Semiquincentennial Movie Project #3: Friday the 13th

 

 

The Semiquincentennial  Movie Project is an ongoing celebration of the 250th anniversary of the founding of the United States. During the course of this project your humble blogger is choosing a movie a week to represent each of the 50 states in the Union, as well as a movie scheduled for 4th of July weekend that will represent the nation's capitol, Washington D.C. The order of the weekly entries will coincide with the order of each state's entry into the fold (although, not necessarily coinciding with the date of their entry into said fold).

 

Week # 3:New Jersey:

 

The state of New Jersey was established on December 18, 1787. 

Details about New Jersey:

State bird: Eastern goldfinch

State flower: Purple violet

State tree: Red oak

The most important thing to remember about New Jersey is this is the place where it all started for people like me (fans of the drive-in theater). If not for a guy in New Jersey, this blog might have ended up being called The Good Ship Lollipop Theater. 

New Jersey has the distinction of being the "diner capital of the world" due to the fact that there are more diners in the state than any other state in the union. Good news for guys like Guy Fieri, host of Food Network's Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives.

New Jersey is the birthplace of many iconic figures in music and films. Frank Sinatra, Bruce Springsteen and Jon Bon Jovi were born in New Jersey, as well as Jack Nicholson, Meryl Streep and Michael Douglas. And that's just for a start.. For further interest.

Among other things that New Jersey has a claim to fame is the fact that both New York NFL teams play their home games in New Jersey. Several other sports teams, both major and minor leagues, in other fields that are ostensibly New York teams also play home games in New Jersey.

First a note and an apology: I had originally scheduled The Toxic Avenger to appear as the entry for New Jersey. But, since I had never actually watched it, I was just going with it because of my perceived reputation of the movie. I didn't know it started out the way it did. 10 minutes in I started to regret my decision, and after another 5 minutes I'd had enough. It starts out way too over the line in bad taste. And this opinion from the same blogger who brought you both Midnight Cowboy  AND Myra Breckenridge, A Clockwork Orange, and even Bloodsucking Pharaohs in Pittsburgh... Maybe I'm just getting old.

Friday the 13th (1980): 

(Another note: Once again, as usual, I try to keep images of the gorier scenes  at a minimum to avoid turning off the more prudish readers.)

Dateline: 1958. At Camp Crystal Lake all the children are asleep. The camp counselors are having a sing-a-long, along with the requisite activities you would expect from a group of older adolescents, including two of them who sneak away from the rest of the group to engage in an extracurricular project in which clothing is not required. While engaged in this somewhat illicit act, the pair are stalked by an unseen interloper, who proceeds to kill them both.

Dateline: Present day (1980).  A girl, Annie (Robbie Morgan) comes hiking into town looking for Camp Crystal Lake. She stops at a diner to ask directions and receives not a friendly welcome but some strange looks. She manages to hitch a ride with a trucker, Enos (Rex Everhart), who volunteers to take her up the road. Along the way a crazy townie warns her that she won't be coming back from "Camp Blood" because it's got a death curse. Enos fills her in on more details as he helps her along her way, including the two kids who were killed in 1958, a boy who drowned in 1957 and a bunch of fires. He encourages her to quit now, and not go on, but Annie is not afraid of these "cornball" rumors.

 

On their own way to Crystal Lake are three others; Jack (Kevin Bacon), Ned (Mark Nelson) and  Marcie (Jeannine Taylor). They arrive at the camp where Steve (Peter Brouwer) and Annie (Adrienne King) have already been at work trying to whip the camp into shape for their new campers. Bill (Harry Crosby, son, by the way, of Bing) and Brenda (Laurie Bertram) have also previously arrived and been helping out.

 

Meanwhile, back on the road, Annie is still hitchhiking to the camp. She gets picked up a mysterious figure (whom we don't see) who gives her a ride. Annie realizes that something is amiss when the driver goes by the entrance to the camp and jumps ship (jeep). But she is caught by the driver and slashed. We only see the hands of the figure, not the face. But those hands are definitely male hands... (remember that.) 

 

Steve takes off in his jeep to take care of some business, leaving the five helpers behind to finish their duties. While various shenanigans are going on back at the camp, a motorcycle cop shows up at the camp. He doesn't like these youngsters much, absolutely certain that there are some illicit drugs in the mix, but he warns them about that townie from the beginning of the film, Ralph (Walt Gorney), who has a tendency to believe his own delusions about the camp being cursed. Sure enough, after the officer leaves, Ralph sows up  spouting his doom and gloom. But he seems harmless enough, even if he is a little wacko.

 

It turns out that his doom and gloom speech, that they're all "doomed" is not that far from wrong.  First Ned sees a mysterious stranger enter one of the cabins and goes to investigate. Then Jack and Marcie decide to play a little of the old game "hide the salami". And Alice and Bill and Brenda decide to play a new version of Monopoly called "Strip Monopoly". Yep, you guessed it, the teenagers, being typically 1980's irrepressible and sexually uninhibited teenagers, are getting down and funky.

 

Back at the cabin, Jack and Marcie are making out, unaware that a recently slashed Ned is lying in the bunk above them.  Marcie leaves Jack to go to the outhouse, and guess what... the interloper who dispatched Ned has not left the cabin. Jack is dispatched in short order and the killer goes to the outhouse to look for Marcie, who is also removed from the land of the living.

