Merry Christmas, Ya Filthy Animals!

.... and a Happy New Year!

 

 

Note: This will be the first of a planned series of Christmas entries I will be making over the next couple of months. If you're saying to yourself "But, Quiggy, it's not even Halloween yet", I say "Get over yourself, Ebenezer!"

 

 

So, what if you had that fantasy come true, that of most young kids, that you could be on your own and do what you want, without  the interference of those pesky adults and older siblings?  That is the setup here, and that's all we really need. Other than that, there really is no plot. Sure, there is that threat of having your home invaded by would-be thieves, but even that is just a setup for the layout of what is essentially a live-action version of a Looney Tunes cartoon.

I mean, think about it. In both of these movies, the bad guys could be substituted with Elmer Fudd and Yosemite Sam, with the character of Kevin being Bugs Bunny. No matter what happens to the bad guys, they aren't really damaged much more than if a 100 lb. anvil was dropped on Elmer Fudd's head. Just a quick "Ow! That hurt!" and then back to trying to capture that "wascally wabbit" (I mean, bratty kid).

 

 

 Home Alone (1990):

The McAllisters are going on vacation for Christmas. Rather than spend it in boring old Chicago, they are going to Paris. And life at the McAllister household is hectic as a result. Not just Peter (John Heard) and his wife, Kate (Catherine O'Hara) and their 5 kids, but also a perennial hanger own and total mooch of an older brother, Frank (Gary Bamman) and his wife and five kids are all running around like chickens with their heads cut off, trying to get ready to catch the plane early the next morning.

Our hero, Kevin (Macauley Culkin), is frustrated because, being the self-centered type, he thinks everybody is out to get him. To his credit he does get treated a bit like an unruly child, but then basically he IS an unruly child. However, the only one who really seems to have it in for Kevin is his older brother, Buzz (Devin Ratray) who, in typical movie older brother fashion, does everything he can to make Kevin's life hell.

The setup begins when dad Peter unplugs the clock to check on a charger and plugs it back in without resetting the clock. This in effect sets up the next morning when the entire house awakes to realize they overslept and the shuttle service they hired to take them to the airport is waiting outside. Long story, short, they rush to the airport and just manage to make it on the plane before its departure.

Except a foul up in the process occurs when Kevin is left behind.  And in typical fashion, mom is the first to realize that Kevin didn't make it with them and is still home alone. 

 

Kevin wakes up to discover his whole family is gone. Shock eventually segues into elation that his dream of being able to do what he wants without interference is a dream now come true. As any 8 year old would do he initially starts doing things he had previously not been allowed to do, like jumping on the bed and pillaging his older brother's room.

 

Eventually he does settle down somewhat.  He even goes grocery shopping.

 

One of the scenes that gradually makes Kevin grow up a little is when he has an encounter with Old Man Marley (Roberts Blossom). Marley is a recluse in the neighborhood, and as such, is the subject of some pretty sinister rumors from the neighborhood kids, such as the fact that he murdered his whole family with a snow shovel. Kevin is at first scared s**tless of Marley, but he eventually learns that Marley is a nice old man who has had problems of his own with his own family. Both Kevin and Marley eventually learn something from each other and depart as friends.

 

In time Kevin realizes that a pair of suspicious characters he has seen hanging around the neighborhood are in fact home burglars. Harry (Joe Pesci) and Marv (Daniel Stern) have been casing the neighborhood for weeks, figuring out which houses were going to be vacant during the holidays so they can rob them blind.  Of course, one of the houses on their list was the McAllister house, since everyone was supposed to be going to Paris.

 

But when they see little Kevin they become confused and think maybe the family didn't go after all. But it gradually begins to dawn on them that Kevin is all alone, so their plans go back to the original stage. Meanwhile Kevin becomes aware of the pair and determines that he, and he alone, is the only block between a successful robbing of his family home and a defense from the robbers.

