaining her), Conan and the band ride on.  But the woman, Zula (Grace Jones) follows and wants to join with Conan on his quest.

The first step is to somehow get in to the castle of Thoth-Amon (Pat Roach), which is located out in the middle of a lake (and since Thoth-Amon is a wizard, guarded by some serious magic).  Conan insists they wait until morning to try their attempt, but Thoth-Amon has other ideas.  He turns into a giant bird and captures Jehnna.  (Using some pretty cheesy special effects to accomplish it...) Leaving the rest of the band to figure out how to rescue her and complete the quest of retrieving the key they came for.

They invade the castle, but are greeted by far greater magic than they have encountered yet.  Conan has to fight a creature in a room full of mirrors.  A creature comes out of each mirror and combines to form one creature, one that seems almost impervious to anything Conan can try to defeat it.  The solution to it's defeat is not necessarily ingenious (in fact in retrospect it seems kind of cheesy) but it is a satisfying solution.  (And I won't give it away, but I bet even if you've never seen the movie you can guess how to defeat this creature.)

It turns out that the creature's death also results in the death of Thoth-Amon, who had used magic to make himself the creature.  So now Conan and company can retrieve the key they came for.

The next part of the journey should be without Conan, since this is the point that the queen gave Bombaata instructions to dispatch him.  But Conan has other plans.  Bombaata, for his part, manages to convince Conan that the queen's guards have attacked on their own, not by orders of the queen.  Conan, if anything, gullible to subterfuge, believes him.  So the crowd continues on its way to the next quest, which is to use the key they got to retrieve the real relic they were after.  A cavern, and a big stone door that requires the strength of both Conan and Bombaata to open.  (So it turns out that it's a good thing Bombaata and the guards didn't succeed.)

Inside the hidden room is the horn of Dagoth, and an inscription which Akiro translates and discovers the ultimate destiny both of Jehnna and the horn.  But when Akiro tells Conan of the writing he dismisses it.  

Eventually Bombaata manages, he thinks, to trap the rest in the cavern and escapes with the girl.  but since this is Conan, the rest manage to escape and decide to go back to the city to try and stop the queen's evil plans.

The rest is the battle that occurs after the horn is replaced and the statue of Dagoth is revived.  But in order to complete the rite, you remember, Jehnna the virgin must be sacrificed.  Of course, if the rite is not completed as it is written things could go awry. Which of course is what happens.

So how does Conan defeat the evil forces?  Watch the movie!

It's too bad that the saga did not continue from here.  But then if it had we would have missed out on a few other great movies that Schwarzenegger did from here on out.  But it was not necessarily the end of Conan on film.  There was a 2011 reboot with Jason Momoa as the titular character.  But since it failed to even recoup it's production money at the box office, that pretty much torched a Momoa sequel. But we can always keep our hopes up, because Hollywood never lets a budget deficit completely bury a potential possibility of new reboots.

Well, folks, time to head out for home (wherever home may be).  Keep an eye out for those wizards, you never know what they might be up to.

Quiggy

Arnie and Jesse: Governors in Action

In 1999, wrestler and actor Jesse Ventura was elected for the office of governor of Minnesota.  He served one term in that office as the Reform candidate, but opted not to run for re-election.

In 2003, body builder and actor Arnold Schwarzenegger ran for governor of California as a Republican, after the recent governor, Grey Davis, was recalled.  He went on to be elected and serve for two more full  terms in the office.  He was limited by state constitution to two terms so could not run for a third term.

But this post is not about their lives as political candidates.

 

 

Prior to their political turns (and afterward) both men were Hollywood stars. And, though it may seem like there were more, the two only appeared together in two movies; One as allies (Predator) and one as enemies (The Running Man).  Both were essentially starring vehicles for Schwarzenegger, but Ventura also played a significant presence in them.

Action stars both, but Schwarzenegger had the bigger career (of course). Whether Ventura's acting career stagnated because of career choices or he just didn't have the cachet I can't say.  He did have some rather memorable excursions as a lead actor (including the title role in one of is first movies,  Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe) and a less than memorable role as the co-star with Rowdy Roddy Piper in a TV pilot (Tag Team), but his acting career was not on par with Schwarzenegger.