If you're keeping track, only three people, not including the slasher, are left at the camp. Steve, for his part seems to have decided to stay out for the night. Back at the game, Brenda realizes she may have left the windows open in her cabin, so she exits the game. When she gets back to the cabin she decides just to stay in.     But she hears the cry of a boy calling for help, so like any good citizen she goes back out into the rain. And is taken out by our killer on the archery range.

Alice hears a scream, and she and Bill go to investigate. They find a bloody axe in Brenda's bed, but no Brenda. Their search for Jack and Marcie also proves fruitless.  The generator goes out and Bill goes to check on it leaving Alice alone. A short time later, Bill is also removed from the land of the living. (You notice, by this time, that the only one of the counselors still alive is the one who hasn't been fooling around? What are the filmmakers trying to say? Premarital sex will get you killed?) 

Steve, who has just been getting a bite to eat at the diner in town heads back to the camp. His jeep stalls (I think it's out of gas, Steve), but fortunately a police car comes along (with a far friendlier cop this time), and gives him a lift. Unfortunately before they can get to the gate to the camp the police car is called in on an emergency, leaving Steve to hike the rest of the way. As he approaches the gate, he meets the killer, who dispatches him. But it turns out Steve recognizes his assailant.

 

O.K. It gets a little hairy from here on out. As the sole survivor of this onslaught, Alice begins to panic and barricade the door to the cabin. But when she sees a jeep pull up she thinks it's Steve and rushes out to greet him in grateful thankfulness that there is someone coming to the rescue. It's not Steve however, but Mrs. Voorhees (Betsy Palmer) who claims to be an old friend of the owners. Still, she is a welcome sight to Alice who knows there is some deranged lunatic on the loose in the camp.

 

Spoiler alert! In case you are one of the very few who have never seen the ending, you better stop now. Just in case you don't know what the name of the star killer of this series of films is in the first place.

Mrs. Voorhees reveals that it was her son who was the drowning victim from 20 years ago at the camp. Her son drowned, she feels, because the camp counselors had abandoned their charges to engage in illicit sex instead. Which explains why the killer frowns upon irresponsible sex-obsessed teenagers. And, of course, it is none other than Mrs. Voorhees herself who is exacting revenge for the death or her son, Jason Voorhees.

A huge flight and fight ensues between Alice and Mrs. Voorhees. Of course, the winner of this battle is not Mrs. Voorhees. But there still may be some danger for Alice coming from another source... How did you think they managed to get 10 (so far) sequels (and one reboot) with Jason as the prime evil villain...?

On a budget of only about $500,000, the first movie in the franchise was essentially a blockbuster, pulling in almost $60 million. In the first two weeks of it's release it was #1 at the box office. And as noted in the previous paragraph, Jason became enough of a draw that the character's very name drew enough box office to keep it afloat as a franchise for over 20 years worth of sequels. Of all of the movies put out by Paramount in 1980, only Airplane! grossed more box office money than this one.

As could be expected from that quarter, the critics gave this movie a resounding negative review: "Silly, boring youth-geared horror movie",  "blatant exploitation of the lowest order" and "a shamelessly bad film" are just a hint of the vitriol that the reviewers spewed on it. According to the wikipedia article on the movie, Siskel and Ebert, in their TV movie review, devoted an entire episode to disparaging this and other slasher flicks. 

Obviously the lowbrow audience the movie was intended for reacted to it better than those of the highbrow movie critic board. As far as slasher flicks go it is not really all that great. Personally I think Freddy vs. Jason, the film that paired the Nightmare on Elm Street villain, Freddy Krueger against Friday the 13th's Jason Voorhees, was a much better film. But in terms of the slasher film overall, this one would pale by comparison to what was probably the king of slasher films, John Carpenter's Halloween. As much as I liked Freddy vs. Jason, I would dearly love to see Jason go head to head with Michael Myers.

Well, campers, until next week, take my advice and keep the kids at home from summer camp.

Quiggy

  

Hole-y Mole-y

 

"Golf is a good walk, spoiled." - Mark Twain

"It took me 17 years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on a golf course." -Babe Ruth

"Golf is a game in which you yell 'fore', hit six, and write down five." -Paul Harvey

"I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but shot my weight instead." -Bob Hope

The game of golf has been the subject of only a handful of movies. Many of them have been pretty serious. Some, based on true stories of legendary golfers are worth checking out: Bobby Jones: Stroke of Genius which relates the story of the only golfer to win four major tournaments of his era in one year, Tommy's Honour which follows a 19th century father-son golf team and their impact on the game, and Seve: The Movie which is about a legend of the game, Severiano Ballesteros.  One additional great movie, which segues somewhat to today's movie, is The Greatest Game Ever Played, which chronicles the story of a caddy who won the U.S. Open in 1913.

But golf has also been the subject of several comedic turns. Happy Gilmore featured Adam Sandler as a rambunctious hockey player who, having been banned from his preferred sport, takes up the game of golf and creates a contentious rivalry with his fellow golfers. Pat and Mike, a Spencer Tracy / Katherine Hepburn romantic comedy which featured Hepburn as a female athlete trying to make it in the sports world.  Several lowbrow entries like Golfballs, Hole in One, and National Lampoon's Teed Off enter the fray as films that centered on the game.

And then, of course, there's Tin Cup (which I have to include here by contract, even though I dislike Kevin Costner movies). Tin Cup is just Bull Durham with golf as the focus instead of baseball. (See? I TOLD you I dislike Costner...)