This sets up the last third of the movie as Kevin goes from an 8 year old kid to the equivalent of a mix of McGyver and a Rube Goldberg creator. He sets up an elaborate series of blockades, including hot wiring a door knob, painting grease on ladder rungs, and icing up the sidewalk out front. You might get the idea that Kevin watched a hell of a lot of Wile E. Coyote / Roadrunner cartoons and learned how to avoid the mistakes that Herr Coyote made so he could be successful. 

 

Of course, the family eventually returns home just in time on Christmas Day. Mom first, since she refused to wait for a direct flight and had to use all her wiles to get home to her son.  But she only beats the rest of the family by 10 minutes. The rest of the family having waited for the direct flight Mom would not wait for. 

 

One of the better parts of the movie is when Kevin uses a VCR tape of an old (fictional, BTW) film noir film called Angels with Filthy Souls. A tough gangster named Johnny (played by Ralph Foody) has some bad words with another character named Snakes and Kevin uses this film to convince a pizza delivery guy to be satisfied with a 20 cent delivery tip. An interesting tidbit for you if you've seen the fake movie scene: Originally the parts were going to be reversed with the parts of Snakes and Johnny being played by the other actor.

 

Also a great cameo in this movie by John Candy as the leader of a polka band who gives Mom a ride to Chicago. Candy did this movie for almost free as a favor to John Hughes (having previously made Planes, Trains and Automobiles and Uncle Buck with the director).  I read on wikipedia that because Candy came on board for so cheap that Hughes just let him ad-lib his whole role, and his parts are pretty funny.

Robert De Niro turned down the role of Harry, and as a result the part went to Pesci. As good as De Niro is, even in movies where he is required to be comedic, I am thankful he chose to pass. I can't imagine anyone in that role but Pesci.  

So, the movie was pretty successful upon it's release. It raked in $476 million dollars against a budget of on $18 million and was surpassed only by Ghost that year in terms of ticket sales.  It currently has a 66% rating on the Tomato-meter. Among some of the critics who didn't like it was Owen Gleiberman, who apparently missed the homage I saw in it as a tribute to those old Looney Tunes cartoons. He called it a "sadistic festival of adult-bashing". And note: I wrote the comparison of Kevin's blockades above as "a mix of McGyver and a Rube Goldberg creator" before I read it, but apparently me and Roger Ebert were on the same wavelength... A quote from wikipedia article on the movie: He compared the elaborate booby-traps in the film to Rube Goldberg machines, writing "they're the kinds of traps that any 8-year-old could devise, if he had a budget of tens of thousands of dollars and the assistance of a crew of movie special effects people"...

Home Alone was such a huge hit that it inspired a sequel, Home Alone II: Lost in New York.

 

 

Home Alone II: Lost in New York (1992): 

This film segues from the fist movie and pretty much starts out the same way. This time the McAllisters and the rest are on their way to spend Christmas in Florida. I think it is supposed to be taking place the following Christmas after the debacle of a trip the family tried in the first film, so the maturity that Kevin garnered from the first film didn't apparently last long, since he is still being the same rather obnoxious little kid he was being last year.

 

This time the family is going to Florida. As usual, the family wakes up late and has to rush to get to the airport. No, the family does not end up leaving poor Kevin behind this time. Instead a bit of confusion happens as Kevin gets separated and chases after a man he thinks is his dad and ends up on a plane to new York instead of the one the rest of the family is boarded to go to Florida.

Fortunately for Kevin he has his dad's carry on which has his wallet. After wandering around new York for a bit and realizing he has to find some place to stay he books a room at the Plaza Hotel, using his portable recorder to convince the hotel booking agent on the phone that is dad is making the reservation. (Something that can't be encapsulated by writing about it... you have to see it. It probably wouldn't work in real life, but this is the movies).

The hotel concierge, played by Tim Curry, is suspicious and does many attempts to try to catch the non-present father, but of course, since dad is really not there he has no success. Kevin uses the portable recorder, as well as an inflatable Bozo the clown to hide the fact that he is there alone. As well, he has a tape of the film noir sequel to the previous movie, Angels with Filthier Souls. (The title of this blog entry comes from a quote in that faux movie...)

