Semiquincentennial Movie Project #35: King Kung Fu

Note: for only the second time during this event circumstances delayed my usual Sunday post by a couple of days. Sorry.

 

The Semiquincentennial  Movie Project is an ongoing celebration of the 250th anniversary of the founding of the United States. During the course of this project your humble blogger is choosing a movie a week to represent each of the 50 states in the Union, as well as a movie scheduled for 4th of July weekend that will represent the nation's capitol, Washington D.C. The order of the weekly entries will coincide with the order of each state's entry into the fold (although, not necessarily coinciding with the date of their entry into said fold).

 

Week #35: Kansas

 

The state of Kansas was established on Jan. 29, 1861 

Details about Kansas:

State bird: western meadowlark

State flower: sunflower

State tree: cottonwood

Additional historical trivia:

Helium was first discovered in Kansas.

The fist woman to be elected mayor of a town in the U.S, was Susan Salter, in Argonia in 1887. (Before women could even vote...)

Both White Castle Hamburgers and Pizza Hut got started in Kansas.

Those nutty Kansas people were the first to ever pass a law prohibiting the manufacture and sale of alcohol (before Prohibition).

Near Lebanon, there is a site that is officially the geodetic center of the contiguous United States (meaning all states not including Alaska or Hawaii). 

Famous people born in Kansas: Amelia Earhart,  Hattie McDaniel (the first black woman to win an Oscar), Buster Keaton, Kirstie Alley, (except for Steve Walsh) the original lineup of the band Kansas, Melissa Etheridge, Charlie Parker, and Vice President Bob Dole. (Note: Although he was raised in Kansas, President Dwight D. Eisenhower was born in Texas). 

 

Movie (1987): 

Note: I'm dedicating this post to a friend of mine, Kerry, in Kansas, a fellow "cheese and sleaze" movie lover. When I told him that I was picking King Kung Fu for my choice to represent Kansas in the Semiquincentennial Movie Project, he was somewhat dismissive, suggesting I pick something like The Day After. I don't know for sure if he has even seen this movie...  If not, fire up the DVD player, Kerry!

King Kung Fu (1987):

Filmed in the astounding form of SimianScope! (Really!) 

Our story begins in China (of course), where the celebrated Kung Fu Master,  Al Funku (Jim Erickson), is preparing to send his pet gorilla and now karate master, Jungle Jumper (played by John Ballee in the cheesiest gorilla costume this side of Robot Monster), to the United States. Basically he's just dumping his problems off on unsuspecting friends, since he can no longer control the ape... (BTW, you might be tempted to be offended that a white guy is playing a Chinese guy, but he's not doing it in a ridiculously racist manner. In fact, he often drops the fake Chinese accent and just plays it straight.)

Arriving in San Francisco, Jungle Jumper, now rechristened King Kung Fu, is put on board a train to ship to the New York Zoo. But there is a stopover in, of all places, Wichita, Kansas. There the gorilla will make an appearance for the delight of the locals at the Sedgwick County Zoo. 

 

The event is announced by a reporter for the local Eyewitless News (no, that's not a typo... Eyewitless News... this is a comedy... just in case you might have been thinking horror or monster movie...) 

Watching the news are a pair of mental giants, Bo Burgess (Billy Schwartz) and his pal, Herman (Tim McGill), who are upset that the local news is using a second rate reporter when the two of them are miles ahead in talent, but apparently not so "miles ahead" that they can be employed as reporters themselves. These two hatch a plan that will make them candidates, they hope, for real employment. They plan to get a scoop that will make them local stars.

 

So what is this "scoop"? They plan to help King Kung Fu escape, later to recapture him and make headlines. IT COULD WORK!!!

Remember, this movie is primarily supposed to be taking place in the late seventies, so much of the story involves things that were topical at the time, whether or not they were still topical when the movie was completed. As such, Bo and Herman's plans to distract the crowd so they can free the gorilla involve getting Rae Faye (Maxine Gray), a female acquaintance of Bo, to do some streaking at the event. (At this late a date I may have to qualify that term... "streaking" was a fad in the seventies in which a person took off all their clothes and ran into a crowd).

Except this is a (sort of) family movie, so Rae Faye isn't actually going to strip down to the buff. She will be wearing a bikini. And just to make sure she doesn't sunburn, Bo brings along a bottle of suntan oil (which he has replaced with banana oil, and if you don't know why, perhaps you better drop out of this review now...) But Rae Faye doesn't want any suntan oil, so Bo tries to get her to wear it as perfume. Which she doesn't want any of that either...

Ultimately it takes a couple of attempts for the bumbling would be reporters to succeed in the attempt to free King Kung Fu. 