One of my earliest solo movie jaunts (movies that I got to see without asking my parents permission) was the 1980 film Caddyshack. (And I could have SWORN I had already reviewed this movie on this blog. It turns out that I only briefly referenced it in a review of another movie, Porky's.) Caddyshack was enough of a hit that it spawned a sequel, albeit with only one actor from the first movie reprising his role, and very few of those behind the scenes getting involved either. 

The original has a cache of great cast members lending their talents to the film. The ostensible stars of the film were Chevy Chase and Bill Murray, but Rodney Dangerfield steals the movie, especially in his interactions with Ted Knight (who, in my opinion, is a very undeservedly underrated comedian). Several other players in the movie deserve some recognition, too. 

One in particular, for me, is Sarah Holcomb as "Maggie". The sad story of Holcomb is she only had 4 roles in films before she departed for private life (one as the underage hookup in National Lampoon's Animal House, and note, she was not underage as an actress, being 19 when production started.) Another is Scott Colomby as "Tony". Colomby was also in the aforementioned Porky's and its sequels.

Even though he was the primary character in the film, I have to admit I wasn't really impressed with Michael O'Keefe, but that may have more to do with his character than his acting.  He was, after all, a nominee for Best Supporting Actor just a year before for his role in The Great Santini. To tell the truth, I thought he was much better in Nate and Hayes (although I am apparently in a minority on that one, since it was savaged by the critics).

Rumor has it this entire movie was adlibbed. Actually, the only part that is rumored to be adlibbed is the scene between Chevy Chase and Bill Murray in the scene that takes place in Carl's house.  Which is believable, since the entire confrontation between Carl and Ty was a late add-on scene filmed after most of the movie had been shot.  This was because Harold Ramis, the director, realized he had a whole movie filmed and there was no scene with the interaction of the two stars of the movie.

Of course, sources say that nearly ALL of Bill Murray's stuff was adlibbed.  From what I read, Ramis basically just gave Murray a few words about what the scene was about and let Murray wind himself up. Interestingly, the story goes that Carl was not even in the original script at all.  He was only added as a character when Murray came on board.

But even Rodney Dangerfield's scenes come off as adlibbed.  Sure the writers were old hands at comedy, and his part easily COULD have been scripted, but like Robin Williams, I think Dangerfield was probably a better comedian when he didn't have to stick to a generic script.

Caddyshack (1980):

The story opens with our "hero" of the movie (the only one that didn't get the credit it deserves for his contribution to the comedic aspects of the film), the Gopher. (Note: Despite the title of this piece, which is just an attempt at humor, gophers and moles are not the same thing, even though they are similar in many ways.) The Gopher is causing a havoc, as per it's nature, on the golf course of Bushwood Country Club.

The first scene shows us Danny Noonan (Michael O'Keefe), a young high school student who has no real ambition to continue on his perceived current path, which seems to be that he is destined to be just another employee at the local lumberyard.  He wants to go to college, but that costs money, something his current summer job as a caddy at the Bushwood golf course seems unlikely to provide.

He has one option open to him: He could apply for the scholarship that Bushwood awards each year to one it's caddies.  But that requires sucking up to the leader/founder of the country club, Judge Smails (Ted Knight).

Smails is an obnoxious rude jerk who looks down on virtually everyone that is under his social status, and is very obsequious to people he looks up to, which is not very many... He rules the country club with something like the self-important superiority that is often played in film by upper class people. (Apparently in Hollywood it's always easy to make the upper class the butt of jokes.  Hence the typical sneering way they treat members of the opposing political party. Even though it doesn't get in to politics, per se, you just KNOW Smails probably votes Republican).

There are a lot of subplots going on in this film.  One is the primary goal of Carl Spackler (Bill Murray), the barely coherent groundskeeper at the club, who has a job to eliminate the infiltration of a pest, the aforementioned Gopher.  Although he does have some trouble keeping his mind focused on the job at hand.  Hence, sometimes he is coming up with creative ways to eliminate his enemy and other times he is spying on some of the elderly female golfers. 

In addition there is Ty Webb (Chevy Chase).  Ty is a guy with no real goal in life except to play golf.  Apparently he is able to do that mostly because his father was co-founder along withe Smails of Bushwood. Most of the scenes Ty is in in the film involves him trying to play a round of golf, and he is at least good at that job.

Enter into this somewhat sedate world Al Czervik (Rodney Dangerfield), a brash and very uncivilized "commoner" (to use a word that Smails would probably call him).  He is "not Bushwood material", says Smails, revealing the snooty upper class prejudice that is part and parcel of his character.

Al gets on Smails bad side from the very start, ridiculing him and making gauche remarks, including trying to bet Smails on his performance on the course, and playing, god help us, rock music from his fancy golf club bag.

Another subplot in the film is the appearance of Lacy Underall (Cindy Morgan), the niece of Smails who has been sent for the summer.  Lacy is an uninhibited sort and seemingly something of a nymphomaniac.  She manages to not only get in the sack with Ty, but also with Danny.  And the coupling with Danny becomes something of a thorn, since Danny is in the process of sucking up to Smails for that scholarship...

Danny has an in on that scholarship if he can just win the caddy golf tournament.  And he is not a bad golfer.  He does win.  Which makes him a prime candidate later in the film when Smails and Al are battling in a separate golf contest.

That separate contest is what makes up the last 20 minutes of the movie.  See, Smails and Al have been at each other's throats and Al suggests playing a round of golf with $$ as the incentive.  Smails gets one of his upper class buddies as a partner and Al ropes Ty into being his partner, which Smails initially tries to stop.  