Predator (1987):

Unlike most action movies, this one doesn't waste time with a lot of build up to the action.  A mere 5 minutes into the film we are already on the way.  "Dutch" Schaefer (Schwarzenegger) and his crew of mercenaries for hire, which include Blain (Ventura), as well as "Poncho" (Richard Chaves) the explosives guy, Billy (Sonny Landham) a tracker, Rick (Shane Black) the radio operator, and Mac (Bill Duke) a machine gun expert are in the air on the way to the drop off.

 

The crew also includes an old friend of Dutch, Dillon (Carl weathers), who was instrumental in getting the mercenaries brought in on the rescue operation in the first place. The rescue, a recovery of some hostages who have been captured by some guerillas in a Central American jungle, is the primary job.

But while advancing to the stronghold where they are being held, the crew encounters some strange phenomena.  They find members of the piloting crew skinned alive and wonder why the guerillas would do such a thing. (Of course, it wasn't the guerillas that did it, but the crew doesn't know that yet.)

Of course, everything is not all it seems.  The capture of supposedly innocent civilians eventually turns out to be that the "civilians" were not so "innocent" as the crew was led to believe.  Upon arriving at the stronghold they blast away and while the crew is pretty accurate with their guns, apparently the guerillas couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with an atom bomb. 

If you know ANYTHING about this movie you probably know the line that Blain utters.after Poncho observes that he has been hit and is bleeding:

"I ain't got time to bleed."

(Side note:  I Ain't Got Time to Bleed was also one of Ventura's political books, the title of which came from this movie.  Good book if you want to check it out.)

After the fire fight, and with all the hostages and the guerillas dead, the crew determines they need to high tail it out of there because more enemy forces are on their way.  Dillon insists that the one surviving member of the guerilla force, a female soldier, needs to be taken with them because she could give them away if left behind. (Always has to be a female who presents both a hazard and an enticement in these kinds of films, you know...) It turns out that the female becomes more useful in the long run, however.

Now we get to the meat of the story. Watching the proceedings is a mysterious character and the only way we know at the beginning that it is not necessarily human is we see it's POV, which is apparently some kind of helmet that lets it see the human and other figures as heat sources. 

 

 

 

The next hour or so of the movie involves the crew gradually coming to the realization that the hunters trying to get to them are not "HUNTERS" but one "HUNTER", and it ain't exactly human.  It turns out of course that it is the alien we see in the first minute of the movie being ejected from a spaceship flying past the Earth.  We are never really told why just one alien is landing, nor why it is in the jungle in the first place, or what it's ultimate objective is.  (Although if it's ultimate goal is the extermination of humans, it seems more logical it would initially land in some place like New York City or Los Angeles... wait until the sequel to get that scenario.)   

The predator begins taking out the crew one by one, and of course the final battle comes down to a one on one with Dutch (who else... it is a Schwarzenegger movie after all). My big complaint is that Blain goes way too early in the film. Not that I don't like Mac (or Billy or Dillon for that matter). Bill Duke, who plays Mac, is always  a treat when he gets enough screen time to be a presence. (see Car Wash for a real good Bill Duke performance. He is as intense there as he is here) And of course we all know Carl Weathers from his turns as Apollo Creed in the early Rocky  movies, so we know how good he can be .

The ultimate battle comes down to Dutch and the alien, and instead of the alien just blasting Dutch with one of his alien ray guns, they go mano a mano.

 

 

 

This was director John McTiernan's first major film.  You can get an insight into his future as a director of such well-remembered action films like the first two Die Hard films as well as The Hunt for Red October and  Last Action Hero.  He was also director of the remake of Rollerball in 2002, but the less said about that one the better...

Of course, as with most Schwarzenegger movies, this one made a profit.  And it even managed to get a nomination for an Oscar (for Best Visual Effects, but it lost to it's only competitor, Innerspace). It got mixed reviews on it's release, but that old standby for referencing reviews, Roger Ebert, gave it 3 stars.  It currently has an 80% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.  And audiences love it even today. Whether that's because of the story or just Schwarzenegger's biceps is the question. As an action movie and sci-fi movie fan I think it's entertaining although my rational mind still has those questions referenced above.

Schwarzenegger and Ventura were both pretty busy in 1986-87. After finishing filming this movie, they got together for another action film The Running Man.

The Running Man (1987):.

 The Running Man is loosely (heavy emphasis on the word "loosely") based on a Stephen King novel (published under what was then an unknown pen name of "Richard Bachman"). Note the cover of the first publication below: "In 2025...". Which means we are not far from this scenario, time-wise, and what with reality TV being what it is, we may not be that far away after all...