 

And even then, the plan goes awry, because the big ape escapes. Leading to the best part of the movie, the varied attempts and shenanigans that King Kung Fu and the reporters end up in during the monkey's free-for-all.

 

But if that not all of it. There is also a overly enthusiastic law enforcement officer trying to corral the escaped simian. This is done by an over the top parody performance by Tom Leahy as a witless J. W. Duke, one of the more ridiculous but also more humorous performances. (Just in case you miss it, "J. W." is doing a balls out imitation of John Wayne, and to drive home the parody, his second-in-command is named "Pilgrim"...) 

 

I don't want to give away too much of this film. Gotta leave some stuff for you to watch for yourself. Besides, some of the antics by the ape are so over the top you will probably groan. One little inducement to further whet your interest: They didn't have an Empire State Building (the battle scene from the original King Kong) or the Twin Towers (the final battle site for the 1976 King Kong), but they had the tallest building in Wichita to film a free-for-all between King Kung Fu and his foes... the local Holiday Inn, at the time the tallest building in Wichita, maybe even in the whole state... Besides. this is just a normal sized up. One of those really huge buildings would have detracted from the ape itself.

 

Is this film as funny as, say, Blazing Saddles, a parody of which I am enamored? Well, not really. But then, the whole appeal for this one is it's cheesiness, rather than it's quality humor and acting. 

The background to this film is about as strange and funny as the actual film. It was originally scheduled to be completed in time to compete with the big budget extravaganza remake of King Kong, due to be released in 1976. Unfortunately the producers ran out of money and the project was shelved.  But then, in 1987, 10 years after the fact, they must have managed to gather up enough money to finish it. The result looks quite a bit like the low budget values imbued into an average Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode. None of the actors are very competent acting wise, but that's what makes the entire thing enjoyable to someone like me.

On that note, none of the actors or actresses even had a career outside of this movie. I think most of them were probably just locals that the producers talked into being a part of the film. There is one big name, however.  The part of Myrtle was played by the famous Lois Ayres. Who the heck is "Lois Ayres" you're asking? OK, the joke is on you... her extensive career outside of this film was as a porn actress... She made around 150 of them from the early 80's through the 90's. (She's fully clothed in this movie... and playing an old lady to boot, so don't get your bonnet in a bustle...)

 

A documentary I watched on the making of this film (there was a "making of King Kung Fu" documentary???) has one of the producers saying that this movie was kind of like a live action comic strip. That in essence is a great sum up. Let's face it. If you come into the film expecting a quality production, or even a low-budget quality production, you are doomed to disappointment. It is pretty much a film done by amateurs who only had a basic working knowledge of how to make a movie. (Although one of them did graduate from KU with a film degree... See, Kerry? It has a hometown connection...) The pdirector ends up saying, at the end of that documentary, that although it was not up to the best that he wanted that, in the end, he "wanted to make a movie and I did it, and not everybody can say that."

It only costs $300,000 to make, however, since it was not released nationally, only locally, it probably just barely recouped it's production costs. But in later years it has become a cult classic. As I understand it it is a fairly popular movie in Wichita. Which is kind of like saying "well, it's good, but will it play in Peoria...?" It premiered at the Crest Theater in Wichita, and according to the documentary, the crowd there liked it. I think it's probably mostly well known through word of mouth from cult lovers of cheesy low budget schlock like me, however.

As ridiculous as this movie is, it is all done with intentional comedy, unlike A*P*E*, which was made as a serious attempt at cashing in on 1976's King Kong. 

Well, folks, that wraps up my Kansas entry. Hope to get back on track for my regular Sunday posting for the next one.

Quiggy

 

 

Semiquincentennial Movie Project #32: Car Wash

 

 

The Semiquincentennial  Movie Project is an ongoing celebration of the 250th anniversary of the founding of the United States. During the course of this project your humble blogger is choosing a movie a week to represent each of the 50 states in the Union, as well as a movie scheduled for 4th of July weekend that will represent the nation's capitol, Washington D.C. The order of the weekly entries will coincide with the order of each state's entry into the fold (although, not necessarily coinciding with the date of their entry into said fold).

 

 

Week #32: California -

 

 

The state of California was established on Sept. 9, 1850.

Details about California:

State bird: valley quail

State flower: golden poppy

State tree: redwood

Additional historical trivia:

The name California came from a novel by Garci Rodriguez de Montalvo about a fictional island.

It's the only U.S. state to ever host a summer AND a winter Olympics. 

Fortune cookies originated in either Los Angeles or Chinatown area of San Francisco.

California has an official state "ghost town". It's Bodie and it's an official state landmark.

California has a bigger population than many independent countries in the world.

San Bernadino County clocks in as the biggest county in the whole country.

Famous people born in California: U.S. President Richard Nixon, Steve Jobs, Tiger Woods, Robert Redford, Ray Harryhausen, Madonna, Sammy Hagar, Randy Rhoads and way too many more to name...