Smails: "Listen, Ty. Your father and I prepped together, went to war together, played golf together. We bult this club. Let's face it, some people do not belong.... What'dya say, Ty...?"

Ty (laughing): "You know, Judge... my dad never liked you... Let's make it 40,000."

Amid a very contentious rivalry, Al figures out that he really *sucks* at golf.  But he manages to wangle a replacement golfer to play the rest of his turn through the course... Guess who that is... Yep. Danny.

"I guess you didn't really want that scholarship" says the Judge, a last minute blatant bribery attempt to try to get Danny to decline, but we cheer when Danny smirks at him and says "I guess I didn't."

Don't miss out on the end of this movie.  Those of us from the wrong side of the tracks love a good "making the snobs eat crow" kind of movie, where the underdogs get the upper hand (probably for the only time in their lives). 

This works best, I think, in a serious format.  Hoosiers is still one of the greatest underdog movies of all time. But in the comedy realm we almost always root for the underdog to win, and even if they end up losing we still love them over those smarmy "better than you" guys. (Unless you're one of those people who were actually cheering for the Yankees against the Bears in The Bad News Bears...)

If you liked this movie and want to see some more in the comedy realm,  check out The Longest Yard (the Burt Reynolds original, not Adam Sandler's lame remake), or Major League. Both have some great comedic scenes around the struggle of the less-than-perfects trying to show up those who are holier-than-thou upper crusts, (so to speak).

Well, time to fire up the old Plymouth.  And here's hoping I can drive it a lot further than I can drive a golf ball, or it's going to be a loooooong trip...

Quiggy

Can't Stop the Laughter

 

 

 

Imagine you are an up and coming producer.  Imagine that you got your start as a promotional consultant for a rock opera by a popular group, the Who, and their rock opera movie extravaganza, Tommy. Imagine that you do such a good job at that, that the producer who gave you that job invited you to promote the next big feature, Saturday Night Fever.  Imagine that your success at that job was so good that you were given a chance to turn a hit Broadway play into a film.  That film, Grease, is such a huge and resounding success that your cache as producer is pretty much sealed.  Your next production is pretty much green-lighted and you can do what you want.

So what is the next "guaranteed success" that you put your fingers into the pie? Why not take what are two of the most popular things of the day and put them into a film?  I'm talking about that phenomenal popular fad of the day, disco music, and the most popular disco act of the day,  The Village People.  Disco will never die. And The Village People are sure to be a big drawing act well into the 21st century.  It's a dynamite combo, and the money it brings in will be enough to finance every major picture the studio wants to produce for the next decade, right?

It's too bad nobody told the producers that disco was already in it's death throes by the time cameras started rolling. (Which makes the original title that Carr and company wanted to call this film, Discoland: Where the Music Never Ends! seem like a joke..) Fortunately, for at least some of the people involved in the production, it wasn't the death throe for their respective careers.  Steve Guttenberg, the ostensible star of the film, went on to become a major presence in films of the 80's, including several Police Academy films, as well as Three Men and a Baby and Cocoon (and the sequels to both), and still gets roles even today.  Valerie Perrine worked well into the mid-2000's herself.  

One particular benefactor (maybe) of the process was Olivia Newton-John.  She asked for WAY too much money to appear in the film (the role eventually played by Perrine), and instead went on to do Xanadu  (and you can write your own opinion on her choice there,,,)

On the other hand, some careers basically died in the operating room.  By the time of this film, The Village People had become passe in the music world. Their attempt at a renaissance (with an album, aptly titled Renaissance) signaled the end for them. Nancy Walker, an actress with a healthy resume never got another chance to direct a feature film.  And Allan Carr, the producer only got a couple more chances to be producer, but never found the success of Grease again.  (See Grease II and Cloak and Dagger for proof of this,)

As I stated in my review of Xanadu a few years ago, this film and that one were a double feature that was  the inspiration for John Wilson to create the Razzies, the annual award given to the worst movies of the year.  And while I have mixed feelings about Xanadu even today (see my review), I can honestly say that Wilson had justification for his inspiration.

Can't Stop the Music (1980):

Jack Morell (Steve Guttenberg) is a put upon wannabe musical genius, forced to do the 9-5 thing at a record store. (Just a side note, OK, so this is New York City, but I can't imagine a place with this much space devoted only to music. The place must be as big as a Wal-Mart...) Anyway, the boss insists that Jack work over time that night helping with inventory, but Jack already has plans to make a big showing at the local disco as a guest D.J., where he already has plans to slip in one of his own productions into the music show. And thus insuring his resounding success as a musical ingenue. So, what choice does he have?  He quits (or is fired... take your pick.)

Which brings up the first laughable scene.  During the opening credits Jack roller skates through New York to a tune called "Sound of the City" by a guy named David London.  The enthusiasm Jack exudes as he skates is what makes this so funny. Jack meets up with Sam (Valerie Perrine), who is either his roommate, or his girlfriend, or some other significant person in his life (sister, maybe...?) Sam is a retired model who, in her previous life, posed for poster ads. In one scene, she actually defaces her own likeness on a bus,

Jack tells Sam about his change in life, but is insistent that it doesn't matter about his lack of income, because he is going to be a big shot imminently. (Oh, for the positivity of youth...)

At the disco (called Saddle Tramps, which sounds more like it ought to be a country western bar), Sam wanders the floor and dances with every guy in the place, including a few who probably wouldn't look twice at her if it wasn't necessary for the film.  (A couple of them are future Village People members...)