 

While wandering around Central Park Kevin encounters a homeless woman, credited as The Pigeon Lady (Brenda Fricker). Once again circumstances cause Kevin to rethink his initial reaction, which is fear, to finding out that the pigeon lady is really a nice person after all. And both of them, as in the previous movie with Kevin and Marley, come away with a new outlook on life.

 

Meanwhile, it turns out that our bad guys from the previous movie, Harry and Marv, have escaped jail and are planning to hit a local toy store, which has thousands of dollars of it's sales that is going to be donated to the local children's hospital. The two spot Kevin and recognize him, but since they are focused on their crime they mostly just try a half ass attempt at accosting Kevin, but end up just forgetting about him.

 

Not a good idea. Since Kevin has found out about their plan he makes an attempt to foil the robbery. And then, much as in the first movie, he sets up an elaborate trap that plays out much as it did in the first movie: Rube Goldberg traps and Looney Tunes hijinks.

"But wait...!" you are thinking. "He's not at home..." Well, it turns out that dad has a cousin living in New York, one that is conveniently out of town while his house is being renovated. (and, BTW, that house looks like it's been condemned and abandoned to me, so just how much renovation did it need...?)

 

Harry and Marv are looking for revenge. Might have been better if they just hightailed it out of town since they already had a satchel full of loot, but these two mental giants think that getting that kid is a more important goal than anything resembling prudence. And of course, they failed to learn their lesson when dealing with Kevin the first time.

 

Eventually Kevin foils these two geniuses and wins the day, as well as garners the thanks of the toy store owner, Mr. Duncan (Eddie Bracken). And, as they say, all's well that ends well.

Just wondering. Is there anyone besides me that thinks Brenda Fricker (the Pigeon Lady) looks a lot like Susan Boyle? Have to admit I had a little crush on Fricker after that movie. Sure, she's about 15 years older than me, but who says you have to have crushes on younger women?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Home Alone 2 was not the smash that the first one was, but it still managed to come in third in ticket sales behind Aladdin and The Bodyguard. It was made for $28 million and pulled in almost $400 million at the box office.  However, it was not the big favorite among critics... what do they know? It ranks only 35% on the Tomato-meter. Audiences begged to differ, however. It has an average of A- on a scale of A+ to F with those of us who actually paid to see the movie rather than have our tickets bought for us by our employer/newspaper. 

Home Alone 2 also has a phenomenally better musical soundtrack. The first movie had very little Christmas music in it, it was mostly the score of the film with a small number of songs. On this movie you get quite a number of favorite melodies accompanying the film, including "Sleigh Ride" sung by TLC, "Silver Bells" sung by Atlantic Starr, the classic favorite "Jingle Bell Rock" as sung by Bobby Helms and my favorite, "A Holly Jolly Christmas", sung by Alan Jackson.

  

 

Late breaking news! Remember those two film noir movies I mentioned above that Kevin puts to ingenious  use? I just found a clip that includes his first watch of both of those films and the subsequent pranks he plays on various people with them. You don't need to watch the whole movie to understand what's going on, they are self-explanatory. Enjoy!

 

 

Well, folks, Christmas is almost upon us. Have a happy holidays. And be sure ALL your family is present before you start on a journey, even if it's just across town to grandma's house.

Quiggy

 

Stone Face Does Comedy?

This is my entry in the Sixth So Bad It's Good Blogathon host by Taking Up Room

 

So you're asking: "'Stone Face'?  Who the hell is 'Stone Face'?

Well, a few years ago I did a post on Sylvester Stallone doing two movies (Stone Face Vs. the Russians) which, coincidentally, was for another So Bad It's Good Blogathon. In it I made some jesting comments that Stallone never cracked a smile in his entire career.  I could be wrong.