  

Movie (1976): 

Note: In my previous reviews of Dazed and Confused and 200 Cigarettes I took a different approach to reviewing the films because, like today's film, those other two didn't really have a coherent straight forward plot. Each of these movies is more along the lines of a series of character studies. Therefore, instead of a review of the plot I chose to focus a brief overview of some of the characters that show up throughout the film (which, BTW, takes place over the span of only one day, much like those other two films).

The setting for the film is the Dee-Luxe Car Wash in Los Angeles. I did a little research, out of curiosity. The car wash that was used to film the movie was one located near MacArthur Park. Unfortunately it was torn down in the 80's and there is a strip mall on the site. (See? OCD does have some uses...)  And notice the buildings in the background... still the same 50 years later.

circa 1976

circa 2026

So the cast includes these. And these are listed in order of my favorites, not necessarily the order of their appearance in the film.  I also include a smattering of what I call Check Him Out In, which is a list of some other films in which to find the actor, as well as a favorite line from the film for each.

T.C. (Franklin Ajaye):

T.C. is a free spirit who sports an afro that the local planes flying in to the airport must have to have clearance warnings for. T.C. has only two abiding interests; disco music and Mona, a waitress at a local dive. His main goal, at least today, is to combine them both. That is he wants to win free tickets to a disco show that the local radio station is giving away, and then get Mona to go with him.

Best line (in response to Mona telling him the special at the restaurant for the day is ribs and wings):

"I've always been a breast and thigh man, myself." (Me too, T.C., me too...)

Check Him Out In: (Convoy, The Wrong Guys)

 

Lindy  (Antonio Fargas):

 

Lindy is the token "gay" character of the film. In as much as he is a caricature of what was typical at the time, Lindy may be problematic for the homosexual community, I don't really know for sure.  I think it's done with at least a modicum of taste. Lindy is always looking good, somewhat like Klinger did when he wore women's clothes on M*A*S*H*.

Best line (in response to a disparaging remark about his masculinity from Abdullah):

"Honey, I'm more man than you'll ever be and more woman than you'll ever get."

Check Him Out In: (The Starsky and Hutch TV series, Foxy Brown, Across 110th Street)

 

Abdullah (a.k.a. Duane) (Bill Duke): 

 

Abdullah is a new convert to Black Muslim theology, and is the essence of a disgruntled black man who has nothing but hostility towards the white race, and by association, anyone of the black race that he thinks of as an "Uncle Tom". As such Abdullah doesn't get any respect from his coworkers, except maybe Lonnie. I like Duke's performance here more than the character he is playing, and I think that is a credit to Duke. He stands out as one of the more memorable characters. And it was Duke's film debut!

Best line (to Daddy Rich):

"You talkin' just like a pimp!" 

Check Him Out In: (Predator, Menace II Society, Payback) 

 

Daddy Rich (Richard Pryor):

 

Daddy Rich is a local bigwig preacher, but not the kind of preacher that spouts hellfire and brimstone. Daddy Rich is a black version of someone like Joel Osteen, a preacher who spouts an entitlement theology (take the money because it's a God-given right to take the money). Except for Abdullah most of the employees look up to Daddy Rich, because he is successful (monetarily). 

Best line:

"There is a good place in this world for money and I know where it is. It's right here in my pocket!" 

 Check Him Out In: (Seriously? There are lots. But just to name a few. Silver Streak, Stir Crazy, Jo Jo Dancer, Your Life is Calling, Uptown Saturday Night)

 

Scruggs (Jack Kehoe):

 

 

Ostensibly the "token white guy" in an all-black comedy, Scruggs is adorable. He plays a guy who is stressing out over the previous night's festivities. Apparently he had stayed out all night partying, failing to show up at home. He still hasn't shown up and is sick to death over what his wife is going to do. And apparently he participated in some extramarital adventures and is now worried he has a memory of the night he'd prefer not to have. (If I have to be more explicit, you are in the wrong theater...)

Best line (while on the phone to a clinic):

"Well, it's just kinda hangin' there, lookin' sick..." 

Check Him Out In: The Sting, The Untouchables, Serpico. 

 

Car Wash is replete with other characters who don't get enough screen time to really make an impact. I particularly like Geronimo (Ray Vitte). Vitte had a very short career. He died at age 33 from, I think, sickle cell anemia. But he was memorable whenever he showed up in film and TV. He was a friend and band member of Pedro (Cheech Marin) in Up in Smoke and he played a DJ in Thank God It's Friday. Lloyd and Floyd are pretty good as a pair of wannabe singers. Lloyd, BTW, was played by De Wayne Jessie, who had a separate career as a singer with Otis Day and the Knights. Otis and the band were created for a couple of scenes in Animal House, but went on to perform for real (much like Spinal Tap). Richard Brestoff is pretty good as the son of the car wash owner, who would rather be a Communist following Mao than be the son of a member of the white establishment. But even the people he really wants to connect with, the black working men, don't take him seriously. And I can't forget to mention Ivan Dixon as Lonnie. Ivan was most memorable as Kinchloe in the TV series Hogan's Heroes. He had retired from acting by this time to direct and produce films, but came out of retirement specifically for this role.