Jack finally gets to play the song he composed "S-s-s-s-Samantha!", which, of course, is a big hit. At least to the crowd in the bar.  But remember, it's a bar.  People drink in bars...

Sam tells Jack that his music is good, but that his voice "sounds like someone crying for help".  But it costs money to get together some background singers and some time in a real recording studio. So Sam looks around to try to wheedle a few village locals who are willing to work cheap. (As in free.) Sam gets neighbor Felipe (who likes to wear Indian headdresses) and Randy (who has an infinity for Cowboy hats), and David (who works as a construction worker) to drop by her place.

(Just wondering.  How the hell small is New York City?  It seems to me like everybody knows everybody here. With the exception of when Jenner's Ron White comes on the scene it seems like all of the characters, even the incidental ones, are familiar with each other...)

The first musical sequence is a song called "I Love You to Death" in which David sings about love to a passel of very hot female models.  (Note: there is only one of the Village People's popular songs in this film.  The rest are ones that you never heard on the radio, and unless you are a diehard fan, probably never even heard outside of the radio...)

In between all of this action is Sam's former manager, Sydney (Tammy Grimes), trying to lure her out of retirement for a lucrative ad campaign for, of all things, MILK...  And Sydney's assistant, Lulu (Marilyn Sokol), who is so hard up for a man that she'll take anything that comes along.  Added to the mix is a lawyer, Ron (Bruce Jenner), who just seems to have been added to the film as an afterthought.

Ron seems to be the outsider in all this mess.  While everyone else is a late 70's/early 80's free spirit, Ron is the equivalent of an "uptight square" (a term he is called in the movie).  But then again, he may be meant to be the barometer of acceptability in a world that seems to be teetering on the edge of chaos. 

The assemblage of initial prospects that Sam ropes in to do a demo tape (made in the good old-fashioned tradition of a pizza party / recording session). On hand are the characters of the Indian, Felipe (Felipe Rose}. the Construction Worker, David (David Hodo) and the Cowboy, Randy (Randy Jones). A late addition is a cop, Ray (Ray Simpson) who shows up to take information on a mugging of Ron earlier, but abandons his job to become the lead singer of this impromptu group.

Sam takes the demo to an old boyfriend, Steve (Paul  Sand), who coincidentally happens to be a producer at Marrakesh Records. So they've got a start, but they need to add a few more singers, and thus enter the G.I., Alex (Alex Briley) and a guy dressed in leather, Glenn (Glenn Hughes) who auditions with a version of "Danny Boy" (which, although well done, comes off as one of the more humorous parts of the movie). 

Now they just need a name for the group.  Well, all the members reside in Greenwich Village, so what else COULD they call them...? The Village People.

By now, if it's not apparent if you've been watching, everyone involved in this movie is acting like the are "acting to the back of the auditorium". In other words, there is so much over-acting, I was waiting for Jim Carrey to pop out of a cake. There is a lot of stuff in this movie that is just ridiculous.  And I started to see what caused John Wilson to go off and form the Razzie Awards. (And the movie is only half over).

The Village People are basically playing themselves (heterosexual versions of themselves, but still themselves...) Except, at least by this point, none of their well-known hits have even been featured...

BUT WAIT! 

Just after they finish signing a contract on what is sure to be mega-stardom the gang is out on the street which seques to a scene in the local...wait for it....

Y.M.C.A.

Finally! Something we've been waiting for.  And a song that sums up the whole Village People appeal. This part makes the whole previous hour or so of the film pay off in my opinion.  Great song but the scenes in this part are uproarious! (BTW, in case you don't have the stamina to sit through this movie just to see this one scene, you can thank me, because I'll give you to you here...)

(Well, I tried, anyway.  Apparently you can't watch that clip unless you prove you are of an appropriate age.  But to be honest, it does verge a little into PG13 or R status, even if the movie was released as PG...)

OK, so Sam finally gets her ex-boyfriend to give the band a listen, but, while singing a song I hadn't heard of before "Liberation" (and guess what that song is about), they pretty much bomb and turn off the potential producer.  So they decide the only way to get an album is to produce their own. But that requires money.  So Sam serves up her pride on another plate and calls her old boss to agree to go back to the model world and do a commercial for... milk. And doing another deep cut song "Milkshake".

The Village People make an appearance in the commercial to help (including a band of child actors who are supposed to be younger versions of themselves.  And one wonders how badly that scarred those kids lives...)

Eventually the movie comes together at the end with a concert featuring the group performing the title track "Can't Stop the Music" (looking quite a bit like the end of Xanadu, if you ask me.) And the whole screen fills with dancers, extras and all the cast members appearing on stage. complete with a shower of glitter (befitting a band that was more about performance than actual musicianship).

Looking back, this review seems to be saying I agreed with the critics in saying this film was just fluff. Actually it's entertaining as long as you are willing to not take it too seriously. The movie is definitely not for all ages, however. As I noted above, it's rated PG, but if the same movie were released today it would probably be a strong P!3, maybe even an R, for sexually suggestive scenes.

I can't end this before I list some of the "memorable" dialogue from this movie.  Most of it is just as hilarious as the plot.  Whether or not it was intentional, some of it just zings with kitsch.

"This place is gonna be a regular Studio 54. You know Halston, the big designer? His seamstress was in here the other night with Calvin Klein's chauffer.  Lot's of biggies..." -Benny (delivered with smarminess befitting the character).

"I've seen you plastered all over New York."