 

[A side note: In 1983, when the original novel hit the stands I was working on a paper route as a source of income.  One night, after throwing the paper, I stopped off to get something to drink at the local grocery store.  As was my custom whenever I was there I would browse the paperback book racks for something interesting.  And I bought a copy of this book. It remains in my possession even today. And without the obligatory "Stephen King writing as Richard Bachman" on the cover since it was still unknown that King was Bachman. (see image above)  It is probably the most valuable thing I own, since copies of the first edition can fetch about $100 or more]

The novel was pretty good. Now, the fact is that it was optioned for Hollywood BEFORE the revelation that Bachman was actually a King pen name. (I picked that tidbit up from listening to podcasts, so I don;t actually have a credible source to verify it.)  In all honesty I thought it would probably have never seen light of day as a potential Hollywood film if it hadn't turned out that Bachman was actually King.

The basic premise, a future world where the most popular TV show is a game show that pits contestants against a cast of hunters whose job it is to eliminate the contestant is still present. And that's about it. The rest of the film is entirely in the mind of the scriptwriters.  If you read the novel AND watch the movie you can decide who did a better job with the story. I recommend you do both.  Each is worth the effort individually, but doing both will enlighten you on the controversy that King has had with Hollywood productions of his works.

In the beginning of the film, Ben Richards (Schwarzenegger) is a police officer monitoring a riot on the streets. (In the book Richards is not a policeman, just an out of work guy looking to make some money).  The movie Richards is ordered to fire upon the rioters who are unarmed and just looking for food.  Did I mention this is a dystopian future?  Well, it is.  And in Hollywood that always means the government tries to rundown the common man. (i.e: the good guys are the innocent proletariat and the bad guys are the government, or at least the non-Liberal government, which is the personification of "evil" in the Hollywood world. Remember Ronald Reagan was in the Oval Office at the time)

Anyway Richards refuses the order and is taken prisoner by his fellow officers.  And said fellow officers complete the mission, that of stopping the riot by force. Flash forward a few months.  Richards was convicted and sent to prison as the person who fired on the unarmed civilians.  Yes, the same government that was trying to force him to kill the civilians made him the scapegoat for the crime.

After a successful escape from the prison (I just encapsulated a fantastic 10 minute sequence there, but the end result is his escape), Richards is out to track down and hook up with his brother to try to get out of the country.  Only in the interim of his prison time his brother was also arrested and made a prisoner.  At the brother's apartment instead of finding the brother he finds Amber (Maria Conchita Alonso). (Note: There is a part here that will make you sit up and say "huh"? Richards uses his brother's security code to enter the apartment, but it turns out that Amber has moved in.  She didn't change the security code?)

 

 

 

Richards takes Amber hostage in his attempt to escape the country, but things don't go as well as planned.  And as a result of his capture he is brought to Killian (Richard Dawson), the host of the nation's most popular TV show, The Running Man. Killian coerces Richards to become the next contestant on the show, the plot of which is that the contestant is sent out into a playing grid (essentially a neighborhood section of the city) with a hit man, called a Stalker,  sent to kill him. The cadre of Stalkers that could be sent after him are chosen by  a random member of the audience. The Stalkers are your basic video game fighting characters with their own special weapons and outfits. 

 

 

 

Killian of course, in keeping with the sleazy double dealing trope of the villain in these movies, has double-crossed Richards. He initially convinced Richards to play the game in place of two of his fellow prison escapees, but at the last minute Richards finds out that Killian is going to send his two compatriots into the playing grid, too. These two friends, played by Yaphet Kotto and Marvin McIntyre, become targets for the Stalkers as the game progresses. (It probably goes without saying that the two friends are eventually dead meat, but they do get a few chances to get their chops in.)

Back to the studio, the first Stalker to be sent out after the runners is chosen by a random member of the audience. And like any contestant who gets a front row spot on The Price is Right, she is overwhelmed to be on the same stage as Killian. So the first stalker sent out is Professor Subzero (Professor Toru Tanaka)

 

 

 

Meanwhile, on another front, Amber has discovered that the world is being given false information about Richards and takes it upon herself to try to find out the truth.  Conveniently she works for the TV station so she can access the files. And, of course, the TV station kept on file the actual footage of the real riot scene as well as the edited footage the public got to see that framed Richards. But she is got red-handed and becomes yet another runner in the grid. (Along with the edited footage show to viewers,  that promotes her as a whore, a conspirator and who knows what else, so the public can howl for her blood, too.) 