There are numerous other cameo roles throughout the film. Lorraine Gary, who played Chief Brody's wife in the Jaws movies, has a bit part as an overly hysterical upper crust woman worried more about what damage her Mercedes is going to take as a result of her kid throwing up on it than she is about the kid himself. Carmine Caridi, whose biggest impact was as gangsters in movies like The Godfather movies and Bugsy, shows up as a rather loser of a father who leaves his Doberman in the car, apparently just to mess with the attendants.

There is one minor complaint as far as it goes. I think they underused George Carlin, who makes several appearances in the film. But his sole purpose is kind of lame. He plays a cab driver, and his sole impact is he's just wandering around trying to find a girl who ditched him mid cab ride without paying her fare. That fare girl, as well, is not entirely all that interesting. The movie describes her character as a hooker. She hides out in the restroom changing her outfit for most of the movie and doesn't really have much to do once she finally comes out of it.

Car Wash made a pretty decent profit at the box office, bringing in $14 million against a $2 million budget, and currently holds an 86% Fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Our old buddy Roger Ebert actually liked the movie, giving it 3½ out of 4 stars, and his cohort Gene Siskel granted it 3 out of 4 stars. 

Interestingly enough (and here's a shocker for you highbrow readers who think Citizen Kane is high art and movies like this are only for the lowbrow masses...), Car Wash was actually a candidate in the final running  for the Palme d'Or  in the 1977 Cannes Film Festival, To be considered along the likes of Paolo and Vittorio Taviani's Padre Padrone, the winner of that year's prize, as well as Wim Wender's The American Friend, Robert Altman's 3 Women and Ettore Scola's A Special Day I think is pretty significant. It even won two awards, for Best Music and the Technical Grand Prize.

From an interesting video I found on Car Wash:

If you saw this on commercial TV,  you saw a slightly different version. There were deleted portions, that focused on the gay character, Lindy, taken out, and instead inserted scenes that had been originally deleted from the theatrical release. These involved, believe it or not, Danny DeVito and Brooke Adams as a couple who owned a diner next door to the car wash. I couldn't find any clips online of the deleted scenes, so I don't even really know how DeVito made out in the role, but I bet he was pretty good.

Another interesting fact in that video. The producers created the soundtrack prior to actually filming the movie. Thus, when the characters are on screen dancing and jigging to songs on the soundtrack they actually ARE dancing and jigging to the actual songs, not just faking it to a music that would be added later. This was at the time a new development. Most movies would only add the soundtrack AFTER production had wrapped. This created a scene that was real, as opposed to just having the people dance to a song that wasn't even there.

And finally: this movie was originally written to be a stage play for Broadway. The writers envisioned a full blown stage play, complete with some working stage props to give it an authentic look. (Imagine all those people in the first few rows getting wet from the on stage action... I don't know about you, but it sounds somewhat like being front row for a Gallagher concert. Google "Gallagher" if you don't get it...) 

Well, folks, that's it for this time. Drive safely. And preferably in a nice clean car... 

 Quiggy

 

Celebrate the Drive-In Week: Drive-In

Celebrate the Drive-In is a tribute to a beloved venue of the past. During it's heyday, a trip to the drive-in was one of my favorite things, both on the rare occasions as a child, and in my early adulthood. This blog is going to celebrate Drive-In Day (June 6) with a series of movies that I was too young to see (or in a couple of cases, not even born yet) that I wish I could've experienced in a drive-in. Keep coming back for the entire week as there will be one per day for the duration.

It's Saturday night! Let's go somewhere where we can party like Monday isn't a school day! Presenting the next Coming Attraction! Drive-In!

 

The word "kismet" comes to mind. What better way to wrap up the Celebrate the Drive-In Week than with a movie titled Drive-In?

I would be highly surprised if you have heard of any of the actors and actresses that populate the cast of this movie.  Hell, the director is probably the most prominent name in the credits, Rod Amateau...  He directed most of the episodes of the 50's TV shows The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show and The Bob Cummings Show, as well as most of the episodes of the 60's TV show The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis. He was primarily a TV director, although he did branch out occasionally to direct feature films. If you are, like me, a devotee of really bad movies, he was also responsible for The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (often cited as one of the "worst movies of all time").