"Well, don't spread it around." -Benny and Sam

"Anyone who could swallow two Snowballs and a Ding Dong should have no problem with pride." -Jack

"I adore San Francisco. My favorite ex-husband lives there." - Sydney

"Housework is like bad sex. Every time I do it I swear I'll never do it again. Until the next time company comes." -Lulu

Well, time to fire up the old Plymouth. I got company coming...

Quiggy

Sand and Stars

 

 

 

 

 

This is my entry in the John Saxon Blogathon hosted by Realweegiemidget Reviews and Cinematic Catharsis

 

 

 

 

So who is John Saxon? Well, Saxon, whose real name was Carmine Orrico, was a guy who made a name for himself in the 70's and 80's as a go to guy for such low budget horror and martial arts films that were the bread and butter of the drive-in movie circuit.  You may not recognize the name, but it's a sure bet you would recognize the face, especially if you watched those kinds of movies.

During his heyday he was a presence in such films as  Enter the Dragon (notably Bruce lee's last completed film) in which he is among a group of competitors in a tournament on a remote island. and many Westerns and crime dramas in the 70's.  Although he never achieved a high profile starring role for the most part, he did get a lot of attention whenever he was on screen.  He managed to win a Golden Globes award as New Star of the Year, an award he shared with James Garner and Patrick Wayne (from 1954-1965 there were multiple winners of the award  each year).

Saxon had a career that spanned from 1954 to 2017 (a few years before his death), but he was most active in the 70's and 80's. He did get roles ointo even the 90's and 2000's.   I didn't know it at the time, but I recently re-watched Beverly Hills Cop III, and lo and behold, there was Saxon in yet another role, this time as one of the baddies.

Blood Beach (1979):

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water... you can't get past the beach! 

You know, for years, I thought that was the tagline from this movie. It plays on the fears caused by the blockbuster Jaws from a few years previous.  However, it turns out that the tagline is slightly different.

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water ... you can't get to it!

Notice the difference?  I think my tag is better, but, we can't do anything about it now...

Anyway, as intimated in the tagline, this movie initially plays off the fears of beach fun that that blockbuster had on vacation traffic back in 1975.  Surely the makers of this movie did not envision having that kind of impact on vacationers.  (If they did, then I want some of what they were smoking in the boardroom...)

And while I'm admitting misconceptions, for years, before I ever got to actually see the movie, I had sworn that I heard that the creature at the end of the film turned out to be a giant ant lion.  Whether that was an actual ending of another film, I can't say, but as you will see if you make it to the end of this review, you will see that it was NOT necessarily a giant ant lion.

The movie opens with Harry (David Huffman) going off to his job as a harbor patrol man.  He apparently swims out to his job. On the beach he greets a woman, Ruth, who is doing her daily walk on the beach with her dog.  While Harry is out swimming he hears the screams of the woman, whom we see pulled down into the sand and disappear.

 

What happened to her?  No one seems to know, since it seems no one saw her disappear.  At least no one who is coming forward.  We do see a woman watching the scene from an abandoned building, but she is not making herself known.

The LA Police are dubious.about her disappearance.  The two detective partners who discuss the disappearance with Harry (played by the Young brothers, Otis and Burt... OK they aren't really brothers, but isn't it interesting that they are both named Young?)

 

 

There former girlfriend of Harry, Catherine (Marianne Hill) shows up, because, coincidentally, she was also the daughter of Ruth, and has shown up to find out what happened to her mother.

 

 

 

The incident with Ruth is investigated, but no one is sure how a woman can just suddenly disappear from a deserted beach.  One of the better parts of the film, at least for me,  is when Burt Young is on the screen.  Sure, he is playing a character that is typical for him, a crass, brash and not too bright bruiser type.  But Burt always did brighten up movies I saw him in.  

The next "victim" of of our mysterious enemy is the pet dog of the woman killed earlier.  The dog is looking for his missing mistress and ends up losing it's head over the loss.  Literally.

Cut to the crowded beach.  The next potential victim is a girl who is with friends being covered in sand.  She starts screaming that something is biting her legs. She is pulled from the sand, her loegs covered in blood (but still intact).  (And depending on which cut of the movie you see, there is a brief (very brief) glimpse of whatever is doing this.

Finally, our star makes his appearance.  Saxon, who is the chief of police, Captain Pearson, is talking with the assembly of police discussing the incidents, the missing woman, the dog and the girl who was "slumming; I presume" from Beverly Hills. And he wants answers.  (Well, who doesn't, John?  Who doesn't?) He's got everybody from the mayor to the daughter to the parents of the girl to the ASPCA (who want to know what the police are doing to investigate a blatant act of cruelty to animals because of the dog victim.  (Yes, there are some attempts of comedy in this film...  poor attempts, but attempts, nonetheless.)

Several more people are attacked by this sand creature including a would be sex offender who, without being too graphic, won't be doing any sexual offenses in the future.  Viewing the scene Capt Pearson says the tag line "just when you thought it was safe..."  (The writers don't miss a chance with this one...)

As with that other classic beach monster film, no one seems to have any idea that if there is something dangerous around, maybe a good idea would be to avoid the dangerous area.  So we are going to see a couple more victims being swallowed up by the beach.  (And for a movie called :"Blood Beach" there is surprisingly little "blood"in these attacks.  The ones that are swallowed whole apparently have no blood in them.)