Back on the playing grid, it doesn't take long for the first victim to be eliminated from the competition. Unfortunately for Killian and the fans, the first victim is Subzero.  A shock in more ways than one because apparently a Stalker has never been killed before in the history of the show. Which brings up the next contestant, who being indecisive, manages to have Killian pit two Stalkers into the grid; Buzzsaw (Gus Rethwisch), a chainsaw equipped Stalker and Dynamo (Erland van Lidth), an opera loving Stalker whose main weapon is electricity. {Side note: van Lidth actually was an opera singer. That's actually him singing in the scenes where Dynamo sings}.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The defeat of Buzzsaw is a "buzz kill" (yeah, I said it.). But the battle against Dynamo features a background music of "Ride of the Valkyries" (appropriate for a battle with an opera singer, even if it is pretty much expected and possibly a cheesy trope at that point.)  The death of one more of the Stalkers in unprecedented. (Richards leaves Dynamo alive, but powerless.) Apparently no one, the audience nor even Killian himself, has seen such carnage performed on  the "lawmakers". It's bound to be a foregone conclusion that they have seen such carnage committed against the players, but then the players are supposed to be lawbreakers, so that's no big deal.

Bring on the backups. Fireball (Jim Brown) a Stalker from the back stage is brought up. And since Dynamo was allowed to live, we have another pair of Stalkers to pit against the renegade policeman.  But Richards gives them more than Killian and the execs or the Stalkers bargained for.  But there is still one more chance for the "good guys".  Jesse Ventura finally gets his chance as Captain Freedom, a retired Stalker who has been reduced to doing exercise videos.

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

Eventually Richards gets free of the confines of the game grid and goes after Killian.  The final wrap of the movie is just as you'd expect from such a movie.

If you are just looking for a lot of action and a few explosions this movie is pretty good.  However, if you are looking for a film that stays true to it's source material, or are just a fan of King as King actually wrote the original, you might want to avoid this one. It's not as bad as, say, Lawnmower Man in that respect, but it does not come all that close to the novel.

Well, folks, the drive home will prove to be a challenge.  I think I will avoid that section of the city  that has all those cameras all over the place.  Drive safely.

 

Quiggy

 

 

Freeze Frame

This is my second entry in the So Bad Its Good Blogathon hosted by Taking Up Room

There were four Batman movies produced from 1989-97.  Tim Burton was involved in three of them (and directed the first two).  Production of the fourth installment had ts ups and downs.  Interestingly, Patrick Stewart was originally going to play Mr. Freeze until the production crew and director decided he needed to be played by a beefier actor.  Enter Arnold Schwarzenegger, and the script was altered somewhat to accommodate a hulkier actor.

The problems involved included the fact that director Joel Schumaker insisted to the cast and crew that he was making "a cartoon".  And the cartoonish aspect went beyond just Akiva Goldsman's script.  Chris O'Donnell who played Robin, commented in an interview " On Batman Forever, I felt like I was making a movie.  The second time, I felt like I was making a kid's toy commercial."

The film was not received well by the critics, or for that matter, the general public.  It barely made back it's budget.  It wasn't even in the top ten of money makers for the year.  According to wikipedia, the top ten movies of 1997 included Liar, Liar, My Best Friend's Wedding and The Full Monty, movies that were good, but not so good that that they should have out-gained a superhero action film, which typically makes a good show, even if its not so good...

Still, all in all, Batman and Robin is a cool film if you like superhero movies.  Just not exactly the greatest dialogue driven film that earlier incarnations of the Batman franchise had.

Batman and Robin (1997):

Robin : "I want a car!  Chicks dig the car."

Batman: "This is why Superman works alone."

Thus begins the movie and foreshadowing much of why the movie is so disparaged.  The dialogue for Batman and Robin seems to have been written by a twelve-year-old geek comic book enthusiast with a 40 year life of immersion in action movies where everyone spouts non sequiturs and lame jokes.  But I don't come back to Batman and Robin for the dialogue, even though I admit it is kind of funny.  I come back to it because Arnold Schwarzenegger is a great villain, and Chris O'Donnell is a pretty good Robin.  George Clooney is miscast as Batman, in my opinion, but he is believable as Bruce Wayne.