It's a sure bet that not many have cracked a smile over Stallone's comedy career, however.  I mentioned this to a friend at work the other day while listening to a podcast review of Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot! that Stallone's was best at comedy when he wasn't trying to do comedy.  Along with Rhinestone, both movies stand as milestones in the dumpster of Stallone's career when he tried to do comedy.  Both movies are ranked among the worst movies of all time. 

As stated in that previously noted review, Stallone has been the "victim" of numerous Razzies (The Golden Raspberry Awards) for worst actor.  I don't always agree with John Wilson, the creator of the award, and many times I think that Wilson just has it in for Stallone.  But then, I like the kinds of movies that Stallone does (at least the ones where he is trying to be a tough guy)

But Stallone as a comedy star?  Not exactly the best career decision.  That said, both of these movies are entertaining in their own right.  Don't think that just because I am being a little critical of his comedy career that I don't like them in their own context as Stallone films. But I still think that Stallone should stick to what he does best, punching bad guys and obnoxious a-holes in the face.  (Which he DOES do in these two films, just not often enough).

Rhinestone and Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot! were separated by an 8 year string of the kind of movies most of us come to expect from Stallone (including the two I reviewed in the previously mentioned post). During that time we also got Cobra, Lock Up and Tango and Cash, all pretty good Stallone tough guy movies.

Since Stallone has famously disassociated himself from Rhinestone, you would have thought maybe he'd be a little reluctant to delve into another comedy.  And maybe he was.  But here's a tidbit for you.  At the time of Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot! Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger were in an intense rivalry for box office status.  The reason that Stallone wanted to do Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot! was because he wanted to put one over on Schwarzenegger because he thought the The Governator really wanted the role.  It turns out that Arnold got Stallone to do it on purpose by just pretending to be interested (as he has pointed out in several interviews, post film).  

So is Stallone actually funny (or at least believably funny) as a comedy star? You have to watch to find out.  

 

 

 

 

Rhinestone (1984):

(Note: In the opening credits of this film it says it is based on the Glen Campbell song "Rhinestone Cowboy". If you know the song, you'll probably think they should have added "loosely" before the word "based"...)

 The scene is New York City.  Home of one of the biggest country music venues in the nation. 

Or at least in the mind of it's owner, Freddie Ugo (Ron Liebman).  Ugo is a slimeball, prominently foreshadowed by his first line in the movie.  He arrives in a diamond studded limousine where an employee opens his door and greets him with a "Good evening, Mr. Ugo".

"It's always a good evening when you're rich, kid."

Appearing at his nightclub is Jake Farris (Dolly Parton).  She struggles through her nightly set, having to share the stage with Ugo's "amateur night" which includes whatever new sensation that he can find to get him even richer.  Tonight it is Elgart Brunson (Russ {or also Rusty}Buchanan, who was actually a decent singer. He was involved with several bands in the 70's and 80's.).  Elgart plays a song he wrote about a girlfriend who died in a horrible way. And he sings horribly himself. (Kudos to Buchanan for pulling it off.  This is one of the funnier parts of this film.)

Ugo has a contract with Jake to appear at his nightclub, but Jake wants out.  Ugo, never one to miss an opportunity to be a sleazeball, tells her she is committed to the contract, but he could be convinced to null it under the right circumstances.  Jake tells him, rather impetuously, that she could turn anybody into a country star in two weeks, and Ugo takes her up on the bet. If she succeeds, he will tear up the contract.

On the other hand, if she fails, she has to sign on for another 5 years.  And she has to go to bed with him.  (I told you he never misses an opportunity to be a scumbag. I mean, just in case you as the audience, miss the obvious, look at where is eyes go when he is chatting with Jake.  Her eyes are a little farther up, Freddie...)

And he gets to pick the unwitting victim that Jake will have to miraculously turn into a star. Enter stereotypical abrasive New York cabbie, Nick Martinelli (Sylvester Stallone). Nick is in the process of delivering a Japanese tourist group to a spot they didn't even know they wanted to go. They started out for a sushi bar, but Nick convinces them to change their minds, (and not necessarily willingly...)