I should point out that not ALL of the actors in this film are complete nobodies. The main character of Orville is played by Glenn Morshower, who had a recurring role on the TV show 24 over the span of it's life as a TV series. And if you saw the film Raising Arizona, Trey Wilson was the bigwig father of the baby that Nicholas Cage and Holly Hunter kidnap. He was also Col. Nivens in a film I reviewed on this blog a few years ago, A Soldier's Story. Still, those two are exceptions. Most of rest of the cast have only this film, or maybe one or two more, to their credit. 

I would also be highly surprised if you don't think "Hey! I've seen this movie before!" The fact is there is almost nothing original going on here. Have you seen American Graffiti? Well, in this movie you get the white bread borderline goody goody redhead who is looking to hang out for one night with his tag along friend (here it's the character's little brother, but still...)  

 

Have you seen Grease? You get the somewhat rough girl who has grown tired of her hoodlum boyfriend as is looking to make a change. Have you seen Dazed and Confused? You get the fight between a guy who is out of his league taking on the hoodlum bigwig who is giving him hassles.  

 

Have you seen a movie (hundreds of possible comparisons here) where a wide-eyed African American is played up for laughs? Here the guy is a doctor instead of the typical stereotyped servant, but still the similarities come through.

 

The movie playing at the drive-in in the movie is not even original. Parodies of disaster flicks such as Airplane! and The Big Bus played out the theme with a bit more panache. But, in fact, most of the really funny parts of Drive-In occur in the movie within the movie (here titled Disaster '76), although I'm not entirely sure if Disaster '76 was intentionally meant as a parody, at least within the context of it's presentation to the audience in the film. That fake film uses some pretty funny stuff as it comes off like a parody of Airplane!, The Towering Inferno and Jaws, all rolled into one. But I think that the movie itself was supposed to be a serious disaster flick to the characters at the drive-in premiere.

 

Really, one of the better parts of Drive-In are some of the unique places where the soundtrack plays along with the action on the screen. The soundtrack is an anomaly, at least for a film that was made in 1976, and has a mostly teen cast. Instead of pop and rock songs, the soundtrack is filled with country(?) music. OK, so the movie takes place in west TEXAS, and probably more of the populace in that region were listening to the local country station as opposed to a pop / American Top 40 station, so maybe it was fitting in terms of it's setting.

The Statler Brothers song, "Whatever Happened to Randolph Scott?" plays over the opening credits (which credits, by the way, does not include the actors names... those don't come until the end credits. But like I said at the beginning, you probably don't know any of these people anyway...) The lyrics to that song fit along very well with the story as it plays out, however.

"Everybody knows when you go to the show you can't take the kids along.
You've gotta read the paper and know the code of G, PG and R and X.
And you gotta know what the movie's about before you even go.
Tex Ritter's gone and Disney's dead and the screen is filled with sex.

Whatever happened to Randolph Scott ridin' the trail alone?
Whatever happened to Gene and Tex and Roy and Rex, the Durango Kid?
Oh, whatever happened to Randolph Scott, his horse plain as could be?
Whatever happened to Randolph Scott has happened to the best of me.

Everybody's tryin' to make a comment about our doubts and fears.
True Grit's the only movie I've really understood in years.
You gotta take your analyst along to see if it's fit to see.
Whatever happened to Randolph Scott has happened to the industry.

Whatever happened to Johnny Mack Brown and Alan Rocky Lane?
Whatever happened to Lash LaRue? I'd love to see them again.
Whatever happened to Smiley Burnette Tim Holt and Gene Autry?
Whatever happened to all of these has happened to the best of me.

Whatever happened to Randolph Scott has happened to the industry."

 

Hey, as nostalgic and somewhat idealistic as it sounds, there were, and probably still are, people who feel the same way. My sister would be one of those. (And, no, she didn't watch this with me...)

 

 

  

Drive-In (1976):

In the summer of 1976, everybody in the small Texas town in this film are preparing for the event of the summer, a premiere of a new disaster movie, Disaster '76. (This is the glue that holds the film together, ostensibly.  There are a few subplots going on, but none of them would be enough to make this film interesting if they were the sole focus.) 

Note: The town, BTW, is never actually named, but it was filmed in Terrell, TX, which at the time only had about 15,000 population. So the small town feel comes through. And Terrell had it's own drive-in theater at the time which was used as the location for the drive-in in the film. Elsewhere I found out that that drive-in has been replaced by a bank... So their reminiscences probably parallel mine on the drive-in experience.

The main characters include Orville (Glenn Morshower) and his little brother (Gary Lee Cavagnaro). The brother (credited by the name "Little Bit", although I don't recall anybody in the film addressing him by any name), is looking up to his older brother, but is dismissive of being able to learn how to approach women, since he basically views Orville as a dweeb. 