Interestingly enough, we do get some very brief looks at this creature as it shows it consuming the victims below the surface.  It's looking almost like some kind of slug. But the real thing is, when the authorities finally discover it's lair and set up video cameras, that it looks more like some kind of Venus flytrap. 

 

 Captain Pearson has the lair rigged up with explosives designed to blow the thing to smithereens.  But as a doctor intimates, there are some things that exist in the world that are capable of regeneration and wonders what might become of each smithereens if they do blow the thing to Kingdom come.

 OK, so if you are operating on all cylinders, you can see how the final scene rolls out.  

Is this movie any good?  Well, I can give you the best thing I can, which is tell you how one of my review books puts it.  It's a "silly little shocker that can best be described as "sucky"." Which is a tongue-in-cheek reference to the way the creatures sucks it's victims into the beach, but is not a bad description of the film.  If you want to save time, just think of it as Baywatch with less bikinis and more blood.  Or at least more disappearing bodies...

Battle Beyond the Stars (1980):

This film, made on the cheap by the famous low budget mogul Roger Corman has a cache of stars and future stars to boost it into the stratosphere.  Besides our current subject, Saxon, the film also has Richard Thomas (yes, John-Boy Walton is in this...).  It also features George Peppard (Col. Hannibal Smith from The A-Team, and the titular detective Banacek... or for those of you into that kind of movie, Paul from Breakfast at Tiffany's).  Additionally you've got Robert Vaughn (Napoleon Solo from The Man from U.N.C.L.E., among others...), Jeff Corey ( a face you would recognize, even if the name is not familiar), Sybil Danning (one of the big names in the babes with guns and/or swords genre of film) and Marta Kristen (Judy Robinson from the TV series Lost in Space). And Julia Duffy (Newhart) makes her big screen debut. It also has music composed by James Horner (whose resume included, among others, the films Titanic and Field of Dreams).. And James (Jim) Cameron was involved in the art direction and visual effects. And the script was written by another giant in the industry, John Sayles (who directed several high profile films, including my favorite sports movie, Eight Men Out).

The film has been described as Star Wars meets Seven Samurai, At the start, Sador (John Saxon) of the Malmori has come to the planet Akir. (A name that is homage to Akira Kurosawa, director of Seven Samurai, among other great Japanese samurai flicks). He informs the people of Akir that he intends to subjugate them in a short time. 

 

 

Zed (Jeff Corey) tells the people they must learn to fight, a thing that has not been a part of Akir society for many years.  What must happen is they must gather some mercenaries to help them, and thus we have Shad (Richard Thomas), the only one who apparently can fly their lone star ship to head out to recruit these mercenaries.

 

 

But first he needs the help of old Zed's former ally, Dr. Hephaestus (Sam Jaffe).  He goes to the spaceport home of the doc, but the Doc is just a shadow of his former self, in more ways than one.  He insists that Akir is doomed, with or without help, and wants Shad to stay on the spaceport and, with his daughter, Nanelia (Darlanne Fluegel), repopulate the spaceport. (All it has are androids...)  But Shad is insistent on saving Akir, and with Nanelia's help, escapes.

 

 

The next goal is to round up the mercenaries.  Fortunately for Shad, one is just around the corner.  Cowboy (George Peppard) could be a big help, that is if Shad can exercise a little bravado and kill a few people who are trying to kill Cowboy themselves... 

 

When he has finished, Shad tries to convince Cowboy to join the team.  But before he does, we get to see why Sador is such a badass.  He has a "stellar converter". Think Death Star, but on a smaller budget.  Essentially, instead of blowing up planets, Sador can eliminate his enemies by turning their planets into suns.

 Meanwhile, Nanelia is rescued (captured?) by another race, a mercenary creature who goes by the name of Cayman. (And Cayman looks a lot like a couple of other creatures from movies I've seen, like the alien in Enemy Mine). Cayman rescued her, but intends to sell her to another party.  That is until he finds out that Nanelia is seeking mercenaries to fight Sador. It seems Cayman and Sador are NOT bosom buddies... 

 

And Shad runs into the Nestor who want in on the action. (BTW, I wonder if this is where Star Trek got the idea for the Borg.  The Nestor are sentient beings who share one consciousness... "What one sees, all see, what one knows, all know...) They are not looking for gain in the matter, they just want to join in the quest, however.

 

And then Shad meets up with Gelt (Robert Vaughn) the sole remaining mercenary of his own world.  And Gelt is reminiscent of the character that Vaughn played in The Magnificent Seven, Lee, a guy who doesn't care what he has to do, just as long as he gets paid to do it.

 

The final piece of the puzzle is St. Exmin of the Valkiri (Sybil Danning).  Shad is not entirely gung-ho about her joining the party however, since he ship is small and it doesn't look much like a fighting machine.  (Of course, if he could see her, he might make an exception...)  But she is nothing if not determined and somehow ends up on the fighting team anyway.

 

Which leads up to the final battle.  As any good Star Wars knockoff, there are some decent space battles, but since, as I said before, this has some elements of Seven Samurai (or The Magnificent Seven, for you neophytes), there is also a battle on Akir's surface. And that's where Cowboy's help comes in handy, since his trade of choice is hand weapons, so he has taught the Akir how to handle themselves in hand-to-hand combat.

Ultimately, a few brave souls have to die.  And most of them die spectacularly.  (That $2 million budget wasn't all wasted on actor talent...).  This isn't Star Wars, of course, it's just Star Wars Lite.  But damn, it is a great movie in it's own right.  If you have an hour and a half to kill, I recommend it.