Backed into a corner and unwilling to sleep with Ugo (even if it was just "sleeping"), Jake finds herself saddled with a man who wouldn't know the difference between a honky tonk and a Tonka truck. And has to find a way to not only get him acclimated to the country music scene, but squeeze out a modicum of talent that will get her the win in the bet.

Of course, the fly in the ointment is Nick doesn't even like country music. Or hillbilly lifestyle as we find out.  Because in an effort to get Nick into country music shape, Jake takes him back to her hometown in backwater Tennessee.

Talk about a fish out of water.  Here's your typical brash New York City Italian dropped in the middle of hillbilly heaven (or hell, depending on your point of view.) Jake introduces Nick to the down home crowd, her friends and her family in good old back home Leiper's Fork. (And, believe it or not, that's a real town in Tennessee. And was the location for some of the Tennessee portions of this film).

Don't miss the debut of Nick in Tennessee.  He sings "Devil with a Blue Dress" and gets the reaction from the crowd that you'd pretty much expect. So Jake has her work all cut out for her. (Two weeks?  Phttt. Piece of cake...)

Nick is on his way, learning the "proper" way of eating (like mixing your peas and potatoes together, and saving your biscuits for dipping in your gravy). And making new friends, like Jake's former boyfriend, Barnett (Tim Thomerson). But don't mention that name around Jake. Their relationship was not what you might call amicable.

The next time Nick gets in front of a crowd he has improved somewhat. He sings a song called "Drinkenstein". Which you've got to see to believe:

The upshot is Nick needs a little more work (obviously). But ultimately Jake does manage to get Nick into some semblance of cowboy shape.  But is he good enough to take on the rough crowd back in New York City, or good enough to capture the prize of getting Jake out of her contract with sleazy Freddie? Well, that all depends on whether he even makes it to the stage... Because before the movie is over there is one final problem. Jake reveals that she hasn't got the kind of confidence in Nick's new found career, even though he thinks he's hot patootie.

When Jake decides she has to forfeit and goes to Freddie to concede, Nick has to ride out to rescue her, like "a rhinestone cowboy, riding out on a horse in something like a star-spangled rodeo". (Had to justify the "based on" portion of the credits, after all...)

And then he has to win over the audience. But he decides to do it his way.  And his way ends up being a foreshadowing of the future of what country would transform into today. (i.e. rock posing as country.)

This movie is not all as bad as it sounds.  Really.  Is it on the level of, say, Blazing Saddles (a movie I consider tops in comedy)? No. But it will win you over as a decent transformation type film.  If you give it a chance.

Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot! (1992):

Joe Bomowski (Sylvester Stallone) is your average detective on your average police force in your average big city. (Well, average for gung ho cop movies anyway.)  The movie opens with Joe and his partner, Tony (John Wesley) on a stakeout.  They are awaiting the arrival of "the bad guys" who, as usual, are "always late". And, as usual, when they do arrive, there is a shootout, and as usual, the partner gets shot.  And, as usual, the main cop shows off his impulsive personality by doing some rather impressive shooting of things that shouldn't be victim of his shooting. (He shoots out the chains holding up a sign.  Poor sign.  What did it do to deserve this treatment?)

 After the shoot out we see Joe, frustrated, trying to call his mother.  Mom (Estelle Getty) is packing for a visit and ignores his call because for the last five times she has planned to come visit he has called her to say this is a "bad time for a visit." 

Joe has a romantic interest, his lieutenant in the police force, Gwen (JoBeth Williams). Gwen doesn't really believe him when he tells her that he was trying to call mom.  She thinks there is another woman. (Of course she does).

When Mom finally arrives on the plane we find out why Joe has such an issue with her.  Mom, loving Mom as she is, seems to have spent the entire plane trip talking about her Joey and showing the flight attendants, passengers, and anyone else who will listen, pictures of her son, in diapers. (No, not an adult in diapers, just as a baby. Get your mind out of the gutter...)