 

Also, there is Glowie (Lisa Lemole; who is now better known to people as the wife of Dr. Oz, so maybe there is one more person in the film you might recognize...) Glowie has had a relationship with the leader of a pack of town hoodlums, Enoch (Billy Milliken), but she has grown increasingly frustrated with Enoch, probably mainly because he treats her like property instead of as an individual.

 

You can probably see the conflict coming a mile away, since early on Glowie hooks up with Orville, not only to the surprise of Little Bit, but also to the surprise of Orville himself.  Orville is not entirely on board with this new relationship, mostly because he has not had much success in attracting female companionship in his life. I think he is just a little "so, what's the catch..." viewpoint, which I would feel pretty much the same way, since I too was kind of like that when I was the same age. 

At the same time as all of this is going on, two rather dimwitted would be thieves are planning to rob the drive-in of it's cash collection. Gifford (Trey Wilson) and Will (Gordon Hurst) would be better off if they gave up the life of petty crime and instead went to Detroit to train to be diesel mechanics, as one of them suggests.  If you watch these two in action you may just wonder how they ever had any previous successes at their endeavors in crime. Although listening to them talk, I'm not sure that "success" was ever a part of their vocabulary...

 

The other running story in this film is about a gang called The Widow Makers (of which Enoch is the leader). Why are they called The Widow Makers? Who the hell knows? They seem to be some kind of nod to a motorcycle gang, except they don't ride around on motorcycles... Instead they drive around in a cheesy decked out van that looks like something that a disco dude would drive. 

 

They are on the lookout for a rival gang at the drive-in where they are hoping to have a rumble. The Widow Makers don't look like they could cause much fear, however. Looks like a gang of senior citizens could take them out with no problem. For that matter, so does the other gang (who also do their running around in a van...)

Enoch, having just been told by Glowie to go fly his kite in someone else's front yard, is also looking for the dude that Glowie left him for, who, coincidentally is also the guy who knocked the driver's side door of his van off it's hinges. And, as you found out from earlier in this review, is the town dweeb. The showdown at high noon midnight 9:17 PM is one of the focal events that happen at the drive-in that night, but it doesn't inspire an nail-biting, or for that matter any thumb twidgeting... 

The most exciting action in the entire movie is a car chase that occurs in the parking lot after our two bumbling desperadoes try to escape with the cash box. A would be hero, Bill (Kent Perkins, who, BTW, was married to Ruth Buzzi), chases the doofuses around the place, leading to one of the few times that I laughed at something that wasn't on the drive-in screen.   

 

And, of course, you couldn't have a 70's teen movie without an obligatory scene with someone smoking wacky tobacky...  A guy has taken his mother to see the picture, and when she complains about his hospitality, bemoaning the fact that he doesn't even offer her a cigarette, he obliges, but not with the kind of cigarette she was expecting....

 

 

It may take a concerted effort on your part to follow the plot lines of these individual characters, and just maybe you won't be entirely successful. But as I hinted earlier, it is worth a watch just to watch the scenes that are playing out on the theater screen. Word of warning, however: There is a scene in the film within the film where a plane crashes into a skyscraper. While this may have been funny in it's original playing, it is not at all funny now, given the recent history. But I think it is not entirely fair to retroactively judge it as ALL in bad taste. This movie was made in 1976, 35 years away from those horrific events of 9/11. 

The film has its share of incoherent scenes. I chalk this up to the mish mash writing by the screenwriter, who apparently tried to jam any references to current movies he could into one script. For instance, there is one scene early in the film where a semi driver is being chased by the local cops. He thinks he's ditched them when he hides the truck behind a building, but he's wrong. The problem with this scene is that driver never makes another appearance in the film, ever. So what was the point of the scene, other than to establish that this town does indeed have a police department? The best excuse I can come up with is it was some kind of nod to trucker movies (although the iconic trucker film,  Smokey and the Bandit, was still a year away from appearing on the big screen). 

In terms of reception of this movie, I really liked what Gene Siskel had to say: He gave the film 2 out of 4 stars and said he wished the film had been focused on fleshing out the fake movie, Disaster '76, rather than the activities going on in the theater. In the wikipedia article on the film, it apparently was received as a decent typical juvenile effort, not disparaged, but not lauded either, so Siskel's 2 out of 4 is probably about the same as the rest of the reviews at the time. Rotten Tomatoes has the film at 53% Fresh. I couldn't find any information on what kind of profit the movie made, but given that it had no big name stars, it probably didn't cost a hell of a lot to make. I bet the biggest expense was renting the drive-in theater where the film was made. So a profit was probably a foregone conclusion.