Well, folks, that wraps up this trip.  The old Plymouth may not make it to Akir, but it's good enough to get home (as long as I don't run into Saxon on the way...)  Drive safely, folks.

Quiggy

 

 

Blues for a Sunday

On October 11, 1975, a group of performers gathered together to foist upon the public what is one of the longest running TV shows in history, Saturday Night Live.  It has only a few rivals for that  distinction (all of which are either soap operas or news shows).  Three months into the show's first season, on Jan. 17, 1976, during the 10th episode, cast members John Belushi and Dan Ackroyd dressed in bee costumes, touted as "The Killer Bees" and performed a Slim Harpo song "I'm a King Bee".  This was the first incarnation of what would eventually morph into "the Blues Brothers".

Initially, the genesis stemmed from Ackroyd and Belushi's affinity for old blues records.  It did take a while for the Blues Brothers to emerge.  They performed as the bees characters 11 times during the first season.  But Belushi notably was quoted as saying he hated the bees.  Not long afterwards they reincarnated as the "Blues Brothers".

Ackroyd and Belushi pulled together a monster list of well known studio musicians from the blues world.  These included Matt "Guitar" Murphy, Tom "Bones" Malone, "Blue" Lou Marini, Steve "The Colonel" Cropper, Donald "Duck" Dunn, Willie "Too Big" Hall, Murphy "Murph" Dunne and Alan "Mr. Fabulous" Rubin.

They performed together for a notable concert, released as an album, Briefcase Full of Blues, in 1978, with Belushi and Ackroyd taking on the personas of "Joliet" Jake and Elwood Blues respectively.  This was parlayed into a movie contract.  Belushi and Ackroyd played the titular Blues brothers while the rest of the band basically appeared as themselves.

The Blues Brothers (1980):

"Joiliet" Jake Blues(John Belushi) is just being released from prison for serving time for committing armed robbery.  He is picked up by his brother, Elwood (Dan Ackroyd).  To Jake's consternation, Elwood picks him up in a police car.  It seems that during the time that Jake was in prison, his brother had parlayed the original "Bluesmobile" in a trade for a microphone, and had since gotten the used police car at an auction.  Jake is upset, but Elwood convinces him that it is a good new "Bluesmobile" after engaging in a car chase with the police which manages to destroy a mall.

Jake and Elwood have to go see "The Penguin" (Kathleen Freeman), their name for the Mother Superiior at a Catholic school where they had schooled in their younger days.  The Penguin breaks the bad news to the boys that the Catholic Church intends to shut down the school because the property taxes on the building are too high and the church wants to sell the old building outright.

Spurred on by the janitor, Curtis (Cab Calloway), who had spun old blues records for them when they were kids, Jake and Elwood try to devise a way to raise the money to pay the taxes.  Ultimately they decide to reunite their old band.  The problem is most of them have moved on to real jobs and are unlikely to be willing to join up.

For one thing, Mr. Fabulous is now head maitre' d at a fancy French restaurant.  Matt Murphy has gotten himself hitched and works with his wife (Aretha Franklin) at a chicken jointin downtown Chicago.  Murphy Dunne and some of the others have a gig in a hotel bar playing cheesy music for the patrons.  Most of them are somewhat initially reluctant to reunite, but Elwood and Jake shame them into reuniting in various ways.

Together the band load up the equipment and go out to a gig that Jake has lined up for them.  Except Jake really has no gig.  His first act is to convince a local redneck bar that they are the scheduled headliners "The Good Old Boys" a country band.  How they manage to pull that off is a sight to see.  But when the real band shows up, and the Blues Brothers attempt to skip out on their bar tab with the redneck bar owner, a chase is on.

Over the course of the movie, the Blues Brothers manage to wangle themselves into a serious altercation with a neo Nazi group, the aforementioned redneck band and bar owner and of course the entire police forces of the city of Chicago and the state of Illinois.  The whole movie, from a plot aspect, is just one long car chase with lots of cars getting destroyed (all except the Bluesmobile, which manages to escape any damage until the final reel).

But what really makes the movie are the guest stars, a who's who of blues music.  You get Aretha Franklin performing her classic song "Think".  You get Ray Charles performing "Shake a Tail Feather".  You get the band performing "Everybody Needs Somebody to Love' and my absolute favorite version of my absolute favorite blues song "Sweet Home Chicago".  And to top it off you get James Brown as a revivalist preacher doing a bang up job of an old gospel song "The Old Landmark".  Plus Cab Calloway sizzles in one scene doing a warmup for the concert the Blues Brothers are scheduled to perform by doing his classic "Minnie the Moocher".

The plot of The Blues Brothers is good enough for one or two viewings by itself, but the music is sure to keep you coming back time and again.

The same could be said about the sequel Blues Brothers 2000.  In this case the plot is pretty much crap, however.  But damn, the songs on it are well worth sitting through the rest of the movie.  Unfortunately by the time they got around to this sequel, Belushi, Calloway and John Candy from the original movie were dead, but John Goodman does a halfway decent job taking over on the music side.   Plus, at the end of the movie you get a battle of the bands with the Blues Brothers on one side and an all-star cast of blues musicians called The Louisiana Gator Boys, with B. B. King leading them on the other side.  (Way too many to list here, but among them is Eric Clapton).  I highly recommend sitting through the claptrap plot just to see the musical interludes.

Well folks, time to fire up the old Plymouth and head home.  Watch out for the rednecks... and the Nazis... and especially the cops.

Quiggy