While driving her to the apartment, a radio call comes on stating that there is a suicide jumper. (Why is it that many of these cop movies involve a scene with a suicide jumper?  And why do they always seem to play it for laughs?) Of course, Mom has to jump into the fray and try to help.

Mom increasingly becomes annoying (after all, she can't just let Joe continue to live in his untidy apartment, or eat the decidedly less nutritious fare he is used to...) At one point she decides that Joe's gun is too dirty, so she cleans it.  How? With a mixture of Clorox, Ajax and Comet... (No, I don't have any idea whether that combination is lethal, and I doubt whether the writers researched it to find out.  So don't try it at home.)

The gun, of course, is ruined. (I don't know if it really is ruined, but it has to be for this part of the plot to advance, so...) So while Joe is at work, Mom heads out to find her Joey a new gun.  But the pawn shop insists on following the rules.  It will take two weeks before she can actually buy the gun. (It's called a "cooling off" period so you can't just buy a gun and shoot someone on impulse.)  But a customer in the shop wants to be helpful.  The customer (Dennis Burkley) helpfully takes her into the alley where he and his partner have an armory of automatic weapons.  And sells her one.

But the guns were stolen from another set of hoodlums.  Hoodlums who have been watching the two. And they are given the word by their boss to reclaim their merchandise.  Mom witnesses the hit and murder.  Now, since Mom is a material witness to a crime, she is going to have to stay until it's resolution... an extra two or three weeks... Poor Joe.

And Mom, being what mothers are (at least what mothers are in movies, anyway). has Joe's interests at heart.  So she withholds evidence of what she really saw so she can share it with Joe and hopefully get him a promotion, as well as improve his relationship with Gwen.

Much of the rest of the film involves the kind of things that are bound to happen when a overly pampered son (who is highly resistant to the over-pampering) has to TRY to get his mother to let him live his own life, but mom keeps finding ways to help (and he doesn't want the help.  Need?  That's a different story).

It turns out that the gun Mom bought was part of a stash of guns that were supposed to have burned up in a warehouse fire,  And behind it all is the Mr. Big of the movie, a sleazy big shot corporation executive named Parnell (Roger Rees).  Rees has cropped up over the years as a comedic villain or at least an unappealing character.  He was the sheriff of Rottingham in Robin Hood: Men in Tights and two stints on TV, one as Lord John Marbury in "The West Wing", and as Robin Colcord on "Cheers".

It seems Parnell had the fire intentionally set, not only to collect on the insurance, but also to illegally sell the guns.  And a couple of the cases of guns were stolen by the hoods that tried to sell Mom a gun early in the movie.

All's well that ends well, as they say, as Joe, with the help of Mom, prevent Parnell from leaving the country with the contraband.  And spoiler alert! we find out in the end that Joe finally proposed to Gwen and they are engaged. (A deleted scene on the DVD shows the proposal scene, but it was cut from the theatrical release. Watching it, I can see why.  It wasn't all that funny.)

So here is the skinny on Stone Face in comedy.  I still say he should stick to action, with the occasional comic barbs in certain situations.  But as for the fact that they are considered some of his worst movies? I would have you go watch Oscar (another comedy), or even The Specialist (not a comedy) before you decide that.

Well, that brings us to the time we need to leave the drive-in.  They are already shutting down the lights and blasting "Drunkenstein" through the speakers.  And my mom is texting me to see if I'll stop to get some milk. Drive safely, folks.

Quiggy

Sneaky Guys

 Note: The impetus for this review came as a result of listening to a podcast discussing the movie (Shat the Movies). In it they referenced a little anecdote that I found interesting.  It seems that during the production a couple of men claiming to represent Office of Naval Intelligence approached the director that in the interest of national security he could not reference a hand-held device that could decode codes.  It turned out that it was not really representatives of the government but just part of a prank. It has been suggested that Dan Aykroyd was behind the prank.