As to my opinion: I have to admit this movie did have a small bit of appeal, but it's definitely not in my top 100 of movies I've seen. Give it a shot, but don't expect too much. I will say it is a damn sight better than the director's other foray into big screen work, the aforementioned The Garbage Pail Kids Movie. But, then, watching a marbles tournament would be more interesting than THAT one...

That's it for today, folks. And also a wrap-up for the Celebrate the Drive-In Week event. Hope you all had fun. Drive safely.

Quiggy

 

 

Sherlock Holmes vs. "The White Devil"

 

This is my entry in the Robert Duvall Blogathon hosted by Taking Up Room.

 

 

The Seven-Per-Cent Solution started out life as a novel written by Nicholas Meyer. Meyer, by the way, is also a director of movies, having been at the helm of my two favorite movies in the Star Trek movie franchise, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan and Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country. He also directed Time After Time. He was not, however, the director for this movie. Instead, this film was directed by Herbert Ross. 

But this piece is not about Meyer, it's about Robert Duvall, whom we lost earlier this year. Duvall had a career that spanned from the early 50's, where he started out as a stage actor, through to his last film, The Pale Blue Eye in 2022. He was nominated 7 times for Oscars, winning only one of them, as the star of Tender Mercies. The first of those nominations, for Best Supporting Actor, came as a result of his portrayal of Tom Hagen in The Godfather. Unfortunately neither he, nor his co-star nominees, James Caan and Al Pacino, won the award. It went to Joel Grey for Cabaret. (And I'll just bet that, like the win for Marisa Tomei for My Cousin Vinny a few years later, that Grey got the Oscar because the majority of the voters were split between those other three. My vote would have gone to Caan, if you're interested...)

An early window into what Duvall would become is his role in To Kill a Mockingbird. where he played Boo Radley. It was his first screen role ad, although he had no speaking lines in the film, his brief presence was somewhat impressive.  It was the beginning of a screen career, but he didn't just pop out of the ether: few actors do. He had about 10 years under his belt doing on stage acting and bit parts on TV. Just one TV episode worth checking out: In an episode of Combat!, he was a captured German officer and had a significant part in the episode.

 

Over his film career Duvall played many great roles. Check out his portrayal of Gus in the TV miniseries Lonesome Dove, which I watched as a part of a Film and Prose Fiction English class when I was a student at Southwest Texas State University. And although my vote is on record for Peter O'Toole in The Stunt Man for the 1980 Best Actor Oscars, I have to admit that Duvall was pretty good in The Great Santini. (They both lost to Robert DeNiro in Raging Bull, BTW).

My favorite outings for Duvall would have to be as Major Frank Burns in M*A*S*H* and as the bad guy Ned Pepper in the John Wayne classic True Grit. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Seven-Per-Cent Solution (1976): 

Dr. John Watson (Robert Duvall) has a problem. His good friend, Sherlock Holmes (Nicol Williamson), has become very obsessive about a perceived threat from the most diabolical man on Earth, Dr. Moriarty (Laurence Olivier). As described by Holmes, Moriarty is basically King Spider, sitting at the base of his web and directing every evil and unorthodox act that is being committed, not just in London, or even the UK, but the world.

 

However, it would seem that Holmes' obsession is merely a part of his imagination. In reality Dr. Moriarty is just a humble teacher at a boys' school. His connection to Holmes is only that he was once a mathematics tutor to Sherlock and Mycroft when they were boys. And, as he points out to Watson during a private consultation, Moriarty has come to the conclusion that either Watson use his influence to get Holmes to leave him alone or he, Moriarty, is going to initiate legal action against Holmes. 

 

(The story diverges from the classic Conan Doyle story at this point. In "The Final Problem" Moriarty REALLY WAS a diabolical criminal...)  

The real problem is that Holmes has become unstable because he has become a victim to his seven percent solution of cocaine. In  other words, Holmes is now an addict. And since Cocaine Anonymous is still half a century in the future, other means are needed to engineer Holmes' release from the captivity of the white devil.

Watson knows of a man in Austria, Sigmund Freud (Alan Arkin), who has had some success with helping others overcome their addiction to drugs. The problem is Watson knows Holmes will not admit that he is addicted, much less go to Austria, because that would leave his nemesis to run amok in London without Holmes' watchful eye. So some subterfuge is needed to get Holmes to go to Austria in the first place. With the help of Holmes' brother, Mycroft (Charles Gray), and Moriarty himself, a ruse is developed. Moriarty will go to Austria and hopefully Holmes will follow.

 

Of course, the ruse is a success, although when Holmes discovers the real reason for getting him to come to Vienna he is not at all happy. Such is the essence of the addict: he refuses to admit that he is addicted. (I like the way the first part of this film plays out. Even though my own addiction, to alcohol, never really got to the point that I was refusing to admit I had a problem, I have seen that played out in the form of fellow members in my dealings with my own recovery through Alcoholics Anonymous). Freud's process of curing addiction involves a combination of hypnotism and abstinence.