Batman and Robin appear on the scene as our new resident supervillain, Mr, Freeze (Arnold Schwarzenegger) attempts to steal a diamond.  See, Mr. Freeze (alias Dr. Victor Fries) had an accident which causes him to need a space suit designed to keep his body at a relatively cold temperature in order to survive in the outside world.  And to maintain the suit Freeze needs diamonds, which makes it imperative that he steal them.  (The suit couldn't need something simple like potato chips, otherwise we wouldn't have a movie...)  Freeze also needs diamonds to continue his research in curing his wife, currently in suspended animation, from a rare disease.

At the museum where the diamond that Freeze intends to steal is installed, a fight ensues, which breaks out into a hockey game.  And eventually Freeze succeeds in his theft.

Mr. Freeze: "You're not sending me to the cooler!" 

Mainly because the rash Robin, overstepping his capabilities, is frozen and Batman must let Freeze escape with the diamond in order to thaw out his comrade.

Mr. Freeze: "Stay cool, Birdboy."



The somewhat bitter rivalry between Batman and Robin is part of the story line.  Robin, it seems, resents the fact that Batman treats him like a child, not letting him do the things he, Robin, thinks he is capable of doing.  It comes close to Robin deciding to go out on his own as a separate force.

Enter Poison Ivy.  Dr Pamela Isley (Uma Thurman) has been doing research in a remote location trying to develop a strain of plant life that can fight back against the humans.  But she is saddled with a psychotic scientist, Dr. Jason Woodrue (John Glover), who keeps stealing her work in an effort to create a super soldier.  When he creates Bane, he tries to sell it to the highest bidder    .  The bidders are a collection of Evil Empire leaders (such as Iraqis, Russians, North Koreans etc.)  When Dr. Isley confronts Dr. Woodrue and threatens him with revealing his nefarious purposes, he kills her.

Or so it seems.  But like the Joker (from the first Tim Burton Batman), the death is not so sure.  The mass of equipment and fluids she falls into transform her into Poison Ivy.

Poison Ivy eventually tries to seduce both Batman and Robin, and although Batman's inherent nonchalance towards women in general helps him resist, Robin is infatuated with Ivy.  (I would be too.  Uma Thurman at 25, when the movie was made, was hot...)

Robin: "I need a sign that you've turned over a new leaf."

Poison Ivy: "How about 'slippery when wet'?"

Poison Ivy eventually teams up with Freeze, as they both have one particular goal in mind, the destruction of the Dynamic Duo.  Ivy tries to put her wiles on Freeze, but he is resistant because his devotion is only to his wife.

Mr. Freeze: "Hmm... Adam and Evil"

On the home side, Alfred (Michael Gough), Bruce Wayne's butler, has come down in the first stages of the same disease that is killing Freeze's wife.  And his niece, Barbara (Alicia Silverstone) has appeared on the scene to help.  Through some fortuitous events, she eventually discovers Bruce Wayne's secret, and with the help of an AI version of Alfred, becomes transformed into... Batgirl.

Batman:  "Batgirl?  That's not very PC.  What about Batwoman, or Batperson?"

(...and because "Batchick" not only isn't PC, but might be misheard...)

Eventually, of course, the Terrific Trio defeat both Poison Ivy and Mr. Freeze.  Batman implores Freeze to help cure Alfred who is in the first stages of the disease killing Freeze's wife, and Freeze opens a secret compartment in his suit and hands Batman two vials.  (Don't tell me you don't see it coming...)

Mr. Freeze: "Take two of these and call me in the morning."

Batman and Robin  was so poorly received that another sequel was shelved.  It would take 8 years, and a complete reboot, for the franchise to come back to the big screen.  Admittedly the attempt to try to change Tim Burton's original dark vision evidenced with the first two Burton Batmans suffered from an attempt to try to meld the darkness with, apparently, the camp of the  60's TV series.  Fortunately for Batman fans, the death knell was only 8 years.  The Christian Bale Batman eventually gave us what is in my opinion the greatest Batman movie ever, The Dark Knight (coming to a blog near you very soon).

Its no Batmobile, but it does run, mostly.  Time to fire up this old Plymouth.  Drive safely, folks.

Quiggy