 

 

It's 1992. Late September. Hollywood unleashes a film that has star-studded cast. It has 3 Academy Award winners and 4 others who have been to the ceremonies as nominees for the prestigious award.  And one more who would also garner a nomination a few years later.  So this prestigious cast all came together for one film.  And although it was a pretty good success at the box office ($105 million on a $23 million budget), I am willing to bet that there are quite a few people out there that have never even heard of it. 

So the cast includes:

Robert Redford, winner of Best Director for Ordinary People and nominated for Best Actor for The Sting. (although ignored for Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, which I still consider a crime... and that's just the biggest snub,.  See the link above.)

Ben Kingsley, winner of the Best Actor for Gandhi. He was also nominated for Sexy Beast, Bugsy and House of Sand and Fog. (But not for Schindler's List. Pity.)

Sidney Poitier, winner of the Best Actor award for Lillies of the Field, and nominated for one for The Defiant Ones. (More snubs?  He was ignored for In the Heat of the Night, though his co-star, Rod Steiger was the winner of the Best Actor).

Dan Aykroyd, who was nominated for a Best Actor Driving Miss Daisy.

River Phoenix, who was nominated for Running on Empty.

Mary McDonnell, who was nominated for Dances with Wolves.

And briefly in this film, James Earl Jones, who had been nominated for The Great White Hope. (And probably should have gotten at least some recognition as the voice of Darth Vader if only he had received credit for it.  But since it was only his voice, and David Prowse pulled of the physical presence, I guess I'll have to give that one a pass.

Also appearing was David Strathairn, who would later get a nomination for Good Night and Good Luck.

 

None of these guys and girls actually pulled off anything like Academy Award performances in the film. (Although I will point out that until I saw him in another movie I was convinced that Strathairn was actually blind...)  But having such a prestigious cast should have made this movie more memorable. And you may be one who remembers it fondly... good for you.

I got to see the movie when it first hit the theaters.  I liked it enough to watch it more than once.  The movie is a bit dated by now as technology has surpassed that of what is portrayed in the film, although it was cutting edge at the tim.  It feels like a relic these days, but the acting makes it as watchable as it was in 1992.

 

Sneakers (1992): 

After an opening credits sequence which features anagram variations of the people involved in the movie:

A TURNIP CURES ELVIS

(Universal Picures)  Presents

A FEW ASTRAL CLERKS REPEL NEWARK

A (Lawrence Lasker Walter F. Parkes) Production

BLOND RHINO SPANIEL

A (Phil Alden Robinson) Film

FORT RED BORDER

(Robert Redford)

(This sequence acts as sort of a foreshadowing of a later development in the film, as we will see.)

Opening sequence: Two college friends Marty and Cosmo are messing around with early computer hacking, transferring money from such disparate agencies such as having the Republican Party donate a big chunk of money to the Black panthers and having then President Richard Nixon donate his entire money sources to NORML (the organization fighting to legalize marijuana). When Cosmo tricks Marty into being the one to go out and fetch pizza, Cosmo is left alone in the dorm, thus being the only one of the two to be arrested when police subsequently raid the place. A side note: the younger Cosmo is a fair likeness a possibly young Kingsley, but the young Marty with his mustache is so similar to Redford in his younger days it's pretty impressive.

The actual film story begins as Martin Bishop (Robert Redford) and his crew prepare to infiltrate a bank.  After shutting down the security systems and distracting the security guard, they use their tech to transfer a large sum of money to a bank account that Bishop had previously opened. Bishop's crew consists of Donald Crease (Sidney Poitier), a former C.I.A. agent, "Mother" (Dan Aykroyd), an electronics wiz (and for comedy relief, a conspiracy theorist of the highest order), Carl (River Phoenix), a teenage hacker extraordinaire, and "Whistler" (David Strathairn) a blind man who can do wonders with telephone technology.

But it's all in the name of the job that Bishop and his crew perform ; that of finding flaws in the security systems of companies that hire them. (And they must charge out the wazoo for this because I really don't see how it could be a profitable business, even in the 90's, Seems too specialized to me.)