 

The D.T.s that Holmes goes through during the abstinence part are probably very graphic and shocking to anyone who has never dealt with such issues, either with a loved one or with one's own experiences. The movies do a pretty decent job of it, although mostly it can come off a little melodramatic on screen. A better portrayal of the experience, in my opinion, is Ray Milland's Oscar winning role as Don Birnam in The Lost Weekend. And, although I haven't actually seen the movie yet, I understand that a scene with Nicholas Cage in Leaving Las Vegas is one of the best. 

 

Holmes struggles are stark, to say the least. He goes through the stages of his addiction which parallel the classic stages of grief. At first he denies he has a problem with cocaine. He is angry at both Watson, for bringing him to Freud in the first place, and at Freud for his insistence that, despite Holmes' denial of a problem, insists that he is indeed an addict. The bargaining he attempts in trying to get his friends to leave him alone and  the depression and resignation that he will never become cured play out in the later scenes of the recovery process. It is only when he finally accepts his addiction and works with Freud to overcome it that he finally starts to achieve some success.

 

The second part of the film is when the classic Holmes mystery starts to come into the story. There is a woman under the care of one of Freud's colleagues has her own issues. She has tried to commit suicide. Lola Deveraux (Vanessa Redgrave) had previously been a patient of Freud whom he had cured of her addiction, but Freud believes she has relapsed. Instead, Holmes, now with his deduction capabilities on full alert, deduces that she had been kidnapped, given drugs by her captors against her will, and had attempted suicide as a result. 

 

Lola is kidnapped from the hospital and Holmes and company are on the trail. A capture  of one of the abductors reveals a sinister plot. Lola's former lover, a Baron (Jeremy Kemp), has engineered her kidnap with the intent of delivering her to a bigwig of the Ottoman Empire, who wants her for his harem. The reason behind the Baron's evil plans is that he owes the bigwig big money for gambling debts and is going to use Lola to get them dismissed.

 

Ultimately the finale involves a train chase across the countryside as Holmes chases the Baron, trying to stop him before he can reach Istanbul. Success is imminent, of course. (Did you expect otherwise in a Holmes adventure?) 

 

After the adventure is over Freud performs one last session of hypnotism with Holmes to get to the bottom of why he has such an animosity for Moriarty. After the session is over Holmes decides to take a vacation, and gives Watson a suggestion for his disappearance; tell his readers that Holmes and Moriarty died in a hand-to-hand battle (thus explaining why the story of "The Final Problem" and "The Empty House" were written but do not fit the real events).

Duvall has had a varied response for his characterization of Dr. Watson. Many reviewers have disparaged his accent, saying it's not entirely believable that he is a Brit. I personally didn't have a problem with it, for the most part. Only once or twice did it sound false to me. But then, you must know my only experience with people of British descent is either with films from that part of the world or the occasional online AA meetings I have sat in on on Zoom. It should be duly noted that the National Society of Film Critics, a British organization, had Duvall coming in 3rd in the voting for the Best Supporting Actor award, proving that at least some people thought he did a good job.

My main problem with the movie was that the mystery surrounding the second half of the film was rather mundane. Even compared to the outings which had Arthur Wontner in the Holmes role (which I rank as the worst Holmes, BTW) have a more intriguing mystery playing out on screen. At least the film stuck to the traditional setting, the late 19th century. Nothing in the film tries to put anachronistic aspects into the story. The Basil Rathbone Holmes stories sometimes tended to have Holmes doing battle with Nazis... (And, BTW, I do like the recent BBC series, Sherlock, which puts Holmes in the 21st century. It's just that, as a traditionalist, I tend to like my Holmes in a gaslight, hansom cab milieu as opposed to trying to make him relevant to the times, given a choice).

It's interesting to note that when the film was reviewed by the critics of the time that The Seven-Per-Cent Solution garnered good reviews from American reviewers, but British reviewers came down a little harder on it. One of the British reviewers said it was "a turgid concoction which draws no life from the Holmes/Freud confrontation and seems particularly ill-plotted". 

The film was nominated for two Oscars. It was nominated for Best Screenplay from Another Medium (which it lost to All the President's Men) and for Best Costume Design (which it lost to Fellini's Casanova). Somehow it also got nominated for a Saturn Award for Best  Fantasy Film (???), but it lost that one, too.

Rotten Tomatoes gives it a 78% Fresh rating, which I think is fair. However, as I intimated earlier, the best part is the first half of the film. The second half could have been much better, if you ask me. 

That wraps it up for this entry. Time to hail the hansom cab and head home. Have a safe trip, folks.

Quiggy