After taking care of business, Bishop is followed by two men Buddy (Eddie Jones) and Dick (Timothy Busfield). The men claim to be from the National Security Agency and want to hire Bishop to steal a "black box" being developed by Professor Gunter Janek (Donal Logue). Under the guise of a corporation called "Setec Astronomy", Janek is supposed to have created something for the Russian government that the NSA is highly interested in.

Yeah, in 1992. I know what you're thinking, and Bishop addresses it. The Russians? "Give me a break. We won. They lost. It's been in a couple of papers."

But as the agents say "We still spy on them and they still spy on us." So, to the effect of stealing the black box, the company sets up a surveillance of Janek's office.  And find out the box is hidden in plain sight on his desk. Bishop breaks in and gets away with the box,  Back at their headquarters they find out the "macguffin" is a code breaker that can break into the most secure computer systems in the world. And through a game of using Scrabble tiles, they figure out that SETEC ASTRONOMY anagrams to "Too many secrets". (See I told you that anagram thing in the credits would turn out to be important). 

Realizing that any agency in the world would kill to get their hands on the device, Crease insists on a lock down until the box can be handed off to the NSA. The next day Bishop delivers the box to the NSA agents.  But Bishop finds out that Dr. Janek was killed, and becomes suspicious. He leaves the "agents" without even collecting the money and the "agents" try to kill him.

Back at headquarters there is a group of friends who are in turmoil.  Who was behind it all?  Certainly not the NSA, because the real NSA calls and wants their black box.  Bishop ends up going to an old acquaintance, Grigor (George Hearn) a former KGB agent. But Grigor says the Russians, although they would love to get their hands on the thing, are not involved.

So who is?  Well, the big surprise is, after Grigor is killed and Bishop is taken hostage, he finds himself  face-to-face with his old friend Cosmo (Ben Kingsley). It is a surprise because Bishop was under the impression that Cosmo had died in prison.  It turns out that while Cosmo was in prison he made himself invaluable to certain members of the Mafia and afterwards became a big shot.  So it's not the Russians but the criminal underworld who are behind the scenes of the crime.

Bishop, whose real name was Martin Brice, soon becomes a fugitive because now that the Mafia, or more specifically Cosmo, has the black box, the file on Martin Brice can be amended to show an alias, It was Bishop's gun that was used to kill Grigor, so Bishop a.ka. Brice will show up on the FBI's fingerprints file.. (BTW, if you're asking yourself how Martin Brice's fingerprints got on file in the first place since he avoided the arrest with Cosmo, you found one of the flaws in the story.)

So Cosmo lets Bishop go.  After all, his revenge is in place with the change of the FBI files making Bishop the target of the law enforcement.  So Bishop and his crew are under two threats now. (The other is the NSA, who were the real backers of Janek's box, because they want their box back.

The final reel of the film involves some of the most intense uses of the abilities of the team, which now includes Liz (Mary McDonnell) who had come on board initially to help Martin decipher Janek's techno speak.  Liz gets to be the computer date for a nebbish, Werner Brandeis (Stephen Tobolowsky), who just happens to have the office next door to Cosmo's, so they can access the place where the box is stashed.

Eventually, of course, Martin retrieves the box and hands it off to the agent from the NSA who shows up to retrieve it (played by James Earl Jones). And the trade off that the crew demands is pretty entertaining in itself.

One of the highlights in this film, for me anyway, is the rather hilarious "conspiracy theories" that Mother keeps spouting. Most of the rest of the crew just accept them as de rigueur, but Kreese's reactions are a hoot.

Despite the fact that much of this film's technology seems a little outdated by today's standards, it is not all that surprising that it still holds up as a thriller.  The basic premise of espionage and double cross will still entertain.  I just re-watched it today and was still excited by it even though I knew almost every twist and turn from the film by heart.

Well folks, time to fire up this old wreck of a Plymouth and head home. And if there are any suspicious cars waiting outside, I'm heading to Brazil.  Drive safely, folks.

I, GQ GUY

(Quiggy)